The Eternal Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Void Skull · #1 January 24th, 2006, 12:51 PM

What's your answer to the question? I don't want to read "to get to the other side", that is too simple. You could post up to three answers at once, my answers would have to be:

1. It was being chased by Gojira

2. It's head was fried and could not see where it was going

3. Fido the dog was staring at it

What's your answer to the eternal question?

PS: Yay! 260 posts!

This place is awesome!

Godzilla · #2 January 24th, 2006, 02:55 PM

Pathetic Mortal. Only eternal ones like me no the answer.

Because it was showing the Opossum how it was done.

You n00bs get wierder and wierder each day.

godzy · #3 January 24th, 2006, 03:55 PM

It was a day just like any other day. Cluck the chicken was getting back from work. F***! He hated El Pollo Loco. He was walking along side the road to his house when he noticed something: a glowing capsule, about 10 feet long. It was glowing with a strange phosphorescence. Humph, that’s odd, Cluck thought. Oh well…

Suddenly, a red heat ray shot out of the capsule, barely missing Cluck. Cluck nimbly jumped aside as a huge monster crawled out of the capsule! Damn! I hate Mondays, thought Cluck. Quickly, he ran across the road and pulled out a grenade that had been neatly concealed under his wing. The monster roared and swiped his claw, but Cluck ducked under and threw the grenade, blowing the monster to Hell. Cluck then went along his way, wondering what was for dinner that night.

That’s why the chicken crossed the road, thank you.

packmule · #4 January 25th, 2006, 04:11 AM

Possible reasons: 1. It was on it's way to eat at Kentucky Fried Humans 2. It was suicidal and wanted to get hammered by a passing 18-wheeler or dump truck

biochemitra · #5 January 25th, 2006, 03:18 PM

The chicken forgets why he crossed the road the frirst time, now however, he crosses it to get away from people who are SOOOO interested in why it crossed it int he first place!
Give the chicken a break, people! What, a chicken can't cross a road without becoming one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of our world?

It's just a bird that decided that something was on the other side that it wanted to get to, now leave it at that and let that poor chicken live in peace!

biochemitra · #6 January 26th, 2006, 09:50 PM

Pear, no personal Insults.

Everyone else, no being hard on pear, it's just harmless fun.

As for why it crossed the road, if you must know, it was running away from home, as family reuinion brought his velociraptor cousins to his house.

Raptor · #7 January 26th, 2006, 11:25 PM

He was following the undiscovered next big star who was just getting off his job as a dish washer at Barnhill's and wearing a "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you have to work with turkeys" T-shirt.

HolyGoji777 · #8 January 27th, 2006, 01:40 AM

because if it just stood in the middle of it, he would get run over.

packmule · #9 January 29th, 2006, 01:56 AM

Other possible reasons: 1. he was on his way to Chik Fil-Et to pick up some cheesecake and a gallon of tea 2. he was in training to become a school crossing guard

UltraGojira · #10 January 29th, 2006, 10:50 AM

Hey, hey, HEY!!! Come on, guys, chill out! I am not believing on what I am reading right now. All Monster Pear wanted to do is to have fun, not ask for insults. You know, insults are one thing that I'm frustrated to hear and just cannot stand! What you guys are doing is totally uncalled for and inappropriate And now I'm angry, and I'm usually a nice person who doesn't get angry that often. I really think that Monster Pear's idea is clever, because he's just trying to do something new rather than answering "To get to the other side", which I can't stand that answer all the time.

So, please, don't throw any insults at Monster Pear, have fun with this, and answer this question like civilized message board members!

Anyway, my answer...

The chicken was walking all day, with no one walking beside her, in front of her, or even behind her. Suddenly, she spots a road, and was very curious for a moment, but then she decided to cross it. Before she did, a missile crashed to the ground besides her, causing the chicken to panic and look around.

It was Mecha-Hen, who was the chicken's arch-rival. The mechanical hen then fired missiles again. The poor chicken dodged and dodged, trying to avoid the missiles. Then, she turned around, and saw the other side of the road. She would probably cross to the other side of the road to avoid being hit by Mecha-Hen's missiles. So she crossed to the other side of the road. As she reached to the other side, she turns around, and notices that Mecha-Hen was crossing the road.

However, before he could reach to her, he spotted a truck that was headed towards him. Mecha-Hen panicked, and tried to finish the chicken off, but he was too late as the truck runs all over Mecha-Hen. As the truck passes, all that was left of Mecha-Hen was bolts and scraps of metal that lied all over the road.

That's how the chicken crossed the road.

Trauma · #11 January 30th, 2006, 10:40 PM

Ugh. Can't help but laugh alittle.

The chicken crossed the rode cause he was in need of the great American product...a good flask of vodka.

Bruticus · #12 January 30th, 2006, 10:44 PM

He saw one of the nasty creatures that I just drew in my notebook (a decapitated human head mounted on a crystal ball with mechanical spider legs). It's enough to make anyone cross the road in haste.

Raptor · #13 May 5th, 2006, 08:28 AM

"A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion." - A sig seen on the SeMo.Net message board.

Zardac the Great · #14 May 10th, 2006, 02:05 PM

One of several reasons depending on who is asked.

Saddam Hussein: Crossing the road was an open act of agression, and we were quite justified in dropping two tons of Mustard Gas on it.

Loius Farakhan: The chicken, you see, represents the White Man, and the road represents the Black Man. The "White Man" trampled the "Black Man" to keep him downtrodden and oppressed.

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Zardac the Great: The chicken was on a mission to rally my troops to prevent "Certain People" from conquering the world.

Dr. Strangelove · #15 May 10th, 2006, 03:02 PM

Albert Einstein- Is the chicken crossing the road, or the road moveing beneth the chicken?

Cyndi · #16 August 7th, 2006, 05:23 PM

It crossed the road because it was emo and wanted everybody to feel sorry for it when it got run over.

CII · #17 August 8th, 2006, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zardac the Great

Zardac the Great: The chicken was on a mission to rally my troops to prevent "Certain People" from conquering the world.

Damn that Chicken! It's on to my schemes!

MirrenDono · #18 August 8th, 2006, 03:07 AM

It crossed the road because no cars were driving by then.

Dr. Strangelove · #19 August 8th, 2006, 08:08 AM

Actually, the answer is as simple as- it wanted to get to the other side. People come up with these complex answers because humans naturally try to find the most complex answer first, rather then the most obvious and simple..

Komissar · #20 August 8th, 2006, 09:29 AM

The chicken, in a move typical of B-movie celebrities and the occasional hamster-eating wood chipper, went down the street to obtain two boxes of chocolate frosted donuts and a bottle of grapefruit juice mixed with bourbon. However, he didn't need to cross the road for this errand. On his way out of the store, he saw Chuck Norris fighting off a 20-foot-tall bulletproof marmot wielding an RPG, an AK-47, and a slingshot. Of course, the marmot was utterly outmatched, and was beaten (how else) by a roundhouse kick to the skull. The fight had driven Chuck Norris into a blood rage, and he began launching fierce attacks on all the old people in sight. This was a cause of minor alarm, so the chicken decided to walk back to his apartment. He was about 30 feet from the entrance when he was tagged in the head by a pea, by which I mean a cannonball. The cannonball rocketed him across the street.

Technically, the chicken never made it across the street, because he was hit by a speeding car driven by a drunken Mel Gibson.

RadoGoji · #21 August 10th, 2006, 11:01 PM

There was a party he needed to go to. It just happened to be on the other side of the road.

Zardac the Great · #22 August 30th, 2006, 12:48 AM

And he was running from my nukes...

Ultimate goji · #23 September 2nd, 2006, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster pear

What's your answer to the question? I don't want to read "to get to the other side", that is too simple. You could post up to three answers at once, my answers would have to be:

1. It was being chased by Gojira

2. It's head was fried and could not see where it was going

3. Fido the dog was staring at it

What's your answer to the eternal question?

PS: Yay! 260 posts!

This place is awesome!

DUH! its just obvious, it wanted to get to the other side to avoid a meteorite sent by a new kind of alien that hated chickens but were afraid of crossing earths road... DUH!