Fight For the Holy Grail

[kritaya]

A time warp has plunked four combatants on a battlefield. Hovering over the center is the Holy Grail. The four must battle to determine who will take the treasure back with them. The four combatants are: King Arthur, Indiana Jones, Macgyver, and Robert Langdon from "The Da Vinci Code."

Arthur rides a horse. The others have motorcyles. There are four fortified bases scattered about the battlefield. In them are mystical chests which contain knives, grenades, molotov cocktails, crossbows, and AK-47s. They can be opened by force or by deciphering a complicated language code on the lock, but if they are opened by force, the grenades disappear. Each base has an auto-loading catapult as well.

Rational discussion is not an option. It's kill or be killed.

[godofPH]

Which King Arthur is this?

[kritaya]

Give me some options. My knowledge is limited. I was thinking a literary Arthur ala movies like Excaliber, not a historical one. Historical Arthur would rust his britches if he saw a motorcycle, but a literary one would wave it off as some kind of magic.

[godofPH]

Oh poo, you didn't mention the greatest dramatic portrayal of Arthur at all...Graham Chapman in Monty Python and the Holy Grail! :p

[kritaya]

Chapman's Arthur gets +1 Dumb Luck. But he'd be running away all the time.:p

[Tokyo VigilanteX]

My god.

Macgyver creates a Time Paradox with his time machine made from a catapult, motorcycle engine, crossbow, the chest, and a pocket knife.

NEVER give Macgyver that much to work with. INFACT, its best to send Macgyver into battle naked so he has no place to keep that ****ing pocket knife.

[kritaya]

ROFLMAO!!:laugh: That made my night!

[rodanguirus]

I say, unless those hand grenades are "holy", a certain rabid rabbit takes them all out.

[Goji Son]

Such a silly question from you zealot-types, it's impossible for any of them to obtain the Grail because those damned French with outrageous accents guard it in the castle of 'Arggghh'. Now go away or I will taunt you a second time!

[Goji Son]

NEVER give Macgyver that much to work with. INFACT, its best to send Macgyver into battle naked so he has no place to keep that ****ing pocket knife.

He doesn't need clothes to hide a pocket knife...

[Seer235]

Well, lesse, Angus fashions his Motorcycle into a drilling machine, burrows into the castle of "Arggghh" and steals the Holy Grail (meeting up with a damsel in distress with an 80's haircut along the way), while the rest are thwarted by the vicious bunny rabbit (which MacGyver burrowed under).

Now, assuming that this battle actually takes place in the battlefield described....

MacGyver uses the motorcycle and the catapult to build a bazooka that shoots gasoline fireballs. He roasts the other 3 and takes the Holy Grail.

[Tokyo VigilanteX]

He doesn't need clothes to hide a pocket knife...
Ew.
He'd just make clothes out of the Sand around him . . . Using the pocket knife.

Damnit! How does that man find so many uses for a Pocket Knife?

[kritaya]

Well, lesse, Angus fashions his Motorcycle into a drilling machine, burrows into the castle of "Arggghh" and steals the Holy Grail (meeting up with a damsel in distress with an 80's haircut along the way), while the rest are thwarted by the vicious bunny rabbit (which MacGyver burrowed under).

Aha! But if he meets a damsel in distress with an 80's haircut, it's probably Zoot, or perhaps her identical twin sister, Dingo. Either way, it means he's not in Castle "Arggghh," but Castle Anthrax instead, trapped with eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half.

[Goji Son]

Aha! But if he meets a damsel in distress with an 80's haircut, it's probably Zoot, or perhaps her identical twin sister, Dingo. Either way, it means he's not in Castle "Arggghh," but Castle Anthrax instead, trapped with eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half.

That's too much peril for one man.

[Gorjirus]

MacGyver.

Becuase he alone is probably diplomatic enough for the French to actually let him in the castle. It is after he is in that we would have to make something up to escape.

[Cole Deschain]

Indiana Jones. +20 insane luck modifier.

Because he magically wins every fight- even those that he's losing up until the killing stroke.

[HolyGoji777]

my god the puns just dont stop

RUN AWAYYY!!!!!!!

Tim the Enchanter pwns them all.

actually macgyver wins by building a holy grail out of the things in the chest.

[kritaya]

MacGyver.

Becuase he alone is probably diplomatic enough for the French to actually let him in the castle. It is after he is in that we would have to make something up to escape.

Diplomacy? The French Taunters would fart in it's general direction. If he did get in though, getting out would be easy. He'd make a giant trojan Macgyver and they'd catapult him out.