funny sayings

[OniGojira]

You have any?

Here are some I've heard, and logically they are weird.

Bright eyed and bushy tailed: WTF is that? To me it sounds like a squirreal on crack.

I don't give a rat's a$$: Why would you want to recieve a rat's a$$?

He's on the lamb: This guy needs a girlfriend immediately.

I don't want you to beat a dead horse: I wouldn't want you to either. People say dumb stuff.

She's a party pooper: Ewww. Keep her away from the dip.

She'll bend over backwards to please you: *clears throat* Really? What's her number?

[Cyndi]

"A stitch in time saves nine." I have no idea what that means.

[OniGojira]

"What you don't know can't hurt you" Oh really? Let's just ask Abe Lincoln or JFK about that.

"You can hear a pin drop" No, you can hear it hit, but not drop. It's falling through air.

"Takes the cake." Where? Where does the cake go?

"I heard that." Oh did you? Isn't that exciting. WTF is this, a hearing test?

[Zigra]

"Why is it that when people speak of marriage, they use words like 'commitment' and 'institution'?"

[ookami]

"Whatever floats your boat."

[Bruticus]

He's on the lamb: This guy needs a girlfriend immediately.

I'm pretty sure in this case that it's lam, not lamb.

I've always been amused by the various contradictory phrases involving "as hell:" Fast as hell, slow as hell; hot as hell, cold as hell, etc. Can't hell make up its mind as to what it wants to be?

[Metal Zombie]

"There's more than one way to skin a cat."

I wonder how that one came about, and, on top of that, if there's a list of the number of ways to skin one. I suspect it'd be either really long or really short...

[OniGojira]

That one on the cat reminds me of a George Carlin joke. :)

"Bat outta hell" Well why would a bat be in hell? Does he like it there? I think it should be a belfery.

[Goji Son]

"A stitch in time saves nine." I have no idea what that means.

It's from a Jethro Tull song, I have no clue what it means either.

[Saruman]

It's from a Jethro Tull song, I have no clue what it means either.

Correction, you just don't have a clue period.

I mean how could you let Ashton Kutcher steal the spotlight from you on "That 70's Show" and become more successful than you? Oh wait that wasn't you, I keep getting you mixed up with Topher Grace, LOL.

:darklord:


Oh and basically what that saying means is that is better to take care of a problem now then wait to deal with it later, because it will most likely get worse if you wait.;)

[OniGojira]

Some saying identified by George Carlin:

"There's no such thing as a free lunch" What about at home? Do you need to pay to get food to microwave?

"One thing leads to another" Not so. Ask a drug addict.

"Home made" I don't car how much the waitress reminds you of your mom, the soup is not home made. That is unless somone is living in the kitchen, and if that's the case I want to get a good look at this person and check for diseases.

"Home style" Yeah, but whose home are we talking about? Jeffery Dahmers? Believe me there is nothing home style about the boiled head of a human being.

"Food is hearty" Yeah hearty as in a heart attack.

I found more at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tagalog_language#Proverbs

[Gorjirus]

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself

[Cyndi]

"I burst my pimples at you and call your door opening request a silly thing!" ....or something like that. :p

[godzy]

"Mum's the word."

Silly me. Here I was thinking buckwheat was the word:sarcasm:

"More fun the a barrel of monkeys."

WHAT KIND OF SICK NUT STICKS MONKEYS IN A BARREL AND CALLS IT FUN??!!

"I've got a monkey on my back."

Probably revenge for sticking him in the barrel.;)

[OniGojira]

Here's a funny one my dad says.

"Half passed a monkey's a$$, and a quarter to his balls". :laugh: He says that when someone asks what time it is.

How would someone measure that for time?

[Gorjirus]

"More fun the a barrel of monkeys."

WHAT KIND OF SICK NUT STICKS MONKEYS IN A BARREL AND CALLS IT FUN??!!


Even if it is sarcasm, its such stupid sarcasm I have to point it out.

A "barrel of mokeys" was a TOY.

[Cyndi]

My dad says "Two hairs past a freckle" when someone asks him the time and he isn't wearing his watch.

[godzy]

Even if it is sarcasm, its such stupid sarcasm I have to point it out.

A "barrel of mokeys" was a TOY.

I knew that........really.:hmmm:

[Cole Deschain]

"'Almost' only counts with horse shoes and hand grenades."

Hand grenades, yes.

Horse shoes, no.

"Time flies when you're having fun."

No, time flies when you're BUSY.

[Zardac the Great]

I say "close only counts in Horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear weapons."


HK-47 says "Definition: Love is making a shot to the target's knees at 120 kilometers using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: I am told that this definition is open to interpretation, but obviously, love is a matter of odds, as not many meatbags could make that shot, and fewer could derive love from it."

[OniGojira]

This is one I heard a lot from one of my teachers. "Does a bear crap in the woods?"

Evidently yes, but why the need to back up such a claim? *shrugs*

[Spookshow_Baby]

This one makes sense, you say it when someone asks a question with an obvious answer - "Do sinners burn in hell?"

or my dad's stupid word.

"Hey, which way to Dairy Queen"

"a callywumpus to the left"

WTF MAN?