Kaijuphile Support Centre

[Raptor]

Originally Posted by Father Estaban Cortez

FINALLY some tips from a female point of view, I appraise you. Not to say I dont appreciate more experienced guys but girls know best... I wonder why.

Could it be that the gals are looking you guys over also?

Simply put: BE REAL AND BE YOU!
China said it best IMO, especially about showing interest in THEIR opinions, thoughts, feelings, hobbies, etc. This should at least get you both on the same wavelength which is always a good starting point, especially if your so-called buds might have supposedly "clued you in" about a person. FIND OUT FOR YOURSELF and get to know each other. You might find you have things in common you can build on. In the meanwhile, forget about what everyone else is up to. It should just be the two of you or a group of close friends who no doubt share the same interests to begin with.

[Cosmos]

"....the gals are looking you guys over also?"

It's True...I think my girlfriend pulls the over the shoulder butt stare more than I do...

I'm sorry if this is offensive to anyone...but my freinds and I have a method of screening possible candidates we call
'Worth the Headache' ... now this does NOT denote that all women are headaches... How ever I've come to learn some personality qualities that I don't like... though I may be wrong...I can usually tell which girl would be a possible candidate for a relationship...
making her 'worth the headache'.....
It's a first fate or first meeting kind of scale...
I look for what I call Red Flags
- signs of low self esteem (we all have it... it's how we deal with it.)
- Emotional Baggage (Same here)
- Dependancy
- or dramatically different politics or values
these are basically various "headaches"... and many girls are worth it...hence... Worth the Headache.
it is slightly derogitory... but it is meant to be a light and humourous manner of making us more selective.
Because as Raptor said, girls could be out looking too.
I'm mentioning this, because thinking of yourself as hunted as opposed to the hunter may help your chi.



The golden rule is also applicable,
Consider what you'd like to find another person, and cultivate that in yourself.
Conversly, beware behaviour that you would find unatractive in others.


And I said this before... but it's important to remember not to confuse confidence with arrogance.

[Gorjirus]

Well, one thing that I need support for is that my mother was rediagnosed with cancer. She has lymphoma and will have to undergo chemo therapy and radiation again. This saddens me greatly because we all thought that her cancer had been beat for good last time when she was told she was in remission a couple of years ago.

[baragon2005]

I guess my biggest problem is that my cousin is in the air force, and even though he hasn't learned how to fly yet (to my knowledge), I really don't want him to go to Iraq. I'm against Bush and I know that I have to live through four more years of this foreign invasion bs and even after that, there's a big threat of him going to Iraq or even Afghanistan or whatever. So, I guess that's my biggest problem now. I don't want to tear up this thread, so if anyone has political beliefs different from mine, keep it to yourself. Sorry if I caused any trouble by doing so.

[godofPH]

ayeee, god I don't know whats wrong with me. I've been having these angry mood swings that get me thinking about doing very brutal, violent actions. Thing is in real life, I'm not usually violent. I'm usually a peaceful person that keeps to my self. The one human I hate more than anybody has yet again stolen a girl from me. This is the second time this year. This anger I have swinging in and out is really intense and hard to contain.

[godofPH]

Originally Posted by Gorjirus

^ Then have a piece of hard cold advice that if you take it to heart, will help you, but only if you have a VERY open mind.

Remember that it really doesn't matter. It is just a couple of girls. Will it matter in 5 years? 10? 25? Don't forget that. It doesn't really matter. Why let ONE guy get you so upset and violent when in five or ten years it won't mean a thing.


On a much sadder note, my mother had her first chemotherapy treatment today...

Yeah, but the inner demons that were tormenting me today led me to the point of violence. I slammed him into a wall. I was going to give him the beating of his life after school but he ran away to his folks. I don't worry about the future. I worry about the thoughts plagueing my head now.

But I hope your mom makes it through Gojirus.

And Rex, I'm not a wuss. Read what I said above.

[Gorjirus]

Thank you for your thoughts.


Hopefully your actions won't have any long term effects on your life. I just urge you to think more about the future, as that is what will help you the most. The present is fleeting, so don't worry about it too much. Just try to keep your demons under control. I know how hard that can be, as I have them as well, but you have to learn to reel them in, to tame them and use them to your own purposes. It can be done. Let them out when needed. But remember, you still have a long time to live, and in 5, 10 years none of this will matter. Control the demons, don't let them control you.

[godofPH]

^ I'll just settle the score for now and then forget about it. I'm much calmer than I was yesterday and I'm not as prone to detatch the dude's head. I'll just relflect on it for the weekend and then end it (for the good or bad) on Monday. Fists or not, it ends monday. But I'm not going to kill anyone.

[godofPH]

Originally Posted by Cole Deschain

Well, just remember, should it come to blows, provide medical attention as soon as you've finished. It looks much better from a legal standpoint.

Legal=Law. Law is not taken seriously here. Butit wouldn't be much more than bruises and crap like that.

[Raptor]

You would be surprised. There are both civil and criminal issues that come to mind. The victim could sue you as well as file an assault/battery, etc. complaint with the police. A cop could witness the fight and haul you both in for violating laws against such activity. Forget the "juvenile" justice system. The offense still occurs, only considered of a lesser degree due to the participants SUPPOSEDLY not knowing any better becuase of their age and immaturity.
I'd also like to see the school and parents get their say, be it a month's grounding, trip to the woodshed AND detention in school. So what if it occurred off the grounds. You are now a member of that body and should also be accountable to them. And it does reflect badly on the institution.

Law is not taken seriously here.

I'm sure the Chamber of Commerce can use THAT line....

[Raptor]

I highly recommend the nearest Support Centre for any and all of our members who may have been unduly traumatized (Monster Master, for one!) by this fandom's annual April inaugural "fun fest", most commonly known as April Fool's Day.

[Cookson]

Originally Posted by Gorjirus

I actually have a pit of good news. My mother's cancerous mass is no longer there according to a CT Scan she had Monday. She will still undergo the rest of her treatments, but it is still good news.

That is good news!!!!

[Raptor]

Thanks for keeping us posted, Gorjirus! Good news like that is the BEST kind to make everyone's day happier.

[Emperor Violenjiger]

A friend of mine, is hooking me up with one of her friends... We're going to see a movie tomorrow... How does one, such as myself, present themselves in a likable fashion and still remain true to their own individual personalities? Help me out, gang.

[Gorjirus]

Lucky devil you.... *nudge nudge*

Well, first off, remember to prepare before hand. Brush your teeth, that sort of thing. That always helps, and I HOPE that stays true to yourself.

Were what you usually do, just see if you have a shirt that's not wrinkled.

Just try to be relaxed, and think of what she is most likely thinking. That way it prevents uneccesary embaressment.

Good luck!

[Trauma]

Well unless this is an official date, just act normal.


But the most important thing to do is be confident...And don't be down if she is one of those snooooty preps....I hate hook-ups myself...

[Saruman]

Originally Posted by Emperor Violenjiger

A friend of mine, is hooking me up with one of her friends... We're going to see a movie tomorrow... How does one, such as myself, present themselves in a likable fashion and still remain true to their own individual personalities? Help me out, gang.

BE YOURSELF!!!!!

Don't change who you are just for someone you haven't met. Clean yourself up, dress appropiately for the afternoon/evening and just talk to her like a normal person. Remember she is a person and wants to be treated as one, but be courteous as well. If you are driving to the theater open her door so she can get into the car, if you go out to eat pull out her chair for her to sit down, at the end of the night walk her to her door. Just simple common courtesy and being yourself should be all that you need.

If you try to act like someone you are not, then your just going to make a fool of yourself and she may end up liking you for the wrong reasons. Which would be way worse later on, that is for sure.

[Raptor]

"Blind date", I gather, where you two haven't previously met? This is going to be where FIRST IMPRESSIONS really count. For starts, do not PRESUME anything about someone you have never met before. You might also want to be a bit more "reserved" than you usually are but I'm just guessing here. Pay attention to what she has to say. This indicates interest in her rather than just yourself having a good time. Remember that SHE ALSO will no doubt be considering these same things. If things get too awkward/quiet, smile and laugh at the impasse. That should break the ice and get things back on track and more relaxed.
If you have a bunch of matchmaking firends, leave your cell phone turned OFF. That little bit of advice is compliments of our Mayor. See the "Getting your hometown in a movie" topic in the Non-Kaiju Movie Chat. Hope Ronda Rich isn't going to be around or she'll write a book about it.
Other than that, BOTH OF YOU have a great time, have fun and TRY to relax. I'm betting you'll do just fine myself!

[Emperor Violenjiger]

Well, I acted normal and stayed true to myself. Recieved a hug before the night was over. Boo-Yeah. My friends told me I did good, although I'm still a little unsure myself. LOL.

Other than that, BOTH OF YOU have a great time, have fun and TRY to relax.

Boo-Yeah, big group of nine. We all went to see the new film, XXX: State of Union, because we couldn't get in to "House of Wax." I did not like the first xXx, with Vin Diesel, this one was better... more interesting.

And don't be down if she is one of those snooooty preps

Preps make me sick.... I want to puke just thinking about them... LOL, its even worse when I see them in public. I garantee it!

Well, first off, remember to prepare before hand. Brush your teeth, that sort of thing. That always helps, and I HOPE that stays true to yourself.

Brushed my teeth, got a shower, washed my face and changed clothing from red skull sweater to black Metallica sweater. LOL, sound fair enough?

[Gorjirus]

Brushed my teeth, got a shower, washed my face and changed clothing from red skull sweater to black Metallica sweater. LOL, sound fair enough?

Sounds like it worked fair enough. Congradulations.

[Evil alla Pure]

I remember the days when love was a stupid emotion that held back the ultimate power. My little man is growing up so fast. *tears* lol. Just kidding with you. Sounds like a job well done.

[Emperor Violenjiger]

There might be a second get together, Friday. Probably go to the big mall, inside of the movies... anyways... more advice and suggestions from the local members and staff around here would be, um, helpful. Going by what you know... how can we make this Friday better than last (if it happens...?)?

[Gorjirus]

Remember to take money, so you can at least offer to pay for somethings.

[Cosmos]

...the majority of responses of "relax and be yourself" is true.. and yet, sometimes a little nervous anxiety can be charming... I often allow myself to indulge a little.. very little of my nervousness.. (it usually happens automatically) on dates, and my date finds it complimenting... danger! like tabasco sauce..small amounts big effect... What Im trying to say, is don't worry if you get nervous or anxious or clumsy, if you get that way.. its because you like this girl and its important to let her know that.....and I side tracking? I think I am..

it's good to have some cash, indeed... but my advice most of all considering your low oppinion of preps and such and how this date is in the mall.. don't show your negative feelings too strong too fast..
when Im in the mall I can get very agitated and hostile.. and as such I get pretty ugly to people...
chill and be zen.. and sincerely enjoy her company..

[Bigmatt]

OK the Mall here's your chance to score big points later. Keep yourself aware of everything she's checking out and comments on. Obviously if its something she really likes she'll comment more on it, but if its just something she thinks is kinda cool pay close attention. If she mentions she likes something non-chalontly ( Probably misspelled) make sure you take note. If you show up with it a few weeks later, it will mean alot, because it shows that you actually are paying attention to her. Girls love that sort of thing.

Don't worry man, myself and I sure some of the older married guys on the forum have long learned to tune out most of what our wives are saying and yet still pick up on little things like this, someday you will learn too, but since this is still your first couple of dates with her focus. Don't be overly nervous about analyzing ever sentence but keep and ear out.

This point leads to another aspect of this date that will be different from the mocie date. Conversation. You guys probably talked some before and after the movie but very little during the movie. Now think about what apporoach works best for you in coversation. Are you funny you could use humor, Are you informative about a common intrest you two might have that would catch her attention IE bands, TV whatever, play that angle. But over all keep your cool, a little nervousness is normal, but don't be afriad to talk. Obviosuly girls like dudes who can have a little give and take with them in a conversation.

Pitfalls to look out for at the Mall.

1) Your friends - If you run into a friend of yours when your at the mall. Be casual say Hi introduce her and the go about your way with her. When I was young I would often (And I know many others who would to) make the mistake of the "Group Date" I would often end up talking more to my friend then her, because he was a safe zone, someone I was comfortable with! Avoid this trap you are there with her not your boys. Now if she sees a group of friends she wants to hang out with grin and bear it.

2) Show her places you like to check out in the mall IE comic store, movie store, whatever, but don't hang out in there to long. Go in say I like this stuff because..... buy what you want and get out. She may not want to go the mall and spend the whole time in places you like. I only point this out again because places you like you may be drawn as safe zone, don't fall for this. Let her into your world of hobbies but don't lock her in it. Again if she takes you to a store you can't stand and spends the whole night there grin and bear.

This may seem like alot of info, but the biggest thing to keep in mind is confidence! Dating is like anything else in life if you believe you can suceed your half way there. Remember you're a cool, fun dude and there's no reason this girl should not like you (Just don't cross the line from confident to cocky, but I don't think you'll have that problem)!

Hope this helps.