United We Stand

[Mecha74]

Huge multi TV show and film crossover featuring characters from the following...

Supernatural
Buffy
Bones
Xena
Smallville
Angel
Kick-***
Let Me In
Constantine
Iron Man
Blade
Hellboy
Toho
Evil Dead
Underworld
Blood The Last Vampire
Red vs Blue


And tons of surprise cameos.








UNITED WE STAND





Somewhere in northern Ohio…

“Okay, so we know that we’re looking for a vampire.” Sam said as he and Dean drove down a rural road, the speedometer on the Impala pushing a mere 60 miles per hour. Dean always loved to make fun of Sam’s ‘granny driving’ as he called it.

“Yep, time to break out the stakes and crosses.”

“Uh, Dean. Both you and I know neither of those things work.”

“What? I ain’t allowed to crack a joke? If it’s good enough for Peter Cushing it’s good enough for me.”

“Yeah, well I don’t think our aliases were good enough for the paramedic to buy into.”

“In a world that has pretty much opened up to the idea of the supernatural I think fake I.D.s are the least of anyone’s worries. Besides, I’m sure Mick Jagger and Keith Richards wouldn’t mind.”

“Dude, I know that you love the novelty aliases and all, but maybe in the future we could try having names that aren’t quite so painfully conspicuous.”

“What fun would that be? Besides whose idea was it in Modesto to go by the names of ‘Agent Wedge’ and ‘Agent Antilles’?”

“That was different, we were in George *****’ hometown.”

“You are such a nerd.”

“I prefer the term socially challenged, besides you got no room to talk, ‘mister I‘ve seen every Hammer horror film and B movie ever made’. And don‘t even get me started on the whole Dr. Sexy M.D. thing.”.

“Just shut up and drive.” Dean grunted eliciting a broad grin from his brother.

“Do you believe what our witness had to say?” Sam asked.

“Not sure, being hysterical in a padded cell does kinda hurt his credibility a tad don’t it.”

“He said that the thing looked like a young girl, probably around 11 to 13 years old. Guess this vamp got turned at a young age.”

“Yeah, looks like we’re hunting Eddie Munster, that is if Eddie was a little girl anyway.”

“What about the other kid that was seen with her? Another vamp?”

“I would guess yes?”

“You ever heard of a vampire that could fly?”

“Nope.”

“How about you give Bobby a call?”

“Right.” Dean said as he dialed his cell phone.

“Ello.”

“Hey Bobby, it’s Dean.”

“No really idget? Cuz I never coulda figured that one out with the caller id and the sound of your voice and all.”

“Ha ha, very funny. Got a new one for ya.”

“Christ, what now? I’ve lost track of the number of new or foreign beasties you two have been turning up lately.”

“How about a new twist on an old favorite?”

“Such as?”

“A vampire that can fly.”

“What? Are you sure we’re dealing with a vampire?”

“Aside from the Peter Panning all signs point to yes.”

“Maybe it’s just a new monster that has some of the same traits?”

“Well, we’re on it’s trail now, so I guess we’ll find out. Can you see what you can dig up in the meantime?”

“You bet.”

“Thanks Bobby.” *click*

Bobby then returned to his kitchen table where two guests waited patiently.

“Does this mean our poker game is over?” Whistler asked with a smirk.

“Fraid so guys.”

“It’s just as well, I think Machete was cheating anyway.” Whistler jokingly accused getting the surly Mexican’s attention.

“Machete don’t cheat.” He said bluntly.

“Sure you don’t.” Whistler continued jabbing.

“You the one trying to heap the deck.”

“You can’t prove that.”

“I don’t have to.”

“Sounds like insecurity to me.”

“You the one bluffing with every hand.”

“Like Hell I am!”

“Now who’s insecure?”

“I am doing no such thing, I swear on my good leg.”

“You don’t have a good leg.”

“Don’t you have a lawn to go mow or something?”

Finally Bobby interrupted them, “Are you two finished with your little lover’s spat?” He teased in an annoyed fashion.

Finally things were quiet.

“Whistler, you and Blade make a living out of giving vamps the final dirt nap. Either of you ever ran into a vampire that could fly?”

“Not to the best of my knowledge, but there’s always the possibility of new strains of vampire infection with differing results among other things. Hell, Damaskinos was tinkering with genetic engineering for f**k’s sake. Possibilities are endless. So the boys are hunting a flying vampire?”

“Sounds like it, where’s Blade right now?”

“In L.A. tracking down the largest vampire nest on the West Coast.”

“Gotcha. Well, care to help me hit the books?” Bobby asked as Whistler and Machete both cocked an eyebrow.

*********

At that moment, entering the planet’s orbit…

A terrible malevolent force had returned to Earth. Its arrival signaled by a bright green luminescence in the upper stratosphere hovering over the United States that could be seen for countless miles. Baffled scientists were at a loss to find an explanation for the phenomena that was otherwise deemed completely harmless.

They had no way of knowing how wrong they were.

Meanwhile however, someone else was watching who knew full well what it represented. From his new and recently acquired estate in Boston, Crowley kicked back with a glass of single malt scotch aged nearly 500 years. It was a prime vintage but he still wasn’t sure if he liked it better than his old standby of 30 year old Craig. Here at his new mansion he allowed himself a brief respite from his frustrating attempts at being the King of Hell. ’Lucky the leprechaun’ the other demons called him behind his back, only as of late he hadn‘t felt very lucky. He liked it here though, and had learned from his previous mistakes. His former residence had been off the beaten path making it far more accessible to unwanted guests, as he had experienced the hard way. What remained of his former tailor was a stain in a priceless 2,000 year old Turkish rug that would probably never come clean. The only moderate saving grace was that it was the same rug that the Winchesters had already ruined with their devil’s trap. However even in its damaged state it was still priceless and worth enough money to buy Microsoft if he wanted to.

He thought back to a confrontation that took place over a year ago right after Lucifer had been dealt with when he had first began his search for the alphas…

*********

“Meg.” Crowley said jovially.

“Crowley.”

“Funny, you don’t look like an alpha ogre to me?”

“Oh there was one here, before we killed it of course.”

“Was that fun?”

“Verdict’s still out on that one. I had initially came here with allot more demons. They’re still here, and here, and there, and over there, and even up there,” She began to say pointing all over the place eventually looking up at the top of a tree as well, “Oh, and apparently right here.” she said pulling a tiny piece of entrail that she hadn’t realized was still clinging to her jean jacket.

“But hey, it wasn’t anything that an eighteen wheeler and a frag shell from a rocket launcher couldn’t fix.” She went on.

“And the demons I sent to round up the alpha?”

“Oh we let the ogre eat them before we killed it. We knew once you didn‘t hear back from them you‘d get curious. So we just laid low and waited.”

“Well good on you trollup. So to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“As if you even had to ask?”

There was a time when Meg always wore a smile, a time when she had a joke or one liner for every adversary or would be victim. She was a demon who loved being a demon and truly reveled in her unspeakable acts of torture and slaughter. But that was before the Winchesters and their allies ruined everything, and one whom she especially had a grievance with now stood before her.

“Still on the rag over the whole Lucifer thing I see.” Crowley said contemptuously.

“You helped put him back in his cell! You betrayed your own kind!” Meg fired back with a voice full of venom.

“Oh, now we’re back to pretending that there’s honor among thieves are we? We’re demons luv, there is no code of honor. We’re out for ourselves and no one else, that’s always been the case.”

“This was different! Our father was among us! He could’ve made this world a paradise for our kind!”

“Meg deary, I’m not going to waste my time trying to explain to a lovesick sodding **** like yourself what Lucifer’s real plan was. And more importantly I really couldn’t give a damn less.”

“Oh trust me you’re gonna care, and real fast.”

“Or you’ll do what exactly? Let’s see, I’m the king of the crossroads, and the new king of Hell. While you’re just a random little spunk stain of a demon that on her best day Lilith still wouldn’t even give the time of day to. So again I ask, what exactly are you going to do to me?”

“Not me.” Meg said before a chorus of barks, howls and snarls suddenly rang out as a pack of hellhounds surrounded Crowley.

Crowley cocked an eyebrow at this new development but kept his composure.

“How ironic, the so called master of the hellhounds rended limb from limb by them. It’s almost poetic. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Or in this case teeth and claws. When they‘re done with you all that will be left is kibbles and bits.” She grinned.

“Oh jee, you brought back up. Wish I’d thought of that. Oh wait a minute, I did.” Crowley declared as with a loud whistle his own massive hellhound came crashing through a nearby wall with a deafening roar. The hounds that were moments away from pouncing on Crowley quickly turned their attention to his monstrous pet. Meg’s confidence abruptly faltered and Crowley could see it in her face.

“Your move slag.” He challenged her.

For several moments no one moved, but finally the tension got the better of Meg and she bolted. At that same moment her pack tore into Crowley’s hellish canine. It was like watching a pack of wolves try to take down a grizzly bear. Meanwhile Meg rounded a corner only to run into Crowley.

“Trying to run from a teleporter, not the mark of a genius I must say.” He ridiculed as he outstretched his hand using his telekinesis to start crushing her windpipe.

“I hope you’ll pardon the Yankee reference but just call me Darth Crowley.” He joked.

But just then he got blasted by rock salt from the left and sprayed with holy water from the right as demons loyal to Lucifer and Meg came out of hiding, She had laid a trap.

A third demon charged Crowley with an iron war hammer from behind as it smacked hard into his skull knocking him to the ground. The hammer was continuously driven into his head disorienting him just long enough for the other demons to chain him to a chair. By the time he regained his senses he was immobilized and encircled by salt.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.” Meg confessed.

“A salt ring? Really?”

“May not be as flashy or artistic as a devil’s trap but it still keeps where I want you and from teleporting.”

“So now you’ve got me, but what pray tell are you going to do with me? Seeing how you don’t have anything that can actually kill me.”

“Well, ya know today we’re going to test that theory.” She answered as a loud beeping sound caused Crowley to look to his left as a large salt truck backed up toward him, the kind used to salt roads during the winter, “You know I really don’t know how much salt a demon can actually take. Never wanted to know before now actually. Normally our kind just bails but since you can’t this should prove very enlightening. Thanks for being such a good little guinea pig.” She finished in baby talk as the truck stopped next to where Crowley was sitting.

“Dump it!” she ordered as the truck heaved back burying Crowley as he winced.

The demon in the truck got out and rejoined the others as they looked on, but suddenly the salt mound Crowley was buried in exploded showering all of them as they screeched in pain. Crowley had used his telekinesis to free himself as he rose up out of the mound extricated of his bondage and looking none too happy.

“Do you have any idea how much this suit cost?!” He spat as Meg and her followers watched with panic filled eyes.

Before any of them could do anything Crowley used his pyrokinesis to set Meg’s henchmen ablaze as they started wailing in misery. He then pointed his hand at Meg like a gun.

“Bang!” He said as a telekinetic punch sent her smashing through a wooden fence, after which he blew on the end of his index finger.

“You know, that might have actually worked if I were still a, oh what was it that Dean once said? Oh yes, a punkass crossroads demon. But I’m a different man now cow. And you’re about to be in different pieces.”

As Meg got back up she suddenly heard a rumbling growl behind her that signaled the arrival of Crowley’s hellhound.

Desperate and out of options Meg was forced to abandon her body as she screamed to the heavens, her twisted black essence billowing out of her mouth and up into the sky.

“Ta ta sweetness, we’ll have to do this again sometime.” Crowley yelled after her.

Crowley’s beast had eviscerated most of Meg’s pack with only a couple of wounded survivors getting away. What remained of the rest wasn’t even enough to fill a doggie bag. Crowley walked up to the loyal devil dog that he affectionately referred to as ’his pup’ and patted him on the head.

“Good boy!” he said with a wicked smile.

The giant hellhound had sustained some nasty injuries of its own, but nothing that wouldn’t heal in time.

Nearby some of Meg’s henchmen twisted and writhed across the ground burnt practically beyond recognition. They had been injured too severely to summon the strength to vacate their bodies as some of the others had.

“You know what? I think you deserve a doggie treat. Extra crispy! Sick em boy!” Crowley commanded as his hound tore into the already agonized demons.

********

But that was then and this was now, and here among the densely populated and brightly lit streets of Boston, Crowley could rest easy. Demons always hated drawing more attention to themselves than they needed to, and none of them had come for him since he settled here. He had been watching a documentary about the Third Reich on his 150” inch plasma tv when it was abruptly interrupted by the special news broadcast.

“Ah well, a demon’s work is never done.” He said as he downed the last of his scotch and then stood up.

With a snap of his fingers the TV shut off and he teleported out of sight.

*******

Bethel, Maine, near the Androscoggin River.

With a solid thud Buffy flew back hitting a tree hard before slumping down, the wind sufficiently knocked out of her. Nearby Rufus Turner continuously pumped shots from a 10 gauge shotgun into a towering roaring 15 foot behemoth as it advanced on them. They had come to Maine looking for a creature known as Katahdin. Needless to say, they had found it, and it was pissed.

“Buffy, are you okay?!” Rufus yelled as he reloaded and fired again.

“Yeah!” She yelled back springing back up and doing a somersault burying her mystical scythe into the left collarbone of the beast before bounding away.

Suddenly from behind Selene flipped into view firing twin Heckler UMP submachine guns into the monster’s back. Angrily it turned ripping a tree loose with a right paw swing that only missed her by inches as she dodged out of the way. A moment later Michael charged forward fully transformed hoping to utilize brute strength to topple their monstrous foe. But even in his hybrid form he found himself bouncing off Katahdin as if he had ran into a living mountain. With a furious bellow the giant aberration tried to crush Michael who sidestepped at the last second and then climbed up the massive brute. Once perched next to its head Michael ripped a sizeable hunk of flesh from the left side of its face with a claw swipe. However this seemingly only served to further enrage the titan who reached up and wrenched him back down smashing him into the ground.
It was then that Saya landed atop the creature’s head shoving her sword down through it’s right collarbone before yanking it back out and jumping away. As she did she dislodged Buffy’s scythe and threw it back to her. A well placed shot from Rufus took out one of its eyes as it howled with a rage filled pain staggering back. Taking advantage of it’s momentary loss of balance Buffy, Selene and Saya rushed up into a leap as they connected with a simultaneous physical strike while Michael slammed hard into the back of the goliath’s legs finally knocking Katahdin down. However the mutant reared back up sending all four of them tumbling through the forest with a brutal backhand.

“Oh s#!t!” Rufus swore as the nightmarish thing lumbered toward him. The veteran hunter pumped more shells into the hulking freak of nature, but so much damage had already been done to its torso that there was barely anything left keeping its insides contained and still it kept coming. In its attempts to kill Rufus it took out huge trees as if its arms were giant chainsaws with the hunter barely escaping death time and again. But at one point Rufus tripped and fell and Katahdin reached down scooping him up apparently intending to shove him into his jaws. But as he was brought up to the monster’s face he quickly pulled a knife and in one swift fluid motion completely sliced off its bottom jaw! Rufus then shoved his left hand into Katahdin’s wounded eye causing it to scream out in agony dropping him in the process.

Just then Selene appeared behind the colossus. Having the fastest healing factor and the greatest superhuman strength she had recovered first. She further demonstrated this as she punched her right fist into Katahdin’s back and ripped out a piece of its spinal column! She was expecting the attack in question to paralyze the beast but the vertebrae she tore out resulted in only partial paralysis as the right side of the monster suddenly went numb and dead. That however didn’t prevent the unnatural animal from awkwardly turning and giving the bewildered immortal a nasty swipe that sent her smashing clean through a tree cleaving it in two. It then proceeded to continue moving, using its remaining good leg to try to drag and limp back toward Rufus, its right leg shuffled behind it and its right arm dangled uselessly at its side. Meanwhile though Buffy and Saya were waiting as they both used their magical blades to slice through a gigantic redwood that began to teeter as Michael ran up and gave it the push it needed to fall where they wanted it to. In its crippled condition Katahdin couldn’t move fast enough to get out of its path as it crashed down on top of him. With the use of only one half of its body and thusly half its strength, it was effectively pinned down. Saya was atop the creature in a heartbeat shoving her sword through it’s jugular vein while Buffy drove her scythe directly into its brainpan. Finally…it was dead.

Michael was transforming back into his human form and walking toward Rufus when he noticed the knife he was cleaning.

“Is that a…ginzu?”

“Yea.” Rufus answered.

“You used a ginzu knife on that thing?”

“What?” Rufus said defensively.

“Nothing. I guess I was just expecting something endorsed by Rambo, not Eversharp kitchen appliances. You know, something more practical?”

“Practical? Let me tell you something boy, those 3AM infomercials didn’t lie. The ginzu really will cut through anything.” Rufus boasted.

Michael just turned away trying to stifle a laugh as Selene finally rejoined them.

“You okay?” Michael asked.

“Fine, I just had to wait for the shattered vertebrae in my neck to heal and realign before I could move again.”

“Christ!” Michael said in shock and awe.

“Must be nice to be damn near un-killable.” Buffy teased with a slight hint of jealousy.

“Well, if it wasn’t for Alexander Corvinus’ blood pumping through my veins I would be dead, an attack like that would’ve killed me once.”

Nearby Saya stood silently saying nothing, she wasn’t the kind for small talk.

“Ugh, I’m getting too old for this.” Rufus grumbled to no one in particular.

“Are you okay?” Buffy asked him.

“Just peachy.”

“Thanks for calling us up on this, I know it ain’t easy for you to ask for help.” Buffy told him.

“Yeah, Bobby could tell you plenty about that.”

“I’m sure he could.”

“Not that I’m complaining but wouldn’t you normally contact other hunters for a job like this? I mean it would certainly be more convenient for you wouldn’t it?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah, but every hunter I know is tied up currently. We’ve had a huge influx of monster activity here in the States that I just can’t explain.”

“Sounds like you guys are being spread pretty thin.” Buffy noticed.

“Yeah, that we are. And unfortunately I’d say that right now the hunter mortality rate is even worse than it is for slayers.” Rufus boasted, but it was a boast he was far from proud of.

The aged hunter let out a tired sigh before speaking again.

“All I want to do now is go home and get plastered to the point that I won’t even think about how sore I’m going to be tomorrow morning.”

Just then a helicopter came down for a landing nearby.

“Looks like our ride is here.” Michael observed as they all walked toward the chopper save Rufus who started back toward his truck.

“Take care of yourself Rufus!” Buffy yelled after him trying to be heard over the noise of the copter.

“You too slayer!” He called back.

As they all climbed in Buffy thought back to before they left when they first got Rufus’ call…

********

With a hearty yell Kennedy threw a series of punches and kicks that would have shattered concrete…that is if they had connected. Her target however artfully dodged each attempted strike. On one particular swing Kennedy’s fist was caught as her combatant pinched a particular nerve in her wrist that instantly froze her in a spasm of pain before flipping her through the air into a judo throw that led into an armbar. Despite Kennedy’s greater strength any attempt to move on her part was met with more painful resistance as the bending and extension of her arm and elbow joint effectively immobilized her.

Finally after much useless effort and wincing Kennedy angrily submitted.

“Alright I give!” She shouted as her sparring partner released her and she got up with a frustrated huff.

“Not bad Kennedy, you’re getting better.” Xena told her.

“One of these days I will beat you.” Grumbled the slayer as she rejoined her peers.

“Alright class? Why did I beat her?”, Xena asked loudly to a gathered group of slayers in the training room, “She is a slayer after all. She was stronger and faster, so what happened?”

Xena got no response.

“I’ll tell you what happened. She got cocky. She got cocky and she relied on her slayer powers alone to just push her way through. Simply charging in guns blazing may work fine when you’re fighting mindless monsters but if you come up against an enemy that is intelligent. That is trained or skilled in means of hth combat, everything changes. The stronger warrior isn’t always the victor. And I quote, all warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him. Sun Tzu: The Art Of War, 380 B.C. That’s all for today class, you are dismissed.” Xena concluded.

“Fantastic job Giles, I’m glad you got Xena to agree to be our slayer training coach”, Buffy began to say watching from the sidelines, “And the slayers seem to enjoy having her as one.”

“You mean besides Kennedy?” Giles observed with a half smile that Buffy shared.

“Is it wrong that I enjoy watching Xena mop the floor with her?”

“Probably.”

“Eh, no one’s perfect. So how are Michael, Seline and Saya adjusting to their new surroundings?”

“Rather well actually.”

“Despite the fact that the B.P.R.D. probably want your head on a stick?”

“Well, there is that. Perhaps if they treated their operatives a little better there wouldn’t be so many of them ready to jump ship. You would think they would’ve learned that from the whole Hellboy debacle.”

“Maybe if you were running the show they wouldn’t have that problem.”

“An intriguing idea, but as the head of the new Watcher’s Council my plate is rather full I’d say.”

“Hey Buffster?” Xander called out walking up to her and Giles.

“Hey Xander what’s up?”

“We just got a call from Rufus Turner.”

“A hunter? We haven’t heard from any of them in a while.” Buffy responded.

“He needs some help hunting something in the U.S. apparently. Should we dispatch a group?”

“Yes of course.” Giles replied as he and Xander began an exchange of their own.

“Who should lead it?”

“Is Violet available?”

“She’s in Istanbul currently.”

“Gina?”

“Currently on a mission in Africa.”

“How about Rona? She needs some field time?”

“I’ll go.” Buffy suddenly said interrupting them.

“Really, you sure?” Xander asked in surprise.

“Yea, I’ve been cooped up too long anyway, I could use the exercise.”

“Who do want to take with you?” Giles threw in.

“I’ll take Kennedy, just so she doesn’t try to kill Xena in her sleep.”

“Who else?”

“How about we give our new arrivals some breathing room?”

“Sounds good to me.” Xander said.

“I concur.” Giles agreed.

A short time later Buffy was retrieving the mystical scythe from her room when a voice suddenly spoke behind her.

“A slayer’s work is never done eh?” Xena spoke.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Trust me I remember those days.”

“That’s part of why I’m glad that you’re a part of the team. We need your experience to help fine tune us, make us even better than we are now. You’re like the undisputed queen of butt kicking babes. Like we’re all jedi and your Master Yoda, only not so short and not wrinkly and stuff.”

“I’m glad you finished that sentence the way you did.” Xena smiled jokingly.

“So am I, I don’t want to end up like Kennedy after all.” Buffy confessed with a sheepish grin.

“Buffy I appreciate the admiration, but perhaps you shouldn’t sell yourself so short.”

“I would never compare myself to the legendary warrior princess of the Xena Scrolls. Heck you’ve died even more times than I have.”

“Perhaps, but at the age you were activated as a slayer I hadn’t even picked up a sword yet. The things you’ve done, what you’ve accomplished in such a short time is nothing short of amazing my dear. I look into your future and see you becoming more mythical and legendary than even me. In a thousand years you‘ll be the warrior that history recalls with grandeur and renown.”

“Cept that nobody knows about most of it.”

“Well, then maybe I’ll be the one who writes it?”

“The Buffy Scrolls?”, Buffy pondered aloud for a moment, “Still doesn’t sound as cool as yours.”

“We’ll make it work.” Xena laughed.

*******

Evergreen cemetery, Los Angeles California

John Constantine stood before a headstone, quietly thinking back on what led him to where he was now. In recent years this had become a regular ritual that he was none too pleased about. Every time he wanted to go visit an old friend, he had to come here to see them. Hennessy, Beeman, Chas and now…Angela.

“If only I had been a few seconds quicker…I could’ve saved you. For what it’s worth Angela…I’m sorry.” He said aloud.

“She knows John.” A voice suddenly said behind Constantine as he spun around to see his former sidekick Chas Kramer, his angelic wings unfolding about him.

“Chas? Man, you have got to stop doing that.”

“Hello John, how have you been?”

“How do you think?”

“She doesn’t blame you John.”

“Maybe she doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean I still don’t blame myself.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I should’ve been there.”

“You did the best that you could.”

“Why Chas? Why does everyone I care about have to keep dieing all around me? Why do people, good people that I know are better than me and deserve to live so much more than I do have to be the ones to die?”

“In life there are some things that we have no control over. The Lord works-”

“Oh don’t hand me that BS, especially with what we both know is going on up there right now!”

“Nonetheless you know what I mean. You of all people especially.”

“So what brings you down here? I’m sure you didn’t just stop by for a friendly chat. I’m surprised you would even come down here with the whole civil war going on up in heaven and such.”

“Normally I wouldn’t. But I’m here to warn you that something has arrived here on Earth, something terrible.”

“What is it?”

“Truth is I’m not entirely sure. Whatever it is possesses so much power that we sensed it coming before it even fully entered our part of the universe.” Chas sighs deeply before continuing, “In the aftermath of the Winchester fiasco both Heaven and Hell are in complete disarray. Things aren’t any better down there than they are in Heaven. And whatever this thing is, it knows that.”

“That’s why it’s coming back now.”

“That’s what we think.”

“I’ll see what I can dig up.”

“No more melancholy?”

“No need. Everyone that mattered to me is already dead, I got nothing left to lose.”

*******

Elsewhere…

“And if I say yes to you, you’ll cure my mother?” A young boy of the age of 14 asked.

“100% cancer free. You have my word on it.” Crowley promised.

“What do I have to give you again?”

“Don’t even worry about it right now laddie. All it mean is that in 10 years I’ll need a little something from you that’s all.”

“What?”

“Trust me you’ll never miss it.”

“What if my family moves between now and then, what if something happens to me during that time?”

“Oh don’t worry, I always keep a close eye on my investments Jimmy boy. So do we have a deal?”

Jimmy started to speak but then suddenly seemed unsure. Crowley noticed the apprehension in the boy’s eyes.

“What’s wrong bucko? Don’t you want your mother to by healthy again?”

“Yea, I do. But…”

“But what?”

“Something doesn’t seem right about this.”

“Look Jimmy, I understand you’re nervous, but didn’t I already prove to you that I was a magic man, I’ve shown you what I can do haven’t I? Just think about it. No more pain or suffering for your mum. Things can go back to the way they were, before she got diagnosed. And she’ll live a long and happy life. Isn’t that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Well, Jimmy, the ball is in your court. What’s it going to be?”

After some deliberation on the child’s part he finally gave his answer, “Yes.”

*******

On the copter ride back to a temporary HQ Buffy decided to approach Saya.

“Would it kill you to crack a smile once in a while, geez you make Seline seem cheerful and trust me that is bad.” Buffy joked.

Saya however gave no response.

“There’s more to life than just killing things you know? Even Selene has started to figure that out” Buffy prodded on looking over at Selene and Michael sitting together side by side.

“Harrison used to say the same thing to me.” Saya finally answered.

“Ever consider that maybe he was right?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because what you say only applies to normal people.”

“And what? It doesn’t apply to you because you’re not human? Oh please, no one in this chopper is human. I’m a slayer created from demon blood who has come back from the dead twice, Selene is a like a friggin super saiyan vampire, Michael is a vampire werewolf hybrid and the pilot is a skin walker.”

“No…because I ripped my lover’s throat out with my bare hands.” Saya proclaimed as Buffy went silent, “My mother was Onigen, queen of the langsuir clan of vampires, an evil murderous demon in every sense of the word. And the day I killed the man I loved more than my own life I proved I was no better.”

“If he were still alive I would introduce you to one of my ex-boyfriends. Does the name Angelus or Angel mean anything to you?” Buffy asked as Saya looked over her shoulder at her.

“Yep. Formerly one of the most notorious vampires in all of Europe. He was cursed with a soul and then fought for his own redemption, eventually becoming a soldier for the powers that be. If he could seek redemption for his unspeakable acts…why can’t you?”

Just then though a panicked call came in over the helicopter’s radio.

“Buffy, it’s Kennedy.” The pilot told her as the slayer put a headset on.

“Kennedy?”

“Buffy, something has happened, something bad, you need to get back here as fast as you can!” She spoke worriedly.

“What?”

“It’s…it’s Willow.” She tried to say without breaking down.

“What’s happened?!”

“She‘s in a coma, you need to get here fast! I‘ll explain the rest then.”

“How fast can this thing fly?!” Buffy asked the pilot anxiously.

“Max speed is 350 mpr.”

“Gun it!” Buffy demanded.

*******

Back in Ohio, in a run down abandoned house.

Abby let out an inhuman howl as she began to vomit blood and convulse violently upon the floor. A jug she had begun to drink out of was lying nearby and spilling everywhere.

Wh-what is this?” She growled in a deep voice as she struggled to get back up.

“It It’s pig’s blood.” Owen stuttered.

“I can’t drink this!” She screamed.

“I’m, I’m sorry, I just thought I could find something else for you to live on. So that you wouldn’t have to kill people anymore.” Owen confessed in a pleading voice.

“I need human blood!” She roared as she rose up causing Owen to shrink back in terror as he huddled down against the wall fearing Abby’s wrath, her blood soaked teeth bared and her yellow eyes glowing.

In an instant she stopped, realizing what she had done. She then suddenly became aware of a wetness that was staining her cheeks. She was crying…she didn’t even know she still could. The only pain worse than the hunger that tormented her being was the thought of hurting Owen, of seeing that kind of fear in his eyes, fear of her.

She then rushed to Owen wrapping her arms around him tightly.

“Owen, please forgive me! I’m so sorry, I never meant to scare you. When the hunger comes over me, I practically lose my mind.”

“So, so you don’t hate me?” Owen sobbed with tears streaming down his face as well.

“Never.” She swore to him as she embraced him even tighter. For the longest time they just sat there and held one another.


********

Washington D.C.

A local diner/café was the scene of a massacre that barely left the majority of its victims intact enough to able to tell what they once were. One of the bodies however was still mostly intact…if you ignore the fact that it was missing both it’s skin and muscles.

Seeley Booth surveyed the mutilation around him with a profound sense of dread. In his life time he had seen his share of disgusting and morbid things both as a soldier as well as in this line of work. But there was something about this case that unnerved him. It was a portent of something terrible, he could feel it in his gut. Noticeably shaken, Booth dropped to his knees in one of the few spots of the diner that wasn’t drenched in blood and entrails. Kneeling nearby Bones was closely scrutinizing the body, her concerns mirrored Booth’s.

“Booth we need to get this body back to the Jeffersonian right no-.”, She stopped in mid-sentence when she saw him knelt in silent prayer.

She slowly got up and walked over to him placing a hand upon his shoulder as she waited for him to finish.

Booth muttered something under his breath, but all Temperance caught was the word ‘monster’.

“What?” Bones asked.

“What kind of monster could’ve done this?” He answered.

“I don’t believe in monsters Booth.”

“Nothing human did this.”

“While it is true that we live in a world full of unique new wonders. Creatures, animals and life forms that were once dismissed as fiction, fantasy and folklore, there is I am sure a logical and rational explanation for all of them…including this one.”

“Logical? Rational?” He began to say as he stood back up, “Does anything about this look logical or rational to you?” He finished as they beheld the gory holocaust before them.

[Mecha74]

“Abby?” Owen asked as he lie next to her upon the floor.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Do you ever miss it?”

“Miss what?”

“Being human.”

“I suppose. The truth is it’s kinda hard to remember that far back anymore.”

“Did you…did you choose to become a vampire?”

After a long pause she finally answered, “No.”

“Is there anyway for you to go back to being a person again?”

“There is a cure, but only for newly turned vampires that haven’t fed for the first time yet.”

“Why didn’t you take it?”

“Because I didn’t learn about it until years after I was turned.”

“So there’s no cure?”

“No.”

“If there was a way, would you want to?”

Another moment of silence followed, “I don’t know. I‘ve been this way for so long, I don‘t know if I would even know how to act human anymore.”

“Why? Do you want to kill people?”

“It isn’t about wanting or killing. I am what I am Owen, and I need to feed to survive.”

“But if there was another way…would you use it?”

“…..Yes.”

With that out of the way Owen had one more probing question that he needed to get off his chest.

“Abby?”

“Yes.”

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Sure.”

“That picture that I found in your room back in New Mexico?”

“What about it?”

Owen suddenly grew nervous, his breath quivering in a manner that only Abby with her enhanced senses could hear. It told her that he was afraid to ask what he was about to.

“You don’t have to be scared Owen. I already know what you want to ask me.”

“You do?”

“Yes. You want to know if the child in the picture with me was the man who you thought was my dad.”

Despite Abby’s reassurance Owen hesitated yet again before being able to speak.

“Wa-was he?”

After some time, Abby finally answered, “Yes.”

Owen’s only reaction was silence.

“What’s wrong?” Abby asked finally rolling over to look at him, the concern upon her face both obvious and sincere.

“Is that going to be me someday? Will I have to kill for you like he did?” Owen asked apprehensively.

“It scares you doesn’t it?”

“Yes!” Owen blurted out abruptly getting up.

Abby sat up not breaking eye contact with Owen as she read the worry in his eyes.

“Abby, I love you. But I, I…I can’t kill for you.”

“I love you too, and I would never ask you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable Owen.”

Owen then hung his head, as if the moral stance he had taken almost shamed him.

“I guess I’m not as strong as he was. Or that he loved you more than I do, since he was willing to do things I can‘t. I suppose you’re disappointed in me?”

“Never.” She said sternly as she leapt up and met his gaze, “ You saved my life Owen, I would be dead if not for you. I owe you my life and so much more. Never doubt that. All we have is each other, we need each other.”

“But you still need to feed.”

“Yes, you understand that, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Owen answered, with allot more confidence than he actually felt.

Owen wondered if Abby could tell he was lying. The memory of what happened to the cop back in New Mexico still haunted his nightmares. Owen may have been a child, and one with a far from perfect upbringing, but he still understood the basic concept of right and wrong. As much as he loved Abby…he was afraid, afraid for their future.

********

“So you’ll bring my big brother back?” A 9 year old girl asked.

“Absolutely sweetums.” Crowley replied with a wide grin.

“What about the man who shot him, the one that got away?”

“Just say the word and I’ll have the feds breaking down his door in the blink of an eye.”

“Okay, do it.”


********

At the Jeffersonian.

“Just when you think you’ve seen everything.” Camille said shaking her head.

“Man I can’t believe this! The skin and muscles were literally torn from the body! Do you have any idea just how much physical strength it takes to do that?” Hodges hooted excitedly.

“And do you have any idea just how wrong it is that you’re this ecstatic about it?” Angela added with a grimace.

“Defiantly looks like the work of a superhuman. Notice the actual finger tip indentations on the cervical vertebrae? This must be where a hand pushed through the flesh to gain a grip while the other hand stripped almost everything off the bones. Looks like the hand reached through from the front, considering we found slight remnants of the victim‘s windpipe crushed against the front of the axis.” Brennan explained.

“Wow, thanks for burning that visual into my brain forever. Does anyone else here remember the good old days when we handled normal murder cases?” Angela spoke half nauseous.

“Our cases have never been normal.” Booth chimed in.

“Fraid I have to side with Booth on that one.” Cam agreed.

“Yea Angela, besides, you hated those cases too.” Hodgins added.

“True, but compared to this?” She admitted with horror.

“What? This is awesome! Kills like this have opened an entirely new door of cases for us to solve.”

“Hodgins I love you, but I pray to God that our child isn’t nearly as excited by morbid things like this as you are.”

Just then however the sound of a flapping rustling wind gets everyone’s attention as they turn to see that a figure in a brown trench coat had suddenly appeared behind them.

“Uh, who are you and how did you get in here?” Cam asked with a look of surprise on her face that was matched by her friends.

“My name is Castiel and I have come to inspect the body.”

“Inspect the body? Are you another forensic scientist?” Bones queried.

“No, I’m an angel of the Lord.”

A stunned silence is the only response that Castiel got right away.

After a brief explanation…

So let me get this strait. You’re a real angel, as in harps, heavenly host and halos and all that?” Hodgins asked.

“We don’t have harps or halos.”

“Oh.”

“Bones, whatever you do don’t say anything blasphemous or condemning okay.” Booth whispered as they walked up to Castiel.

“Hi, pleasure to meet you, how can we be of assistance?” Booth said somewhat nervously as he rapidly shook Castiel’s hand.

“Like I said I just needed to see the bod-”

“Is there a God?” Bones interrupted as Booth’s eyes got as big as saucers.

“Excuse me?”

“I asked you if there is a God? If you are indeed an angel then you should be able to tell us right?”

“Yes, there is a God.”

“So you’ve seen him?”

“Well, no.”

“You haven’t seem him? Then how do you know there is one?” Bones continued grilling as Booth tried to interject himself into the exchange.

“She’s such a kidder. Don’t pay any attention to her she’s just goofy that way.” He stammered anxiously with a smile that conveyed more worry than levity.

“I’m completely serious and I want him to answer the question.”

“It is a matter of faith, only three angels have ever seen God’s true face.”

“So you have to take their word for it? What if they’re lying?” Bones accused as Castiel tilted his head up slightly still maintaining eye contact with her.

“You’re an atheist?”

“Yes. I don’t nor have I ever believed there was a God.”

“There is a God.” Castiel restated, this time with a slight tinge of annoyance to his voice.

“There’s no need to become defensive, that is unless deep down you realize that religion as a whole and all of its concepts are nothing more than a silly superstition used to attempt to justify existence for those who cannot cope with the harsh realities of life.”

At that moment Booth walked away.

“Booth? Booth where are you going?” Bones called after him.

“I’m waiting for the lightning to strike! I don’t plan on being near you when it hits!” he bellowed back. Just then Castiel grabbed Brennan’s hand startling her.

“What are you-”

“When you were just a child your parents disappeared. Your life was difficult and traumatic. Your years in foster care, learning who your parents were. The things you saw and endured. You’ve never had much reason to place faith in anyone or anything. You retreated into your own vast intellect to shield you from the storm of your own tumultuous and painful emotions. Even now they still haunt you. When you were 12 one of your foster parents locked you in a trunk for two days for breaking a dinner plate, but that was a good day, wasn’t it? You never told anyone about the other things he did to you.”

“H-how did you?”

“You are a good woman Temperance Brennan. Your aura is pure if not flawed. Even if you continue to persist in your beliefs, perhaps when the day of your judgment comes God will forgive you for your blasphemy due to the virtuous life you lead.”

After that Castiel let her hand go and then walked over to the body, leaving Bones in a stunned silence.

“Damn he’s cute.” Angela observed from a safe distance, “Since he’s an angel is it safe to assume that he should be chaste or something?”

“Uh, yeah I’d say that’s a safe bet. God probably ain’t too cool with his angels fornicating and all that.” Cam answered her.

“So, cute and a virgin? Heeellloooo.” Angela cooed lustfully.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Hey I can dream can’t I? Just because I’m a married woman doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to fantasize. And this is one situation where I wouldn’t mind being touched by an angel.” She grinned.

“It frightens me that I have to say this to a woman, but could you please get your mind out of the gutter?” Cam chastised.

“No way, after I have my kid I’ll officially be a milf. That’s my cue to be hornier and dirtier than I’ve ever been. Hodges won’t know what hit him.” Angela gloated with a wicked smile as Camille sighed and shook her head.

Castiel outstretched his hand over the body in an attempt to pick up a trace of the aura of the killer, something that normally never failed. But this time…there was nothing. Cam picked up immediately on Castiel’s look of confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Castiel finally said.

“What?”

“I’m getting nothing from the victim. I’m not sensing anything.”

“Is that bad?” Bones asked.

“It shouldn’t be possible. There shouldn’t be anything in the known universe that my powers cannot home in on. But this time it isn’t working.”

“What does that mean?” Booth jumped in.

“Honestly…I don’t know.”

*********

Buffy and the others stood at Willow’s bedside. Kennedy was on her knees on the opposite side of the bed with her hands clasped around one of Willow’s. They were currently at one of several hidden safe houses that they had stationed all over the world. On this trip aside from Seline, Michael, Saya and their pilot, Willow, Kennedy and a medic had come along as well but had stayed behind at the safe house.

“What’s her condition?” Buffy murmured.

“She appears to be catatonic at the moment.” the medic said. An accompanying medic had been one of the first things that Buffy had insisted upon for missions like these considering the nature of their work.

“What happened?” Seline asked.

Kennedy had to take a moment to compose herself before she could start speaking.

“We got word from the coven back at Command Central that contact had been made with some sort of ancient primordial force. They didn’t want to engage it without Willow in the driver’s seat.”

“And?” Michael chimed in.

“Whatever it was, it was powerful…and angry. The psionic backlash that resulted killed everyone else in the coven and left Willow like this.”

“Any idea what it was?” Buffy asked.

“No.”

“What about the seers? Can they dig anything up?” Buffy went on.

“They don’t want to.”

“What?” Buffy gasped.

“They’re scared to death of whatever this thing is. They don’t want to end up like the coven. Some of them have families that they have no intention of leaving behind.” Kennedy explained.

“Something powerful enough to kill an entire coven of witches and cripple the most powerful wiccan on the planet with just its mind? Can’t say I blame them. Are we sure we want to find this thing?” The medic added.

“I do.” Kennedy said sternly.

Buffy looked up at her and could see the anger burning in her eyes.

“Kennedy, I understand. I’m angry too. But we have to stay focused. We need a plan and we need to know what exactly we’re dealing with. We can’t run off half cocked.”

“So what now?” Seline asked.

“We contact Xander back in Scotland and see what kind of intel can be dug up on this thing.” Buffy answered, “Will Willow be okay?” She continued addressing the medic.

“I don’t know honestly. She’s not in any mortal danger to speak of, but when dealing with comas the problem usually isn’t whether or not the patient will die…but if they’ll ever wake up.” The medic concluded forlornly.

Buffy returned her gaze to Willow and looked upon her for the longest time while everyone else remained quiet.

“Hang in there Will”, Buffy finally whispered, “We’ll save you, and we’ll make this thing pay.” She swore.

Just then her cell phone rang, she answered it to find Xander on the other end of the line.

“I was just about to call you, what’s going on?” Buffy admitted.

“We’ve got a nasty situation unfolding in Japan actually and all of our other operatives are otherwise occupied at the moment.” Xander told her.

“Hold on one second, can you guys handle this?”, She asked turning to Selene, Michael and Saya, “I don’t want to leave Willow until we’ve figured out a way to bring her out of this.”

“Sure.” Michael reassured her as they headed out the door.

Afterward she stepped outside for a moment. Once alone she allowed a tear to roll down her cheek. She needed to stay strong for the sake of the group but seeing Willow like that was almost more than she could bear. One thing was certain, she meant every word of what she said, and payback was going to be a *****.

*********

Ohio.

“So do you think they’re here?” Sam asked.

“It’s the only structure for several miles other than an S-mart at the edge of town, we should at least check it out.” Dean said as the Impala crept slowly toward the abandoned house with it’s headlights off.

“Is that smoke I see?” Sam observed.

“Yep, looks like there might be a fire inside.”

“Since when do vampires get cold?”

“Who cares, let’s check it out.”

The boys parked the car and slowly got out. Retrieving their weapons from the trunk as quietly as possible before stealthily moving towards the front of the house.

Inside Owen shivered as he stoked the fire trying to stay warm. When he had decided to go on the run with Abby he could honestly say that he hadn’t planned on having to try to sleep in cold drafty homes. But he had made a promise both to her and himself that he would never leave her side, and he intended to keep it.

“I’m sorry Owen.” Abby confessed as she watched him tremble from the cold.

“No, it’s okay. As long as we got this fire I’ll be fine.”

“As a vampire I generally don’t have to worry about such things. And when I was with my former caretaker he always made sure that we would bed down in a hotel somewhere. Sometimes I forget the things that normal humans have to endure.”

“Like I said, I’ll be okay.”

Outside…

“What the Hell?” Dean whispered.

“I’d swear it sounds like they’re on the run together.” Sam whispered back as the brothers stood on opposing side of the front door.

“Great! A juvenile blood sucking Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Yeah but one of them is apparently human. But why would a kid be helping her?”

“Maybe she threatened him or scared him into helping her?”

“Doesn’t sound like it. Sounds like they’re kinda cozy to me? Like they’re friends or something.”

“What? That’s crazy. She must lying to him or controlling him or some such. Like a
little Renfield or something.”

“We’re not dealing with Bela Lugosi.”

“Well, then what’s your theory genius?”

“I don’t have one.”

“So what do we do-”CRASH!

Dean is interrupted by a hand suddenly punching through the wall and grabbing Sam as it jerked him inside the house through the rotted wood next to the door. As Abby threw him across the room Dean charged in. Owen dove for cover as Abby spun around just in time to take several arrows to the chest tipped in dead man’s blood.

“Abby!” Owen screamed in fear.

She looked down at the arrows and then back at Dean with a snarl as he realized that they had no effect.

“Oh damn!” Dean swore in surprise.

She charged toward him only to catch a load of rock salt to the chest that put her hard against the wall. Though rock salt had no effect on vamps Dean was mainly needing a set up for his next attack as he drew a machete and rushed Abby as she was getting back up. She barely ducked it in time before giving Dean a nasty uppercut that sent him flying back out the front door. Then suddenly Sam lunged back up with his own machete behind her but Owen cried out warning Abby. The diminutive vampire brought her left arm up blocking the swing and then clocked Sam with a right fist. But as he went down he whipped out a UV light causing her to shriek in pain as the rays burned her flesh. She flew up onto the wall crawling across it sideways circling around Sam faster than he could follow until she was able spring on him. She proceeded to pummel him senseless before picking him up off the floor and flying across the room with him slamming into the wall hard and smashing through it into the next room. As they came down onto the floor again she had Sam both dazed and pinned, she could easily rend him limb from limb if she wanted to. But that wasn’t what she wanted, the bloodlust was still upon her. She needed to feed. She bared her fangs, but before she could lean back down a throwing axe suddenly buried itself into Abby’s back causing her to arch backwards in pain with a shriek. She turned to see Dean running towards her and then threw Sam into him as the two brothers crashed down into a table. Sam got back up first as Abby dashed toward them, the younger Winchester let her have it with a sawed off version of their very namesake at pointblank range as she flew back from the force of the blast. Still Abby got back up.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me!” Sam blurted out as his brother finally regained his footing.

There she stood, her torso full of shells, rock salt and arrows with an axe in her back but she still kept coming. That was until Dean drew his own Winchester and the two brothers unloaded both of their guns into her as she was sent flying back hard into another wall and then tumbled to the ground. The boys then drew their machetes once again and advanced only to have Owen throw him self on top of Abby at the last second.

“No stop, please!” He screamed.

“Get out of the way kid!” Dean ordered.

“No you can’t kill her please!”

“What are you nuts? She’s a vampire, a monster, a killer! Don’t you see that?!”

“I don’t care!”

Just then Abby sprang back up as Owen backed off of her. Sam and Dean raised their machetes in a defensive stance when suddenly Crowley appeared out of no where.

“Crowley?!” Dean exclaimed.

“Sorry to interrupt boys, but I’m afraid I need these two.” He said nonchalantly as he smiled at them and slapped a hand down on each of the little ones shoulders before they all vanished.

Sam and Dean were left standing there utterly confused. But Dean was far from speechless.

“Could someone explain to me what in the Hell just happened?!”

*********

Back in D.C. Booth was walking out to his car when Castiel appeared and spun him around pushing him against the car with one hand.

“Whoa what are you-”

“You are not who you say you are and not what you appear to be, you will tell me the truth now.” Cass demanded.

“I see. Well, I guess there’s no point in trying to lie to an omnipotent being. Just do what you did with Bones, you’ll get everything you need to know.” Booth told him as Castiel read his aura.

“Your real name isn’t Seeley Booth…it’s Liam, or should I call you Angel?” Cass said as Booth suddenly felt a little awkward, “Interesting name.” He went on.

“Long story.”

“Indeed. You served heaven even though you were an abomination in my father’s eyes?”

“Not anymore, that life is over for me. I’m not the man I once was. Back when I was in that alley outside the Hyperion 6 years ago, fighting all manner of ungodly things. I didn’t expect to survive. We had brought down the full wrath of Wolfram & Hart down upon us, why wouldn’t we think we were about to die? There was a shaman performing a spell of some kind. I guess he figured the quickest way to kill those of us that were inhuman was to make us human. I had just slain a dragon when the magical blast went off. At that same moment the dragon’s body fell on top of me. When I came to and pulled myself out, all of my friends were dead and the things we were fighting that had managed to survive long gone. I had no choice, I had to try to pick up the pieces and make a new life for myself and forge a background. A warlock that owed me a favor used powerful magiks to literally recreate my life from the ground up. Something similar to what I did with my son Connor.”

“You were a great champion for the forces of light and purity.”

“Was.”

“And can still be by assisting me. You know what it was that mutilated the people in the diner. Or more importantly… Angelus knows, he‘s met it before.”

“Okay, I’m not sure I like where you’re going with this.”

“Fear not, I simply need to probe your mind deeper to reach the information that I seek. Whatever this thing is it has worked hard to hide itself.” Castiel assured him as he touched his head again this time closing his eyes and concentrating. A moment later he was finished as an expression of sheer dread came across him.

“I’m guessing that horrified face you’re making means you found it? Care to share?”

“You really don’t want to know. Thank you, I have what I need, I must go quickly.” Castiel told him as Booth turned to leave.

“Booth?” Cass beckoned.

“Yeah?”

“What you said before. About not being the man you once were?”

“Yeah?”

“You are wrong.”

“Why?”

“Because, vampire or mortal, you’re still helping the helpless.” Castiel concluded as he disappeared.


*********

“Who were those men?” Owen spouted in alarm. He suddenly found himself in a vast field.

“They were hunters me boy.” Crowley answered.

“Hunters?”

“Yes, a special kind that hunt things like your friend Abby, among other things.”

“Who are you?” Owen stuttered fearfully as he backed away from Crowley.

“Who I am isn’t important, what matters is that I can help you.”

“Where’s Abby?!”

“She’s fine and nearby, but otherwise detained so that you and I can have a man to boy chat.

“But her injuries! If she doesn’t feed she’ll-”

“Relax junior, I took care of that.”

*********

Abby suddenly found herself in an alley staring at what appeared to be a homeless family huddled next to a dumpster asleep. She looked all around her but saw no sign of Owen anywhere. But she found it hard to focus on anything but the ravenous famishment that consumed her. Her hunger had reached its peak and more so if she didn’t feed immediately to jump start her metabolism and healing, her wounds would kill her. She had to leave the various projectiles that were lodged in her in place to prevent excessive blood loss.

Just then a young boy no older than 6 woke up. He saw Abby and slowly got up so as to not wake his parents.

“Hi, what’s your name?” He asked as he walked toward her.

When he got close enough he saw her injuries.

“Are you hurt?” He asked innocently.

Abby’s eyes went pure yellow as she let out a low starved growl causing the child to step back in fright.

*********

“You want my soul?”

“Yes. Normally I let that little detail slip when making these deals but for this transaction I’m afraid I needed to be upfront with you.”

“A-are you the devil?” Owen whimpered.

“Let’s just say I’m a former associate.”

“You’re evil?”

“Good, evil. Why quibble over unimportant details? What matters is that like I‘ve already said, I can help you.”

“How?”

“You’ve seen what I can do. What if I told you I could give you what you wanted more than anything.”

“What?”

“Oh come now Owen, you know what I’m talking about. What if I said I could make your little friend human. You two could be normal kids. No more running and hiding, no more killing and feeding, no more hunters. And no more dismal future where you become Abby’s personal chef.”

“You can do that?’

“I can do even better. I’ll get your folks back together. You’ll finally be part of a normal functional family. Abby will be your best friend and then in a couple of years you two will hit puberty and really start to have some fun.”

“If I give you my soul?”

“Yes.”

“What happens after that?’

“You get to have 10 wonderful years.”

“Then what?”

“I come for you.”

“What?”

“Sorry lad, that’s just the way these deals work.”

“I. I don’t know. This doesn’t seem right.”

“And how you’re living now does? Just think about it Owen. Perfect happiness and bliss to make up for all the pain and sadness. In the end it’s your choice. 10 years living the life you’ve always wanted. Or continue the way you are and hope that both of you survive long enough to see your next birthday.”

For the longest time Owen said nothing, Crowley could tell he was deep in thought.

“Well, what’s it going to be?”

“I…I need to think about it.” He answered as the crossroads demon let out a somewhat frustrated sigh.

“Well, normally that wouldn’t work for me, but this particular deal is rather important to me so…I’ll be in touch.”

“Can you take me back to Abby?” Owen asked.

*********

Abby began to move toward the child. What little rational thought processes she had slipping fast. She could hear and smell the blood pumping through the boy’s veins, it was intoxicating.

“Wha-what are you doing?” The boy muttered as Abby crept ever closer.

Just down the street at a small convenience store…

“Just give me what’s in the register lady and you won’t get hurt! Got that!”

“Yes, please just don’t kill me!” A sobbing clerk cried as the thug shoved the gun in her face, but she made the mistake of tripping the alarm.

"Screw you!" He roared as he unloaded the weapon into her.

A few moments later he had the contents of the register and rushed towards the door only to see Abby standing there looking like something out of a horror movie as he stopped dead in his tracks.

“What the f**k?!” He spat right before Abby spear tackled him crashing through one of the aisle dividers.

In one swift motion she ripped his head from his body as if an angry grizzly had swatted him. She then arched his headless torso toward her open mouth as the gushing blood sprayed into her waiting and hungry maw. Anyone else that happened to be in the store ran out screaming in a panic.

Just then Owen appeared in the doorway.

“Abby come on!” He yelled as she drank her fill and then took to the air grabbing Owen along the way as they soared away into the night sky.

Down below the small boy, untouched and unharmed, looked on not sure of what he had just seen.

*********

Back in Ohio a voice blared over a loud speaker at a local department store.

“Remember shoppers, for the next hour up near the front registers you can meet and greet Tony Stark and get your copy of ‘Heavy Boots Of Lead: My life As The Tin Man.’ autographed by Iron Man himself. And remember, shop smart, shop S-mart!”

“Tony, explain to me again why we are here?” Pepper asked in a incredulous manner.

“For a book signing.”

“I know that, I mean why here at an S-mart of all places? Why not a Borders or a Barnes And Noble like the huge one they have in New York?”

“What, you don’t like this? I love S-mart, I came to these all the time as a kid.”

“No, you tried to run into them when you were a kid but your dad would have the nanny drag you away because he felt it was a sub par establishment beneath Stark family standards. I’ve heard the stories Tony.”

“Details, details. Besides have you tried the slushies here? They’re real slushies, not that watered down crap that gas stations and movie theaters try to push on you nowadays. Just like K-mart, they had good slushies too.”

“So we’re here because you like their slushies?”

“Everyone knows the only good department stores left in the United States are the ones that have the word ‘mart’ in them.”

“What about Wal-mart?”

“They don’t count, they’re ran by Commies.”

“What?”

“It’s true, I read a S.H.E.I.L.D. file on it.”

“But you’re not even technically a member of S.H.E.I.L.D, how did you-”

“I hacked their database.”

“You did what?!”

“It was the weekend, I was bored, sue me.”

“Uh, I don’t think it’s going to be me that ends up suing you.”

“They can get in line.”

“Tony you’ve got to stop doing things like that, it’s bad enough that we’ve got the United States government breathing down our necks.”

“Are you saying this ain’t fun? That I don’t make our lives more exciting? Seriously, what would you do without me?”

“Not die of a stress induced ulcer by the age of 40.”

A few aisles over…

“Mindy, we’ve had this discussion before. I don’t want you doing the vigilante thing anymore.” Marcus said disapprovingly, “That’s why I requested a transfer to a quieter town, so that you wouldn’t have to do what I know you’ve been doing behind my back.”

“I know how you feel Marcus, but what can I say, it’s in my blood.”

Marcus always flinched when Mindy called him by name. For so many years while her father was in prison he had looked after her, taken care of her. He had raised her from birth until her father got out of prison. In truth he loved her as if she were his own daughter. He knew he would never be able to replace her father, but he had always hoped that someday she could look at him as one.

“Mindy, I loved your father like a brother, you know that. We were partners at the precinct for God knows how many years. But I never approved of what he did to you.”

“Did to me? He loved me, he trained me! He showed me how to be strong, how to take care of myself and how to make motherf**kers like Frank D’Amico pay for ruining peoples lives!”

“Mindy! Language!”

“Sorry.”

“What your father did was turn you into a sociopath, don’t you see that? The kind of childhood you had, it never should’ve happened.”

“Well, maybe if D’Amico hadn’t tried to ruin my father’s life and made my mom kill herself, I wouldn’t have.”

“Mindy.”

“This conversation is over.” She stated bluntly as she turned and walked away.

“Mindy!” He called after her, but she kept on walking.

She needed time to cool off, these talks about her father with Marcus always seemed to go this way, but eventually she found herself distracted as she stood in front of the sporting goods section practically drooling at a gun she never thought she would see in real life.

Sitting in the display case before her was the Austrian Pfeifer-Zeliska .600 Nitro Express Magnum, ‘THE’ most powerful handgun in the world. This 22 inch 13.23 pound behemoth of a cannon was chambered to fire the British developed .600 caliber rifle bullet originally made by Holland and Holland. This revolver was not originally a full production model but a bespoke one off, built especially for a wealthy Swiss gentleman...Mr. Zeliska. For little Mindy it was the holy grail of carnage, the king of overkill, a supreme weapon that would beat and rape Dirty Harry’s Magnum like a screaming crying hooker. And Mindy was mesmerized.

“Wow.” She whispered suddenly numb to everything around her.

“Hey kid, you‘re drooling on the floor.” A voice suddenly said from behind the counter breaking Mindy out of her trance as she looked up.

Standing before her was a man about 6 feet in height with black over gelled hair and what appeared to be metal gauntlet on his right hand.

“Name’s Ash Williams, hardwares. Can I help you?”

“What is ‘THIS’ doing in your display case?” She asked pointing at the Zeliska.

“Why?”

“This gun isn’t supposed to be commercially available, it was never a regular production model.”

“You know your guns kid. Well you’re right it wasn’t and it also ain’t for sale, this baby is from my private collection.”

“Why would you keep it here?”

“I got my reasons.”

“Aren’t you worried someone might try to steal it?”

“Someone did try…once.” Ash spoke ominously.

“Can I see it?” She asked with the cutest smile she could muster.

“What are you nuts? Get outta here, shouldn’t you be over in the toy asile playing with Barbie dolls or something?”

Mindy’s smile vanished instantly, “I don’t play with Barbie dolls.” She scowled.

“Oh so you like guns instead huh? Well what you do in your spare time don’t mean s#!t to me, but I ain’t showing you nuthin. Besides even if it was for sale I don’t think your allowance would quite cover it kiddo.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“And just what the Hell would you do with it? How old are you, 11, 12? You’re all of 5 feet tall and probably weigh 60 pounds soaking wet. The recoil alone would obliterate your entire arm.”

“Actually the recoil wouldn’t be uncontrollable, it should be tamed by the gun’s weight down to acceptable levels. If not it’s nothing that a bi-pod and shoulder stock wouldn’t fix.”

“You‘re scary kid., and coming from me, that’s sayin something. Well here’s my play toy of choice, a 12-gauge, double-barreled Remington, S-Mart's top of the line This sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retailing for about $199.95, it's got a walnut stock, colbalt blue steel and a hair trigger. Better known as…the Boomstick.”

“Not bad, but for someone my size the S&W 640. hammerless J frame 357 magnum packs plenty of power in a small snagproof package. It's a great pocket gun and it's stainless so you won't have to worry about the finish.”

“Really?”

“Yea really.”

“Kid, do your parents know that you’re in to this kinda stuff?”

With that comment Mindy’s somewhat jovial countenance fades as she glares at Ash for the longest time before turning and walking away.

“What? What did I say?”

*********

At the local cemetery the evil force that had come to Earth extended its ethereal cosmic hand as the bodies that were still mostly intact stirred in their graves. Something horrible and unnatural had come to rest here and the dead would now no longer remain so. As the spores infested the corpses they slowly began to dig and claw their way to the surface. This would only be the beginning of what would quickly transform into a widespread epidemic.

[Mecha74]

In the tiny coastal city of Yamatsuri in Fukushima Japan the town was under attack by a combination of H-men and Matangos.

The JSDF had been combating the creatures for some time but they were being overwhelmed, even when Saya, Selene and Michael arrived on the scene they were hard pressed to beat back the creatures. The Matango were easy enough to dispatch but they kept coming like cannon fodder. Meanwhile the H-men were a different matter seeing how only fire seemed to kill them. The JSDF moved in with flame throwers while Selene and Michael resorted to incendiary delay detonation phosphorus rounds. Saya on the other hand not being a fan of gunplay was busy hacking up the Matango mushroom beings left and right since she used no weaponry that would be effective against the radioactive H-men. The heroes had been apprised of their enemy and knew that the H-men were the most dangerous, considering that their mere touch could kill. Selene discovered this the hard way when one of them managed to grab her right arm. She screamed in pain as the appendage began to literally melt off of her body.

“Selene!” Michael yelled in horror.

Saya heard her scream as well and immediately bounded over to her as the living radioactive ooze began to travel up the rest of her arm.

“Hold out your arm.” Saya told her.

“What are you going to-” Michael started to say when Saya abruptly sliced Selene’s arm clean off at the shoulder as she let out another scream.

“Jesus Christ! What are you doing?!” Michael yelped but his protest was cut short as both he and Saya had to turn and lay waste to more incoming H-men and Matangos before they could get within arm‘s reach.

Selene in the meantime proceeded to regrow an entirely new arm.

In the heat of battle a transmission came in warning of an impending napalm drop on the area. As such everyone pulled out quickly thereafter. The Prime Minister had waited to give the order until after the local residents had been evacuated. It had been the job of the military and the heroes to hold the line against the invaders until the evacuation was complete. Standard fire bombing was considered but it had been hoped that napalm would cause less damage to the town itself yet still effectively neutralize the threat.

Under normal circumstances Protocol 3 of the CCW(Convention On Certain Conventional Weapons) Act established in 1980 prohibited the use of napalm anywhere near a populated area, however these circumstances were far from normal.

As the planes dropped their payloads almost every monster present was reduced to smoldering ash. When it was over the JSDF did a quick sweep to pick off any stragglers that might have survived before moving out. Afterward the heroes moved back in to inspect the area in case the troops had missed anything.

What they didn’t expect though was an angry and hungry gargantua rising out of the water off shore.

Gaira squinted as he surveyed the shoreline, but all he saw were the three defenders, which for him would barely be a snack. He roared fiercely as he stomped onto the shore and into the town.

Saya bolted out of view while Michael and Selene opened fire. Their weaponry did appear to hurt the 25 meter kaiju but also seemed to further anger it. They took off running with the monster in hot pursuit. Saya meanwhile was running and jumping across rooftops alongside the beast until she managed to leap onto its shoulder stabbing her sword into the side of its skull as it shrieked in pain. Unfortunately though the blade didn’t go deep enough to hit anything vital as Gaira reached up and swatted Saya off like a bug. She hit the ground hard and didn’t move again right away.

Michael and Selene fired once more, this time at the creature’s head as it shrieked furiously and proceeded to demolish the entire area. During the destructive disarray Selene was caught by flying debris that stunned her for a brief moment. That was all the time that Gaira needed as he scooped her up. However she managed to grab a discarded flame thrower that she blasted the gargantua in the face with as he howled in pain and threw her back down violently. She came crashing back down in one of the demolished buildings as part of it gave way and partially buried her under tons of debris that even she with her titanic strength couldn’t free herself from. In a panic Michael rushed to her aid trying dig her out but in the process left himself wide open for Gaira who kicked him with a massive foot putting him through the wall of another building.

Finally having a moment to pull at the annoying stinging thing that one of the things he perceived as prey had stabbed him with, he yanked Saya’s sword free and tossed it aside.

Saya meanwhile had recovered and made a dash for the fallen blade as Gaira smashed through the top of the structure that Michael had been kicked into and snatched the semiconscious hybrid up. But before he could bring him up to his mouth Saya leapt up onto his arm and stabbed it trying to make him drop Michael. In a rage Gaira tried to shake her loose but she refused to let go. He then smashed the arm in question through another building with Saya still pressed against it effectively knocking the wind out of her. He then grabbed her as well with his other hand. Despite her superhuman strength Saya’s arms were pinned to her sides in the kaiju’s crushing grip that afforded her no leverage. Gaira salivated at the thought of the meal to come.

“Michael, Saya!” Selene screamed as she futilely continued to struggle against the rubble that held her fast.

“Hey ugly!” a voice suddenly said atop a edifice to the monster’s left as it turned.

Standing there was a large red demon with a trench coat, filed horns and a really, REALLY big gun.

The rocket shells of the gun Hellboy called ‘Big Baby’ found their mark as Gaira’s left eye exploded. He staggered back screeching in misery dropping both Michael and Saya as she quickly landed on her feet and then ran behind Gaira slicing through his Achilles tendons as the shaggy beast fell backwards. As he fell Hellboy leapt from his perch and landed on top of the monster’s chest as he unloaded the rest of his gun right into the creature’s face. Gaira reached up smacking Hellboy aside as Saya landed on his face and stabbed her sword into his remaining eye as the giant howled in pain once more. The blinded kaiju flailed wildly as Saya bounded away but just then a bus smashed into the top of the gargantua’s head with Michael behind the wheel. Upon impact Michael was thrown through the windshield. Gaira started to sit up as he shoved the bus away but now unable to see didn’t even realize Hellboy was lunging at him rearing back with the right hand of doom. The large stony red fist smashed clean through the front of his skull as fragments of bone and grey matter went everywhere. Gaira then fell back down once more, this time he didn‘t get back up.

“Well, that fun, don‘t you agree Saya?” Hellboy asked.

“You know her?” Michael asked running back up to them.

“Yep, me and Saya go way back. What, she didn‘t tell you?”

“She doesn’t talk much.”

“Yep, same old Saya. You know we-”

“As glad that I am that you’re all still alive, and as much as I hate to interrupt, could I perhaps trouble you to dig me out of here?!” Selene yelled to them from where she was with a frustrated expression.

This was only the beginning. Monster attacks of every kind were taking place all over the world. In London Faith led a group of slayers against a Triffid infestation. Back in the U.S. Rufus had hooked up with Bobby, Whistler, Machete and the Frog Brothers to take on a Slithis horde. In Australia Optimus Prime led the Autobots against a slew of giant mutations. Tibet saw the B.P.R.D. taking on a savage Yeti pack. Moonbeasts were overrunning South Africa before the Men In Black intervened as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents faced off against a werewolf pack in Canada. While in South America the X-men engaged a Gill Man invasion.

Things were only going to get worse in time.


*********


“Anything yet Xander?” Buffy asked on her cell phone.

“I’m afraid not. Our researchers aren’t finding a thing like this in any of the ancient texts. They’re beginning to think that it may be something that predates written history.”

“Do you think it could be the First Evil again?” Buffy worried.

“I don’t know. I suppose its possible, but right now lets try to keep the mind numbing panic to a minimum by not jumping to conclusions.”

“Well, keep at it, we gotta find the answer Xander.”

“I know. And I promise you we won’t stop until we do.” He responded.

“Perhaps I could be of assistance?” A voice suddenly said as Buffy spun around to see Castiel standing before her.

“Who are you?” Buffy blurted out in a startled fashion.

“My name is Castiel and I am here to help you.”

“Buff, you okay? What’s going on?” Xander asked.

“It’s okay Xander, I’ll be in touch.” She said hanging up.

“So your name is Castiel?”

“Yes.”

“How did you sneak up on me like that?”

“I come and go as I please upon the wind. All I have to do is think of where I wish to be and I am there.”

“What are you a warlock?”

“No, I’m an angel.” Cass told her, but the countenance on her face clearly showed her bewilderment at the claim.

“Uh yeah. Listen, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pardon me for being a tad skeptical.”

“Buffy Summers, the most legendary warrior of the slayer bloodline. The things you’ve done, that you’ve seen, that you’ve experienced. Is it really so hard to believe?”

“In my line of work I’ve learned that appearances can be deceiving.”

“So you don’t remember me?” Cass questioned.

“Remember you? No, why would I?”

“You don’t remember? The second time that you died? You nearly crossed over but you didn’t. There was a presence there that kept you from doing so.” He explained as the memory hit Buffy like Mack truck.

“You? That was you?” She said in an astonished tone.

“If you had crossed over completely there would’ve been no way that even your wiccan friend’s magic could’ve brought you back. I was ordered by God to see to it that you didn’t enter the light.”

“Why? Does he hate me that much?”

“On the contrary, he loves you Buffy, as he loves all of his children. The reason you were prevented from passing on was that your work here on Earth wasn’t finished yet. You are one of God’s chosen warriors, a defender of the planet.”

“Unbelievable,” She muttered in amazement.

“Now do I have your trust?” He asked.

A few moments later both she and Cass walked into the safe house.

“Who is this?” The medic asked.

“A friend.” Buffy replied.

Cass was led to Willow’s bed as he reached out with two fingers on his right hand.

“What’s he going to do?” Kennedy demanded with alarm in her voice as she started to move toward him.

“It’s okay Kennedy, he’s here to help.” Buffy reassured her.

“Alright, but if you hurt her you’ll get my foot up your ***.” She threatened.

With that Cass touched Willow’s forehead and her eyes instantly snapped open. She abruptly sat up wide eyed and terrified as she began to babble incoherently in a manner that reminded Buffy of the insecure mousy young girl she had met back in high school. It had been a very long time since Buffy had seen her that scared of anything. Kennedy was at her side in a heartbeat trying to calm her as she climbed onto the bed and held her tightly. Buffy placed a hand on her shoulder while Kennedy ran her hands through Willow’s hair, even surrounded by friends and loved ones Willow couldn’t stop shaking. Buffy finally turned her attention back to Castiel.

“Thank you,“ She spoke, to which Cass nodded, “Now…what is this thing and how do we kill it?”

“I’ll tell you what little I know, but then I must go. There are others I must find and speak to.” Cass clarified.

“You can’t leave us out of this!” Kennedy hissed, “I want this ******* dead!”

“This isn’t just about us. This thing is a supreme cosmic threat, a planet killer. We’ll need all the help we can get from countless heroes and warriors like yourselves. We need to amass an army.” Cass told her.

“Is that a fact?” Buffy said with a knowing smile.

*********

“It’s called a sanguijuela.”

“A what?” Dean asked on his cell phone.

“That’s the Spanish term for a bloodsucker. After you told me about your little encounter I started researching based on the attributes you told me.” Bobby informed him.

“And?”

“The legend of this particular kind of vampire dates back to around 2500 B.C. according to the Caral Supe Civilization of Peru. The oldest known civilization of the Americas. Legend refers to them being able to fly and also being far stronger than most vampires. They were a very rare breed, the last known nest of them was wiped out in Santa Carla California back in 1987. Before that there had been no reported cases of them in over a century.”

“Endangered species huh?”

“You bet, you boys might be tracking the last one no less.”

“Well, how do we kill it? It didn’t like the UV light but Dead man’s blood didn’t faze it. And even shot full of arrows and shells and an axe in her back she was still kicking our asses.”

“If she loses enough blood a sanguijuela will slip into a coma and die. That’s if you do enough damage and prevent her from feeding. Feeding boosts their regenerative powers.”

“So basically we gotta go overkill on this thing.”

“Yep, that’s about the size of it.”

“Any idea what Crowley would want with this thing and the kid?”

“No idea. But knowing Crowley it can’t be good.”

********

Back in Japan.

“C’mon in everyone, make yourselves at home.” Hellboy invited.

“Nice place you got here. How can you afford this if the Bureau is no longer funding you?” Selene asked.

“Eh, nothing selling a few valuable bobbles on ebay didn’t fix.”

Just then Liz came in holding her back. She was currently 8 months pregnant and showing.

“Hey, how’s my favorite girl?” Hellboy greeted her as they walked up to one another and embraced sharing a kiss, “And how are the kids?”

“Kicking again. I thought one of them was going to punch through my belly earlier.” Liz told him.

“Ha ha that’s my boys.” Hellboy smiled as he rubbed her belly, “ Liz, this is Saya, Selene and Michael. They helped me out out there.”

“Yeah I know, you made it on TV again.” Liz confessed in an amused fashion.

“So, how you been Saya?” Hellboy asked her.

“As well as can be expected.”

“Would it kill you to smile once in a while?” Hellboy joked.

“You wouldn’t believe how often she hears that.” Michael teased.

“Yea, I’ll bet.”

“So how do you two know each other?” Michael went on.

“Well, she may or may not have told you this already but back in the 70s she worked with a secret group called ‘The Council’. It was an agency that much like the B.P.R.D. helped to protect the world from supernatural threats. The Council however operated outside the United States government whereas the Bureau was actually funded by the government. Anyhoo, a threat deemed more serious than anything else the world had ever faced back in 1970 caused the Bureau and the Council to work together for one time only. I was partnered with Saya on that mission.”

“What was the mission?” Selene asked.

“Meh, someone was trying to raise Cthulhu from his slumber.”

“How’d that go?” Michael pried.

“No big deal really. Cultists, shoggoths, people going mad and stuff. The usual. Just another day at the office.”

“It took some time for us to warm up to Saya. How’d things go between the two of you?” Selene inquired.

“Well, when we first met she tried to kill me, which is kinda par for the course for me. But hey we made it work.”

“Why did you move here?” Michael continued questioning.

“Well, until just recently, 100% demon and monster free. Well, aside from a certain variety anyway.”

“That doesn’t seem possible. Is there such a place in the world were creatures of some kind don’t exist?”

“Well there was a time when Japan was no different, worse even actually. With all the monster hunting going on in Europe things of every kind and description began fleeing to all four corners of the globe, including here.”

“So what happened?”

“About 50 some odd years ago, the age of kaiju began. Once those big brutes showed up everything else cleared out. Remember that certain variety I just mentioned?”

“So you traded little monsters for big monsters? That doesn’t sound like a trade up to me. Sounds even more dangerous actually.”

“Only if you live in the big cities, here out in the country on smaller islands, pretty damn peaceful truth be told. Gotta tell ya though, real estate on the mainland is unbelievable.” Hellboy finished as Michael began to laugh.


********

Los Angeles

At the haven bar/club known as Papa Midnite’s

“I ain’t going to ask you again, so I suggest you cooperate.”

“I can’t tell you where they are, you have no idea what they would do to me if I talked.” A quivering vampire spoke nervously with Blade’s sword held at his throat.

“Nothing worse than what I WILL do if you don’t.”

“You don’t scare me Blade. I’d rather be dust, so just go ahead and kill me.”

“Normally that would work for me just fine, but since I need information I guess I’ll just have to get creative.”

“What the Hell does that mean?”

“Put simply, if you don’t spill your guts, I’m gonna have to spill YOUR guts.” Blade threatened with a menacing smile as the vamp’s eyes went wide.

But suddenly Blade became aware of a gun barrel pointed at the back of his head, he slowly turned his head to see John Constantine standing behind him.

“Can’t believe you were actually stupid enough to come back to my town after what you did.” Constantine spoke.

“You know damn well it had to be done John, now I suggest you put that gun down before I shove it sideways up your ***.” Blade warned.

“ENOUGH!” A loud voice suddenly thundered throughout the room as everyone present turned to see Papa Midnite standing at the entrance to his private chamber, “You all know the rules of my house, especially you John.”

“Thought you gave up the whole balance bullshit.”

“After you dealt with Selaphiel the balance was restored. Besides, Blade is one of the good guys.”

“Says you. All I see is another vampire.”

“You have a problem with me John?” Blade asked almost jovially.

“Maybe I do.” John said a split second before Blade did a quick spin around using the hilt of his sword to knock Constantine’s gun away from his head while simultaneously putting a low sweep kick into John’s legs taking him down. As Constantine went down the gun went off but in mid-fall he drew his dragon fire blaster that Blade barely dodged in time as the flames erupted from the muzzle slightly singeing the daywalker’s coat.

But as the two warriors rose back up a powerful force suddenly pinned them both to opposing walls of the bar.

“Both of you get out!” Papa Midnite told them sternly.

Then suddenly appearing out of nowhere is a man in a black suit and tie out of a magical teleport gate. His abrupt appearance causes the club’s bouncers/security to leap into action as they quickly surround the man in question.

“If you like I could take them off your hands for you.” Said the unknown individual.

“Whoever you are, magic use as well as violence is not permitted by patrons in my bar.” Midnite informed him.

Just then a random demon attempted to take advantage of John in his prone position making a mad dash for him. But Papa Midnite snapped his head in its direction and using pure telekinetic force blew it to smithereens.

All is quiet after that, the situation tense and unnerving. That is until a random male singer over on the stage began belting out a very melodic version of, ‘Why Can’t We Be Friends’.

Everyone turned to see a green skinned demon with tiny horns on his forehead and a very colorful and over the top suit bearing his soul on the stage. His voice appeared to diffuse the standoff. After a few more moments he finally stopped singing.

“You know Midnite, if you would’ve just used that sanctuary spell like I suggested you wouldn’t have this problem right now.” Lorne told him with a knowing grin.

After that Papa Midnite released Blade and John and ordered his security to stand down. The mysterious character then slowly walked up to Midnite and showed him his badge.

“You’re a B.P.R.D. agent?”

“Yes, and we have need of both John Constantine and Blade.”

“Fine, take them.”

********

Back in Ohio at the S-mart.

“We ‘d already be home by now if you hadn’t made me have to come looking for you.” Marcus told Mindy as they loaded the back of his minivan with groceries.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She said in a disgruntled manner.

But just then she caught something out of the corner of her eye. What appeared to be a large group of people moving down the street towards the S-mart. But as they drew closer their pace quickened. The first person to cross their path was bum rushed as they began to tear him to pieces. He was still screaming as they ripped his intestines from his body.

Once the parking lot lights shone upon them they were revealed for what they truly were. Many wailed in horror as the insane mob descended upon their unsuspecting prey.

“What in God‘s name?” Marcus wondered aloud as the ravenous cadavers devoured the warm flesh, stripping everything from the hapless humans’ bodies.

“I don’t think so.“ Mindy replied as she dove into the back of the minivan opening a secret compartment that contained a backpack.

Some of them split away from the main group and started toward Marcus, who wasn’t quite sure how to react at first. But just as they reached him a series of bullets found their mark as several heads suddenly exploded. Marcus spun around to see Mindy holding a hammerless J frame 357 magnum. She then tossed Marcus a Smith And Wesson 40 cal semi automatic allot like his standard issue police firearm. He looked down at it in disbelief before looking back up at Mindy.

“What the…? Did you have this stuff in there the whole time?!”

“Call it an emergency kill kit, and I’d say that this situation damn well qualifies.”

“You can’t be serious Mindy?!”

“Can’t I? I’ve seen enough horror movies to know what those things are.” She told him as she slipped into her costume.

Just as she finished more of the pack charged in, but Mindy was ready, but then again Mindy wasn’t here anymore…now there was only Hit-Girl. With a series of flips she vaulted herself into the oncoming horde of the undead. As she did so she wielded her double bladed staff that she referred to as ’the Mindy stick’. As she flipped through the air head over heels her body also spun like a corkscrew causing her blades to lash out and slash at an utterly insane degree of countless angles as the zombies were reduced to bloody quivering pieces. One zombie managed to reach down grabbing the center of her staff, but this would prove to be its undoing as Hit-Girl automatically separated it into it’s katana components. She then twirled the dual swords cutting off the zombie’s still outstretched hands before stabbing both blades up under the flesh eater’s jaw directly into its brain.

“Mindy! My God what are you doing to these people?!”

“Does this look like a person to you?!” She shouted grabbing a severed head that was still growling and snapping before stuffing a live grenade in it and punting it like a football at the next group coming in fast. When it exploded it took several others with it.

“Aim for the head! Torso shots don’t mean dick!” She yelled out as she once again whipped out her mini magnum and opened fire. This time however Marcus joined her as he unloaded rounds from his own gun.

Inside the store…

“What’s going on out there?’ Pepper asked as Tony and Happy Hogan looked over her shoulders.

“Happy?” Tony uttered.

“Yes sir?”

“Get my suitcase.”

Back outside Hit-Girl and Marcus eventually found themselves surrounded by bodies but still more kept coming. It was at this time that a black 67 impala came speeding down the street mowing down countless droves of zombies. Sam and Dean had come into town with the intention of crashing at a local motel for the night, but had run afoul of the formerly deceased infestation as soon as they reached the populated area. As the car screeched to a halt Sam and Dean sprung from the doors getting to their trunk as quickly as they could. As soon as Dean procured a shotgun he spun around to blow the head off of an incoming zombie as the brothers loaded themselves up and ran over to where Hit-Girl and Marcus were.

“Who the Hell are you guys?” She asked curtly.

“I’m Dean, this is my…brother Sam?” Dean started to say as they both took notice of Hit-Girl’s attire.

“Nice costume, you know Halloween was over a month ago right?”

“Bite me.” Hit-Girl retorted as Dean cocked an eyebrow while Sam merely shrugged.

Just then the remainder of the first mob closed in as Sam and Dean began rapid firing at the leaders of the rotting stampede.

“Don’t worry kid, we’ll protect you.” Sam assured her.

“Whatever.” Hit-Girl sighed in an annoyed manner as she took off running headlong into the infestation.

“No wait!” Dean called after her as she once again went into berserker mode.

With her ‘Mindy stick’ reattached she cleaved one zombie’s legs off at the knees before lopping its head off while a second was stabbed clean through the back of its skull. A third tried to come up behind her but without even looking back she stabbed her staff strait backwards into its gut before ripping it upwards cutting the torso in half from the waist up as it peeled apart all the way to the top of its skull. She whirled around bisecting another from its right shoulder down through its left thigh while one more was sliced in half at the waist before having the top of its cranium hacked clean off. She then strode over to the bisected zombie and drove her blade down into its head finishing it once and for all with an angry scowl. Dean and Sam meanwhile looked on with expressions of utter shock and awe, their mouths agape all the while.

Just then Happy rushed out past them and over to Tony’s new Rolls-Royce Phantom. He had to buy a new one after Vanko trashed the first one. Tony was genuinely surprised when he discovered that his insurance didn’t cover cleaving damage from energy whips. Happy grabbed the suitcase and then rushed back past the others but Dean’s eyes followed him.

“Holy crap!” Dean stuttered.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Was that who I think it was?”

“Who?” Sam went on.

“Happy Hogan!”

“Who?” Sam asked again only becoming more confused.

“Happy Hogan?! Tony Stark’s chauffeur?!”

“Tony Stark? You mean-”

“Iron Man!” Dean exclaimed excitedly.

“You guys really are masters of the obvious aren’t you?” Hit-Girl jabbed, considering that they apparently didn’t notice the giant banner stretched across the front of the store advertising Tony’s appearance.

It was then that an entirely new throng of zombies began to pour in from all sides as the would be heroes began to open fire once again. This time though they were far greater in number.

“Oh, this is soooo not looking good.” Dean observed.

But a split second later most of the teeming swarm was mowed down by a series of beams. The only ones still active were in too many pieces to do anything. Everyone quickly turned to see Tony in his suitcase armor standing a few feet away.

“Everyone okay out here?” He asked walking up to them.

“Fine now, thanks to you.” Marcus told him.

Just then a cell phone/communicator went off inside Tony’s helmet as ‘Iron Man’ by AC/DC could suddenly be heard.

“Awesome.” Dean smiled, being more than able to appreciate Tony’s taste in music.

“Scuse me folks. Hello?”

“Tony?”

“Pepper?”

“Are you okay, is-is everything okay?”

“Um, yeah. Why are you calling me? You could’ve just come out here and asked.”

“No, no that, that doesn’t work for me with all of the explosions and the blood the body parts and the people eating people and-and, I think I’m just fine in here.” She explained in a slightly frazzled manner.

Hit-Girl had turned away from the exchange momentarily when she saw Marcus picking at something on his arm.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing. One of those damn things bit me is all.”

“WHAT!” She yelled getting everyone else’s attention.

“I told you it’s nothing, barely a scratch.” Marcus continued.

“Did the bite draw blood?” She asked with baited breath.

“Yes.” He answered as Hit-Girl hung her head and then momentarily turned away.

“You were bitten by one of them?” Sam asked.

“What’s all the fuss, why is everyone freaking out about this?” Marcus yammered still in complete ignorance.

“We need to get you inside and tie you down, right now.” Dean insisted.

“Dean I know that we’ve encountered different kinds of zombies in the past but we’ve never actually ran into any that turned victims with bites.” Sam reminded his brother.

“Better safe than sorry.” Dean replied.

Meanwhile unbeknownst to all of them from a dark alley across the street they were being watched by someone in a leather jacket sitting upon a motorcycle.

********

In another part of town…

With a deep guttural snarl Abby ripped the head off of one zombie and then quickly turned shattering the skull of another with her right fist. A third had its intestines ripped out as Abby swung them around the zombie’s neck like a lasso and gave a quick jerk snapping its neck. One them reached for Owen only to have its arms torn off as she spun around taking the head off one more with one of the severed appendages. Another lunged but Abby caught it in midair and ripped it in half at the waist. When the zombie plague had began Abby and Owen had made their way to a rooftop to avoid the bloodbath down upon the streets but they were spotted as the infected charged the building and made their way up to them.

One thing was clear, they had to get out of here. They had been cornered and Abby couldn’t fight them off and protect Owen too. With that she snatched him up and took off flying as dozens more zombies chased after them throwing themselves off the roof in a futile attempt to reach them.

They decided to take refuge in the back of an armored bank truck, since there was seemingly no where else they could go outside that could be considered a refuge from these things. Abby had no reason for concern as to herself, but she had to protect Owen, as these strange creatures became seemingly rabid in his presence.

“Abby? Abby where are you?!” Owen screamed, considering that once they were inside with the doors shut it was pitch black inside.

“I’m here.” She said calmly grasping his hand, for her seeing in the dark was a no brainer, her supernatural vision comparable to that of an owl.

“What are those things?” Owen asked.

“They appear to be the undead.”

“Appear?”

“Yes. I have encountered zombies before, but something about these are different somehow. Something in their blood, something very ancient.”

“Older than you even?”

“Allot older.”

“How are we going to get out of this?”

“We’ll make it Owen, I promise you.”

“I wish I could be as brave as you.”

“There is no need for you to feel ashamed.”

“I wish I wasn‘t just a scared little boy. All my life I’ve been afraid. All my life I’ve been weak. I wish I had powers, I wish I could fight with you. I wish…I wish I was stronger.” Owen sobbed beginning to cry.

“You are Owen. You always will be to me, that is what matters. As for the here and now, I’ll be strong for both of us.” She told him as she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

With the cries and moans of the undead outside that hammered uselessly at the armored truck Abby and Owen held one another amidst the blackness, Eventually the zombies would move on in such of easier prey.

********

In Japan Liz lie asleep on the couch in front of the TV after an exhausting day. Saya and the others had left some time ago and she had been looking forward to the peace and quiet. What she didn’t realize was that someone was staring at her. Castiel regarded her inquisitively taking special notice of the unusual babies growing in her womb when the sound of a hammer cocking on a really big gun sounded next to him. He turned to see Hellboy with the Samaritan in his hand.

“I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing in my home, but you got about two seconds to get out before I blow your head clean off your shoulders pal.” The demon threatened.

“There is no need to be afraid, I mean you no harm.”

“Who says I’m afraid?”

I assume I am speaking with Anung Un Rama?”

“I don’t go by that name.”

“Hellboy then?”

“That’s better.”

“You can lower your weapon.”

“Who are you?”

“I am Castiel, an angel of the Lord.”

Hellboy’s first initial thought was that this person had to be nuts. But something in his demon senses told him that it wasn’t a lie or lunacy of any kind.

“Why are you here?” Hellboy asked finally lowering his gun.

“I need your help.”

“With what?”

“The most powerful force of evil in all of existence has returned to this world and I am gathering all the heroes that I can to combat it.”

“Did the Bureau send you?”

“No, but I have been interacting with them.”

“No deal.”

“This isn’t about them, this is about saving this world. The things all of you fought earlier were merely one example of the chaos Gudis will bring to this world.”

“Not my line of work anymore.”

“This planet needs you. The human race needs you.”

“My wife and children to be are who need me. They are my responsibility now.”

“Do you want them to survive?”

“Is that some kind of threat?” Hellboy hissed getting in Cass’ face.

“I’m not the one who will be threatening them. If it isn’t stopped, you, your lover and her unborn children will die, make no mistake about that.”

“No.”

“You had no problem fighting the creatures.”

“This is my home, my turf. They threatened it so I took them out. Besides, I don’t take on anything I’m not sure I can handle anymore. I can’t afford to make reckless decisions and I sure as Hell ain’t gonna run off to fight some battle that I might not come back from and leave them behind.” He explained looking back over at Liz.

Cass hung his head for a moment before speaking again.

“According to an ancient prophecy you are suppose to bring about the destruction of this world by summoning the Ogdru Jahad, but you have proven time and again that why someone is created or what they are meant for has no bearing on the destiny they choose.”

Castiel’s words struck a memory chord in Hellboy. It sounded allot like something his father Professor Broom once said.

“I need you to make the right choice again now and help me defend this planet.”

“You need to leave now.”

“Please, just listen to reason.”

“Leave. Or I will shove this up your ***.” Hellboy menaced holding the hand of doom up to Cass’ face.

After a few more moments of silence Castiel finally disappeared.

********

The Bureau For Paranormal Research And Defense.

“I hope you realize just what in the Hell I was in the middle of.” Blade grumbled disapprovingly as he, Constantine and the agent stood in Tom Manning’s office.

“Trust me Blade, what’s getting ready to go down is allot bigger and nastier than any vampire nest,” Manning explained.

“Since when was teleport gates part of your guys’ repertoire?” John asked.

“We recently acquired a mystic specially trained for just such a task, saves us allot of time and trouble.”

“This your attempt at rebuilding the organization after all your big guns walked out on you?” John teased.

“Uh, yeah we had to let them go.”

“That ain’t what I heard.” John responded.

“Wasn’t it Hellboy and his friends telling you all to kiss their asses?” Blade further commented.

“A rather jaundiced account I’d say.” Tom claimed.

“That a fact?” Constantine continued prodding much to Manning’s chagrin.

“Listen, none of that matters and it’s not the reason the two of you were brought here. Something ancient and powerful has returned to Earth. Something so terrible that we are trying to rally every supernatural combatant we can find on the planet to face off against it and that includes you!”

“How powerful?” Blade asked.

“Planet shattering.”

“How ancient?” John questioned.

“We’re not exactly sure, but we’re thinking pre-creation.”

“What?” John said disbelievingly.

“Got any info?” Blade pressed on.

“There was the atmospheric disturbance that took place earlier this evening. A gruesome murder at a diner in Washington D.C. and now we’re getting scattered reports from all across the globe of increased monster activity.”

“And you think these things are connected?” John asked.

“According to one of our mystics they are.”

“Where is he, can we talk to him?” said Blade.

“Fraid not. Whatever this thing is, it didn’t like being spied on. The last time the mystic tried to pry he became seemingly possessed and then his head exploded. However it did deliver a message.”

“What message?” John queried.

“Children of the night…daddy has come home.”

“Nope, nothing ominous about that.” Constantine sarcastically snipped as he threw a stick of gum into his mouth.

“Do you have anything else?” Blade needled.

“I do.” Castiel suddenly said appearing behind them.

As everyone regarded the new arrival Constantine’s eyes narrowed as the angel’s wings became visible to his uniquely empowered perception.

“So, you’re an angel?’

“Yes, I am Castiel.”

“Great, I’m John Constantine.” John said a split second before blasting Cas with his Holy shotgun as the angel staggered back slightly.

Castiel looked down at the quickly healing wound and then back up at John with a somewhat confused look that everyone else shared.

“Just my way of saying hi.” John joked sarcastically.

“John Constantine, the hunter who has a problem with angels.” Cass finally observed reading residual energy from John’s aura.

“Oh ya think? What was your first clue Einstein?”

“I understand your prejudice, Selaphiel was completely mad.”

“And just where in the Hell were the rest of you when she was trying to raise Ramon from Hell?” John asked angrily.

“The only thing powerful enough to stand up to or stop an archangel is another archangel. The rest of them weren’t even remotely near your plane of existence when Selaphiel put her plot into motion. That is no doubt the reason that she waited until that time to act.”

“Yeah well Lucifer himself had to clean up the damn mess! Just how bad is it when public enemy number one has to be the one to swoop in and save the day?!” John scowled getting right in Cass’ face.

“How about we all try to calm down and focus on the problem at hand.” Tom butted in.

“He’s right John, bigger fish.” Blade commented.

“When you were lying upon the floor at the sanitarium, you pleaded for God’s help. Lucifer may have always made the claim that you were the one soul he would come up to collect himself, but without breaking the seals he wasn’t going anywhere.” Cass explained.

“You’re point being?”

“Just who do you think let him out long enough to stop Selaphiel?”

The revelation caught Constantine like a punch to the gut but part of him was still angry. For probably a solid minute John’s gaze remained fixed on Castiel with a hateful glare. Cass meanwhile remained stoic and enigmatic, his face betraying no emotion whatsoever.

“Eh, you’re still a bunch of dicks.“ John insulted him as he finally turned away.

“So what have you learned?” Manning asked.

“I know what we’re up against and it’s just getting started.” Cass warned.

[Mecha74]

Back at the S-mart out in the parking lot…

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Pepper asked.

“Long range sensors show no nearby zombie activity, you should be fine.” Tony told her.

“No, I mean you staying behind.” She corrected.

“No worries, I’ll be fine.” He assured her as she leaned in close for a kiss.

Afterward he opened the door of his car for her and she got in.

“Get her out of here.” He told Happy.

“Yes, sir.” He said as he drove off.

Tony watched them leave and then headed back inside. Meanwhile Marcus has been tied to a chair despite his protests. Hid wound had been tended to but they weren’t taking any chances.

“Zombies huh? Well, wouldn’t be the first time. I’ve got deadites constantly crashing this place like you wouldn’t believe. Damn things throw themselves at the store like a suicidal fly kamikazeing a bug zapper. You‘ve got a better chance of keeping a pedophile away from a playground, you know what I mean?” Ash pointed out, much to the discomfort of everyone present.

“So how long do we wait?” Sam asked.

“Well in the movies it can take anywhere from a few seconds to several hours depending.” Dean confessed.

“Dude, this isn’t a movie.”

“I know that damnit! But I got nothing else to go on and I ain’t letting him out of that chair until I’m sure!” Dean cursed.

“Don’t talk about this like I’m not in the room!” Marcus shouted angrily.

“Listen pal, we’re sorry, but we really need to be sure.” Dean told him.

“It’s okay Marcus, it’s probably nothing but we gotta be positive.” Hit-Girl assured him.

“She’s right sir. Of all the zombie types that we’ve encountered we’ve never actually came across any that turned others through bites.” Sam added.

“This should help.”, Tony said as he ran a sample of Marcus’ blood through the scanner he used back when he was suffering from palladium poisoning, “If there’s even the slightest irregularity in his blood we’ll know in just a few seconds.”

“I just want out of this damn chair!” Marcus grumbled.

“Here, maybe this’ll cheer ya up?”, Ash suggested showing him a poster of his favorite Penthouse model, “Oh and another thing,” He proceeded to say turning to everyone else nearby, “I don’t give a rat’s *** if it is the end of the world. If you break anything you’re buying it or I’ll take it out of your assess! Is that understood?!”

“Oh boy, this ain’t good.” Tony confessed as the blood tester finally gave a reading.

“What?” Marcus asked nervously.

“What’s it say?” Sam asked.

Tony turned it around to reveal a blood toxicity rate of 67%.

“Whatever is in the officer’s bloodstream it’s acting fast.” Tony told them.

“Oh crap, we are in a Romero flick!” Dean complained.

“So, what does that mean? What do we do?” Marcus stuttered on the verge of panic.

“Can you guys cure him?”, Hit-Girl implored turning back to Sam and Dean, “You guys know all about this supernatural stuff right?”

“There‘s no cure for any kind of zombieism that we know of.” Sam admitted.

“Bullshit! Do something you dicks!” Hit-Girl raged, her outward anger masking the despair she felt at losing the only other person in her life that she considered family.

Suddenly Castiel appeared in the room with Constantine, Blade and Buffy.

“Cass?” Dean said.

“Hello Dean.”

“And just who the Hell are you guys?” Ash demanded.

“I am Castiel, this is John Constantine, Buffy Summers and Blade.” He answered.

“Cass we’re glad you’re here, we’ve got a situation.” Dean explained.

“Yes, I can see that.” Cass observed looking at Marcus.

“Can you cure him?” Sam asked.

“No.”

“What? Why not? You‘ve healed people before, you even brought Bobby back from the dead. You pulled me out of Hell for Christ’s sake!” Dean spoke with a confused expression.

“The force that has come to Earth, raised the dead and infected this man is greater than my own. It’s power would simply cancel mine out.” He told them.

“So I suppose modern medicine would be of little use here?” Tony pondered aloud.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

But just then Marcus began to convulse violently as the veins all over his body began to pulse and bulge in an unnatural manner. As everyone turned their attention to him he suddenly went limp and hung seemingly lifeless in the chair.

“Marcus? Marcus!” Hit-Girl cried out rushing over to him as she grabbed his head and raised it back up.

But his eyes snapped back open and with an inhuman shriek he sank his teeth into Hit-Girl’s hand. With a pained scream she recoiled clutching at the wound as Dean yelled for everyone to stand back. Tony tried to follow after Hit-Girl but she shrugged him off and took off running. In an instant Ash stepped up with his boomstick in hand leveling it at Marcus’ head.

“Wait!” Castiel called out, “It can still be useful.” Cass stated as he strode up and abruptly punched his fist into the zombie’s gut with a flash of light as the creature howled in misery.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked.

“I believe the term you humans use is, reach out and touch someone.”

“So, what? You’re making a phone call?” Sam guessed.

“In a manner.”

“I don’t even want to know where the receiver is.” Dean observed.

The thing that was once Marcus suddenly emitted a terrible high pitched scream that forced anyone in the room that was merely human to clutch their ears in pain.

Finally Cass yanked his arm back out as the thing that was once Marcus stopped wailing and went limp once again.

“Fantastic, ruptured ear drums is exactly what I wanted for Christmas.” Ash fussed.

From another part of the store a scream was suddenly heard. Everyone turned in the direction they came from to see Hit-Girl walking back up to them wrapping the now cauterized bite wound.

“My God.” Dean muttered.

“Kid are you okay?” Sam asked.

“I’m fine.” She said with tears of pain still in her eyes.

“Are you sure maybe we should-”

“I said I’m fine damnit!” She hissed, angry at herself more than anyone else as she wrapped up her injured hand.

After that Castiel leaned in close to the body.

“I know you’re there. Come out and face me…Gudis.”

A moment later a low soft laughter could be heard coming from Marcus, a laughter that built in volume as Marcus’ voice changed in pitch until it was deep and booming. After this its head tilted up to look at everyone but remained silent.

“Nothing to say? Since when have you ever been at a loss for words?” Castiel questioned.

“How about a rhyme?” Gudis suddenly said as his head snapped up, “There was a young lady named Alice, who used dynamite for a phallus. They found her ******, in North Carolina, and part of her ******* in Dallas!”

“Okay, I know I’ve said this like million times tonight already but seriously, what the Hell?!” Dean spouted.

Likewise, everyone else present was equally stunned.

“Wow, tough crowd,” Gudis began to say, “Okay how about this one?! There once was a Nazi from Bardy, who invited his friends to a party! But instead of making stew they cooked up a jew!-”

“Enough!” Castiel berated cutting him off, “Why have you returned?”

“Well, isn’t it obvious? To take possession of this world of course. With both Heaven and Hell consumed by chaos now was the perfect time after all.”

“That doesn’t work for me, I’ve got a Victoria’s Secret fashion show to attend in New York next week.” Tony disapproved comically.

“Oh don’t worry it’ll still be there, and so will they, just in several pieces of course.” Gudis shot back.

“What are you?” Buffy asked angrily.

“You know who I am slayer, this isn‘t the first time we‘ve met.”

“What?”

“In Sunnydale on the Hellmouth you and your little girl scout troop faced off against legions of my Turokhan and achieved what you thought was a victory, until just recently that is.”

“The First Evil? That’s impossible. We destroyed you! We closed the Hellmouth and wiped out your entire army!”

“Foolish child. You can’t kill evil. As for my army? It was just one of many.”

“But we restored the balance, you shouldn’t be here.” Buffy protested.

“Indeed you did my dear. But others have succeeded in throwing the natural order of things into chaos in ways that your resurrection didn’t even come close to.” Gudis revealed shifting his gaze to Sam, Dean and Castiel.

“Why the Hell are you looking at us for?!” Dean bemoaned.

“Do you really need me to answer that question? You and the angels are responsible for my return. The entire attempted apocalypse debacle has thrown the whole of the cosmos out of alignment. I‘m amazed that existence itself hasn‘t just taken a big fat **** on itself and blown up.”

“We ain’t done yet.“ Buffy interrupted stepping in front of Gudis, “You hurt someone very close to me. And you will pay for it.” Buffy threatened fearlessly.

“Then your stupid little ***** witch should’ve minded her own business.” Gudis growled as Cass had to hold Buffy back, “What the Hell did you ****tards think I was going to do when I got here, open a convent? Death, misery, bloodshed and intestines are what’s always on my menu.”

“Interesting choice of words, the diner in D.C. was clearly your handiwork.” Cass accused.

“What, that? Merely stretching my legs is all. Do you have any idea just how long its been since I’ve inhabited a corporeal body? Had to make sure I wasn’t rusty, but hey whadda ya know, just like riding a bike.”

“You really like the sound of your own voice don’t you?” Blade sneered.

“Yes, actually I do, it just so happens I have a splendid singing voice too.”

“Whatever your plan, we will stop you.” Cass warned.

“Is that so? Leading the charge are we? You suddenly daddy’s favorite now? Well, I suppose with Michael and Zachariah out of the way that does open the door for you a bit doesn’t it? Amusing considering your track record. The last time an angel rebelled he was cast out. You on the other hand were brought back from death, twice no less. What makes you so special? Doing favors for the boss perhaps? Apparently you’ve been getting on your knees for something other than praying.” Gudis taunted with a sick smile, “It’s just as well, soon my offspring will inherit the Earth and angel, demon and mortal alike will get bumped down to the bottom of the food chain, well actually you will be the food more to the point.”

“Offspring?” Dean asked.

“Indubitably. Just what do you think you’ve been hunting all these years Dean? God may have created angels and mortals, and Lucifer demons. But who do you think it was that created all the things that slink, fly and or lumber through the dark of the night or for that matter the light of day?”

“The monsters. You. You’re their father?” Sam realized.

“Got a real sharp one here don’t we?” Gudis joked.

“The pick up in monster activity, it was an omen, a sign of your coming.” Constantine discerned.

“My my, you mammals really are almost intelligent aren‘t you.” Gudis teased further.

“I think we manage.” Tony retorted.

“Mind your tongue microbe, what I know about the vast cosmos would fry your petty little brain and make the combined IQ of your entire bloodline look like a bunch of slobbering Cro-Magnons.”

“Shove it ****** bag!” Hit -Girl hissed.

“You’re insane.” Buffy threw in.

“Still full of piss and vinegar are we? Oh please, here I sit in a room full of manic depressant/sociopaths with Daddy issues and you think I’m the crazy one?” Gudis cruelly jeered.

“Okay, can we kill him now?” Dean grunted.

Before anyone could even say anything a shotgun blast tore through Gudis’ torso. Everyone turned to see Ash with his boomstick outstretched and still smoking.

“Do those things ever work?” Gudis complained.

“As you can see, it isn’t that simple.” Cass said.

“Indeed it isn’t. And before this night is done I’ll be wearing all of your entrails like Mardi Gras beads.” Gudis threatened.

Just then Constantine pointed his gun at Gudis‘ head.

“No” Hit-girl protested.

“C’mon kid, ya know it’s gotta be done.” He told her.

“You’re right…that’s why I’m gonna be the one that does it.” She countered.

John finally turned to look at her and then slowly lowered his gun before backing away. Hit-girl then drew her own gun and raised it toward Marcus. She seemed to hesitate for a moment, it was then that Tony spoke up.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Dean added.

“No…it has to be me.” She pressed on.

A few more moments went by with Hit-Girl staring at Marcus, her finger resting over the trigger of her gun.

“Do you really think you have the guts? To shoot your beloved foster father?” Gudis ridiculed. He then began speaking in Marcus’ voice as he proceeded to cry and plead for her to spare him.

“Please Mindy. Please don’t kill me…” He sobbed.

For a moment there was a falter in Hit-Girl’s stare, her eyes watering slightly, but still she didn‘t lower her weapon.

“You stupid little *****! I never loved you! Who could, you’re a demented murdering psychopath and so was your worthless father!”

“Shut up.” She muttered.

“Oh just be honest with yourself, that’s the real reason that your mother killed herself, she couldn’t take it anymore! Living with a deranged maniac that she knew would turn you into one too! That‘s why she tried to kill herself and you! She hated your father and already hated you before you even squeezed out from between her legs!”

“I SAID SHUT UP!” Hit-Girl bellowed her gun hand shaking as she fumed with rage.

“Or you’ll do what?! You know I’m right! Go on, pull the trigger, if you can!” Gudis howled.

After several more moments, Hit-Girl finally spoke again, but this time very calmly.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered with tears in her eyes.

“You’re pathetic.” Gudis insulted.

“I wasn’t talking to you kunt. I was talking to Marcus…my other father.” She proclaimed, “As for you…go f**k yourself.” She swore finally pulling the trigger obliterating Gudis’ skull.

“Is that it? Is he dead now?” Dean asked.

“No, that was merely a drone that Gudis chose to speak through.” Cass explained.

“Was he telling the truth?” Buffy queried.

“He is what he said he was, the progenitor of almost every monster on the face of this planet. He is also a supremely powerful cosmic being as old as time itself. He is the true source of all evil.”

“What? I thought that was Lucifer?” Sam suggested.

“No, what many tend to forget is that Lucifer was not born evil, he was once the most favored among the Lord’s host of angels before he was corrupted by sin. It was Gudis who pushed him off that ledge. After Lucifer was cast out, Michael himself led a massive army of angels in a quest to seek out Gudis and make him pay for his blasphemy.”

“What happened?” Hit-Girl asked.

“After a fierce battle that saw thousands of archangels slain, Michael struck what we thought was the killing blow.”

“Thousands? I had no idea there were that many.” Sam discerned.

“Before Gudis there was.” Cass responded mournfully.

“And after that?” Blade threw in.

“We thought that Gudis was dead and that Lucifer had inherited his mantle so to speak.”

“So it was kinda like a Morgoth Sauron kinda thing then?” Dean suggested trying to wrap his head around what Cass was telling them, but a confounded look was the only response that Cass gave him.

“Never mind.” Dean dismissed.

“You’re joking right? This clown can’t be that tough.” Ash insinuated.

“You have to understand that much like we angels Gudis’ form and powers are greatly diminished here on Earth.”

“That crack you made about the Chrysler building?” Dean recalled.

“Yes.”

“So just how big is Gudis in his true form?” Constantine asked.

“I believe the recently finished Burj Dubai tower in the United Arab Emirates comes close.”

“Holy ****!” Dean yawped.

“His power is enormous, even here on Earth he is capable of a height of around 100 meters if he so chooses.”

“But there’s nothing about any of this in the bible?” Sam went on.

“There is in Hell’s bible.” Constantine offered.

“Hell has its own Bible?” Ash interjected.

“Yea.” Constantine acknowledged.

“And you’ve read it?” Ash guessed.

“Yes.”

“Oh what the Hell ever.” Ash whined.

“So how do we stop him?” asked Buffy.

“I say we rip his lungs out through his ***.” Hit-Girl offered.

“The kid’s got my vote, the bloodier and messier the better.” Ash added.

“If only it were that easy.” Blade said.

“Probably pointless to ask, but how about more modern weaponry?” Tony asked.

“Nothing man made can stop him.” Cass told him.

“I may have a suggestion.” Crowley said appearing a few feet away unexpectedly.

“Crowley!” Constantine rumbled hatefully lifting his gun and firing only to have the former crossroads demon disappear.

“Hello John, you should really switch to decaf.” Crowley joked suddenly on the other side of the room as everyone turned.

“You know him?” Sam asked Constantine.

“We’ve had dealings in the past.” John replied not taking his eyes off the demon.

“Hey screwhead, Benny Hill called, he wants his lame accent back.” Ash slandered.

“I’m Scottish moron. Besides, was I even talking to you nyaff?” Crowley snapped back as Ash stepped forward looking none too happy.

“I wouldn’t advise-” Castiel began to say.

“Go piss up a rope Clarence.”, Ash told him before going on, “Now I have no idea what you just said, but I’m pretty sure it was some kind of insult.”

“Sorry, fraid I don’t speak elementary school. You know you should really try reading a book. Oh wait that’s right, the last time you opened one it didn’t end so well for you did it?” Crowley finished as he began to snicker.

His laughter was cut short by the boomstick going off in his chest as he flew back against the wall before falling to the floor. But even then he still laughed.

“Ash Willams, when all else fails, shoot it. Well, I’ll say this for you, you’re entertaining, even if you do have the I.Q. of a jello mold.” Crowley commented as he got back up off the floor.

“Haven’t ran into too many things that could shrug off the boomstick in my time.” Ash revealed.

“He’s a demon…and a colossal prick.” Constantine spoke.

“Now if you’re done getting your knickers in a twist, I have information that you all may like to hear.” Crowley claimed.

“And just why in the Hell would we trust you?” Blade commented.

“Normally at this point I‘d simply tell the lot of you to get bent, but I need some assistance on this believe it or not.”

“And just why is that? If you’re the big bad super mojo king of Hell why would you need us?” Dean mocked.

“Not you troglodyte…him.” Crowley confessed looking over at Castiel.

“You need my help?” Cass spoke surprisingly.

“Yes, as much as it pains me.”

“And why would I help you at all?”

“Because if you don’t, Gudis will turn this entire planet into his own personal playground. Trust me, what Lucifer had planned for this world was downright civilized by comparison.” The demon explained as he slowly walked up to the angel until he was standing right in front of him.

Every impulse in Cass’ body was screaming at him to smite the devil spawn right on the spot and Crowley could see it on his face.

“Temper temper my sappy little seraph. Not that I wouldn’t love to see you try of course.” Crowley grinned.

“Just what is it that your trying to sell us?” Dean questioned.

“A weapon, a weapon powerful enough to put Gudis in his place.”

“Will it kill him?” Buffy asked.

“Not in a manner that humans would understand, but it will destroy his physical body and seal him away from this plane of existence. You can‘t truly kill evil, not in its purest form, simply beat it back.”

“You don’t mean…” Cass began to say.

“Absolutely.” Crowley cut him off.

“What? What is he talking about?” Dean interrupted.

“Excalibur.” Cass finally confessed.

“Excalibur? As in King Arthur and Merlin and knights and all that crap? You’re kidding me right?” Dean scoffed.

“No, that was a myth, but the sword is real and a powerful weapon of light and purity.”

“Which is why I need you to go fetch it.” Crowley said to Cass.

“And how exactly is that? It has been lost for a millennia.”

“Was.”

“You found it? How?”

“Just like I said when I brought you Death’s scythe last year, king of the crossroads, remember?”

“It was lost, what happened?” Tony asked.

“There was a time when Michael himself wielded Excalibur, it was what he used when the angels battled Gudis. But the sword itself has a will and lifeforce all its own. It cannot and will not allow itself to be used for evil or selfish purposes. When the archangels jumpstarted the apocalypse Michael went to retrieve it only to have the sword burn him when he grasped it. Afterward it removed itself from this reality never to be seen again, or so we thought.”

“Alrighty then, this has certainly been educational, but how’s about we get back to you actually finding the sword hmmm?” Crowley interrupted.

“Why does it have to be him?” Buffy inquired.

“Only a divine being or someone pure of heart can even seek out the sword or wield it. But even if we could get it there is no guarantee that it alone will be powerful enough to stop Gudis since we now know that it can‘t kill him.” Cass said turning back towards Crowley.

“I have a contingency plan for that actually.” The demon proposed as he outstretched his right hand, a ball of energy materializing in his palm.

“What’s that?” Sam asked.

Cass meanwhile scrutinized the glowing orb closely as his eyes squinted. His look of curiosity quickly changed to anger.

“You can’t be serious.” The angel declared.

“Serious as a heart attack chum.”

“What is it?” Dean interjected.

“They’re souls.” Cass answered.

“Human souls?” Buffy pushed further.

“Yes, more so, they’re the souls of children.” Cass went on.

“You son of a *****!” Dean snapped.

“Oh please spare me your self righteous simpering.” Crowley berated.

“What do you need those for?” Hit -Girl remarked.

“This will give Excalibur the extra kick it needs to get the job done. Granted most souls in general carry their own value, but the souls of children? You‘re talking 100% pure innocence, and power like you wouldn‘t believe.” The demon spoke.

“We’re not going to let you do this.” Constantine warned.

“Okay then, how’s about you all sod off?” He sassed back as everyone in the room erupted into a caterwauling chorus of angry protests.

“Does anyone here have a better suggestion?! Besides the angel’s suicidal plan to simply throw bodies at this thing and then hope that you don’t die!?!” Crowley barked contemptuously silencing them all, “This is the only chance we’ve got and you bloody well know it!”

But just then Tony stepped up with one of his hand gauntlets aimed directly at the demon’s head. Crowley turned his head to look over at him.

“You might be able to shrug off conventional weaponry, but let’s see how you handle a pointblank beam blast to the skull?” Tony proposed.

“Go right ahead mate. All you’ll be doing is screwing the pooch royally.”

“Cass? Is he right?” Dean asked.

After a long and almost painful sigh he finally answered, “Yes.”

“Alright then, I have a spell that will help you pinpoint the location of the sword, considering it is currently in another dimension.” Crowley informed him.

“Very well, let’s get this ov-”RIIIIIIP! Castiel was suddenly cut off by a fist punching through his back and out the front of his chest as everyone else looked on in horror and dismay. Crowley in the meantime vanished into thin air.

“Thanks for the intel.” Gudis smiled rising up behind the angel. As he did so the formerly human and mangled Marcus regenerated and transformed growing to a seven foot stature. His body swelled, morphed and contorted until Gudis’ true physical form manifested through his former drone. His body was covered in a combination of scales, fur and bony armor with writhing tentacles, a large pair of wings, a long tail, and a dragon like head. It was as if bits and pieces of every monster that had ever walked the earth could be seen in his visage.

He abruptly yanked his arm back out as every hero present with projectile weaponry unloaded all that they had into him, but it didn’t even phase him. Tony activated his jet propulsion spear tackling into Gudis as they both went crashing out through the front window of the store. John, Blade, Buffy and Hit-Girl ran outside while Sam and Crowley stayed inside. Ash meanwhile proceeded to throw a tantrum over the shattered window.

“There’s no way we’re going to be able to catch up with them on foot.” Constantine spoke.

“So what do we do?” Hit-Girl asked.

“There’s nothing we can do for now.” Blade said.

“We can’t let him fight that thing alone!” Buffy blurted.

“Are you gonna suddenly sprout wings and fly? And if you do are you gonna teach us how?” Blade bit back.

“He did it to buy us some time. Besides, we have a more immediate problem.” John told them as they looked back inside.

*********

Gudis and Iron Man flew for some distance before crashing down in the center of town. As the two combatants rolled across the pavement of the burg’s main drag they separated and quickly sprang back up. Tony hit Gudis with a vast array of beams that seemingly had no effect on him as he lumbered toward him.

“I advise a discontinuance of such tactics sir.” Jarvis warned.

“Why, because its obvious that it isn’t working?”

“Yes, as well as the fact that scanners indicate that this creature is an energy absorber, You’re only making him stronger.”

“Guess we’ll just have to do things the old fashioned way.” Tony concluded as he disengaged his weaponry and hurled himself at Gudis connecting with a series of punches.

However the strikes barely fazed him as he blocked one of Tony’s swings and backhanded him through a pawn shop and clear out the back wall of said structure leaving a gaping hole.

“Readouts also indicate strength and molecular density that exceed all known forms of scientific measurement. Force of physical strike caused momentary power failure, do not recommend hand to hand combat.” Jarvis computed as Tony dug himself out of a dumpster he had landed in.

“And you couldn’t have told me that before I tried slugging it out with him because?”

“Tactile contact with the subject was needed to properly calibrate and confirm preliminary sensor data.”

“Swell, glad I could be your personal guinea pig.” Tony jibbed sarcastically, suddenly though he heard a voice inside his head.

“Poor little Tony, so desperate for daddy’s approval, so willing to please. Trying to pretend that you could be part of a normal family despite the fact that you are a descendant of mass murderers.” Gudis telepathically spoke as he slowly walked through the decimated pawn shop.

“My forefathers were patriots, men who wanted to protect their country.”

“Is that a fact? Did you ever consider that what Vanko said was right? As if Obidiah Stain’s treachery didn’t make it clear enough.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“I’m inside your head boy. The mind knows all, sees all. Your subconscious is an open book to me.”

“Great, while you’re in there help me remember where I last put my car keys.” Tony joked.

“You’ve got a sense of humor, I like that. Too bad it’s merely a defense mechanism to mask your insecurities. The nagging doubts about your father‘s past.”

“Doesn’t matter, I know the truth.”

“You know what S.H.I.E.L.D. has told you, that doesn’t make it the truth. Have you ever considered that the reason they’re interested in you is the same as the government’s?”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Your friend Rhodey said it himself, a potential threat to the security of the nation. Tell me Tony, have you ever heard the phrase absolute power corrupts absolutely?”

“You’d know more about that than I would.”

“You can’t lie to me, I can hear your thoughts. I know what you really feel. I can see what you keep buried deep down where no one else can see.”

“What are you my shrink?” Tony snarked as Gudis abruptly closed the gap between them pinning him against the wall of the alley.

“If it is really so hard to believe then allow me to open your skull and show it to you.”

“Doesn’t look like you have a can opener to me.”

“No worries, all I need are my bare hands.” Gudis grinned maliciously.

“Jarvis reroute all primary power to the unibeam now!” Tony yelled as an incredible blast emanated from his chest that sent Gudis crashing back through the pawn shop and hurtling for a solid mile.

“Target has already recovered and is quickly closing in on your position.” Jarvis informed as Tony exited the alley only to be rammed head on as they both smashed through several abandoned vehicles left in the street. They kept going until they collided with another building as the force of their impact cracked and indented brick.

“Time to see if the tin man really does have a heart!” Gudis threatened with a laugh as Tony heaved back and shoved his right hand into Gudis’ open maw firing a blast that blew out and cauterized the inside of his skull as energy erupted from every orifice.

“Jarvis are there any other human survivors nearby?”

“Negative.”

“Pinpoint me the nearest gas main now!” Tony demanded

“Complete.“ Jarvis told him as he drilled into Gudis and took a running leap through the air.

They plowed down through the street and into the sewer system just as Gudis finished regenerating. A split second later Tony blasted the gas main and leapt back up as it detonated into an incredible fireball that shook buildings miles away.

“Well, that was fun.” Tony said from a distance.

“Your notions of amusement escape my logic sir.” Jarvis stated.

“Don’t they always?” Tony answered as suddenly Gudis exploded up through the pavement directly in front of Tony.

“Still aflame he connected with a terrible punch that fractured Tony’s suit, but before he could react Gudis proceeded to land more as he methodically stripped the armor off of him!

“Warning, outer hull breach! Armor compromised! Primary power cuplink damaged!” Jarvis alarmed.

Tony tried to fight back but it was to no avail as one final punch practically sent Tony flying out of what remained of his suit as he rolled across the ground.

“Just like ripping a snail out of its shell.” Gudis implied.

A badly battered Tony looked up as Gudis bore down upon him snatching him up by his throat.

“I could kill you right now if I wanted to…but it would be all too easy. And not nearly as entertaining for me.” Gudis professed.

“Well, I could do a little dance for you if you want but my singing voice may be a bit rusty.” Tony coughed out in Gudis’ grasp.

“Oh I have something quite different in mind.” Gudis told him as he let out an inhuman wail.

He then clocked Tony just hard enough to knock him unconscious before dropping him. He then slowly lifted into the sky upon his wings as the howls and moans of the undead began to draw near, summoned by their master’s call.

“Dinner…is served.” Gudis announced as he faded into the shadows.

Within a matter of moments the zombies converged on the prone human, but before the first one could reach him someone bolted out of the darkness at blinding speed and whisked him up into the sky. They roared and snapped voraciously at the meal that had eluded their grasp as Tony was flown away.


*********


“Cass! Cass?! Are you okay?! Can you heal this?!” Dean exclaimed propping the mortally wounded angel up as everyone else watched with despair.

“No, I‘m, I’m afraid not…I a-am dieing.”

“What, why? I thought you said that only the blade of an angel could kill an angel!”

“Gudis is…is infinitely more powerful than…th-than any archangel.” The maimed celestial rasped painfully.

“Can anyone here heal an angel?!” Dean stammered looking back at everyone else.

The gathered heroes wore looks of somber dread upon them, it gave Dean his answer.

“What?! None of you?! Seriously?! Hell half of you have died more times than a cat with nine lives and there’s not a damn thing any of you can do?! Constantine! Man, level with me, you’re the big spell caster here!”

“There’s nothing I can do.”

“Bullshit!”

“There are spells to heal and bring mortals back from the dead but not immortals! I don’t have that kind of power!”

“Well we can’t just let him die damnit!”

“I can bring him back.” Crowley casually said getting everyone’s attention as he reappeared.

“What?” Dean blabbed in surprise.

“Sure, a cakewalk really. But we’ll have to go through the proper channels of course.”

“What channels?!” Sam blasted.

“Oh, come now boys, you two of all people should already know the answer to that one.” The demon replied.

“You miserable worthless-.”

“Leopard spots, etc, etc.” Crowley cut Dean off.

“What’s he talking about?” Hit-Girl asked.

“Crowley is a crossroads demon that can grant any wish you desire for the price of your soul.” Constantine advised her.

“So it’s not enough that you already have Sam’s soul?! Fine you want my soul, take it then you *******! It ain‘t like enough of you demonic dickweeds haven‘t juggled it around already!” Dean yelled.

“As tempting as that is there are actually two other souls in this room that are far more valuable.” Crowley admitted looking back at the rest of the group.

“Two? You want two?!” Sam roared angrily.

“Well, of course. This ain’t just any wanker you want me to heal it’s a bleedin angel! Gonna be expensive.” He retorted as he walked towards the other heroes, “You.” He smiled pointing at both Buffy and Constantine.

“Figures.” John spat sarcastically.

“Why us?” Buffy asked.

“Do you really need me to answer that? You two have stopped more apocalypses, killed more evil *******s and cheated death more times than anyone else in this room. Everyone and their first, second and third cousins downstairs is seriously jonesin for a piece of your collectives bums. The kind of leverage I could have with both of your souls on a leash is immense. It’s a deal that I simply can’t pass up.” He clarified.

“What if they say no? You need the angel right now as much as we do.” Blade challenged.

“True, but we all know that none of you will just stand idly by and let him die if there is something that can be done to prevent it regardless of the cost. That’s what makes you heroic types so wonderfully predictable in your own lamentable self sacrificing way.”

The situation was a tense one. For several moments no one said anything.

“Clock’s a ticking kiddies, what’s it gonna be?” Crowley prodded.

[Mecha74]

“Fine.” Constantine finally answered as Crowley leaned in and planted a kiss on the hunter. Afterward John spat off to one side thoroughly disgusted.

“Oh. I sooo didn’t need to see that.” Ash complained.

“Excellent, and you luv?” The demon uttered turning to Buffy.

“Alright, do it.” She agreed contemptuously.

“Superb.” Crowley replied as he touched his lips to hers as well. He then turned and merely snapped his fingers. Suddenly the gaping hole in Cass’ torso was gone.

“Hey, since you’re in a kissing mood I got something you can kiss.” Ash insinuated but Crowley ignored him.

“Cass, are you okay?” Sam asked as the angel got back up.

“Yes.” He rumbled giving Crowley a filthy look.

“You know, you could try being a little more grateful to the demon that just saved your ***.” Crowley teased.

“What is the term that Dean likes to use? Oh yes…eat me.” Cass insulted.

“There now that wasn’t so bad now was it? Now we can get back to the matter at hand.” Crowley jovially mused.

Just then however Abby arrived on the scene with Tony in her arms, Owen awkwardly peeked out from behind her. Blade proceeded to start sniffing the air as his hand slowly moved toward his sword.

“What the?” Dean began to say as both he and Sam drew their weapons.

“Is he-” Buffy started to ask.

“He is still alive. He’s just unconscious.” Abby explained.

“Who are you and how in the Hell are you carrying him like that?” Hit-Girl spoke up.

“She’s a vampire.” Blade cut in.

“Yeah, one that we tangled with earlier, a nasty one too.” Dean added.

“What did you do to him?” Sam asked angrily.

“What I did was save his life.”

“And you expect us to buy that?” Dean spat back.

The only response she gave was an angry look.

“Where is Gudis?” Castiel butted in.

“After their battle he left Iron Man to the zombies.”

“I suggest you put him down.” Constantine told her.

“How do I know you will not attack me once I do?”

“You don’t.” Buffy warned.

“And that wasn’t a request.” Constantine commanded raising his gun as well.

“If I wanted him dead he would already be in pieces by now.” Abby stated.

“We ain’t gonna tell you twice.” Blade said unsheathing his sword as Owen stepped out in front of her.

“Oh Christ not this again!” Dean grumbled.

“I won’t let any of you hurt her, if you want to kill her you’ll have to kill me too.” Owen demanded.

“Who the crazy bat **** is this?” Ash asked.

“He’s human. Probably a familiar in training.” Blade guessed.

“Why would you protect her?” Buffy asked.

“She’s my friend.” Owen responded.

“Kid, we’ve been through this once tonight already!” Dean bellowed.

“Why are you doing this?” Sam questioned in complete confusion.

“She saved my life.”

“What?” A baffled Hit-Girl remarked.

“She’s just using you kid.” Blade bluntly announced.

“No! We take care of each other! We’ve been looking out for each other all this time. We’re all we have.” Owen desperately justified.

“Think what you want. Thing is I don‘t like this Gudis thing any more than the rest of you.”

“Even so, why help Tony?” Buffy insisted.

“A peace offering.”

With that Abby gently laid Tony down.

“A sanguijuela, thought your kind were extinct.” Blade admitted.

“You would know wouldn’t you.” Abby came back, she could smell the blood of her particular breed of vampire still on the daywalker’s blade. Even though the traces in question were years old and invisible to the naked eye.

But suddenly the sounds of the undead began to loom in the distance. When they finally came into view they were massing in the hundreds.

“Oh ****! There’s too many to fend off! We need to fortify this place!” Dean suggested.

“Kinda difficult with the shattered store window dontcha think?” Hit-Girl mentioned.

Just then Cass, in a rare display of his superhuman strength ripped up part of an aisle divider and lodged it in the gaping hole while everyone else scattered searching for power tools to further reinforce the makeshift barricade.

“We must find Excalibur, now.” Cass maintained.

“I know a spell that can open a gateway to its location, but it’s going to take some major power to open it. This is gonna take both of us.” Crowley conveyed as he began to recite an incantation while both he and Castiel outstretched their hands. A split second later a swirling vortex-like portal opened.

“Once he gets there how is he supposed to get back?” Dean yelled over the noise of the gateway.

“Excalibur has the power to get him back if he finds it!” Crowley yelled back.

“And if he doesn’t find it?”

“Then he can consider this a permanent vacation!”

With that Cass dove in and the portal slammed shut with a crack of thunder.

He found himself standing in a vast box canyon. Its rocky terrain covered with sparse greenery. Outstretching his hand once more he closed his eyes as he allowed his unique senses to seek out the location of Excalibur. He began to slowly turn, his hand acting like a diving rod to pinpoint where he needed to search. When he finally stopped he opened his eyes to see what appeared to be a large structure off in the distance.

“There.” He said to himself as in the blink of an eye he was in front of the installation.

There was a sign that looked to have a military designation to it of some kind. It read ‘Blood Gulch Blue Base outpost’. A moment later someone clad in blue space age armor emerged from a doorway and looked over at Castiel.

“Hello.” Caboose said innocently.

*********

In an undisclosed location, a meeting of the most insidious kind was taking place. Several monster alphas had gathered together. Various creatures and beings that under any other circumstances would not be seen together and in some cases even try to kill one another. But that was the past, now was all that mattered, and as Gudis hovered down out of the sky in his full monster form every alpha present fell to their knees. Some out of respect, some out of fear, some both.

“Rise my children.” He commanded as he slowly landed in the center of them.

“It is true, you have returned to us oh master. We thought ourselves bereft forever.” One of them spoke.

“You would have been, if not for the intervention of outside forces.”

“Command us master, what is your bidding?” A second asked eagerly.

“I want every inhuman thing that slinks across the Earth to rise up and come together at last. For too long we have been divided. Serving our own agendas and desires, and even fighting amongst ourselves. It has made us weak. We have been reduced to lowly scavengers, hunted and humiliated by curs who belong firmly pressed beneath our heels like the insects they are.”

“Master, several alphas have been taken prisoner by a former crossroads demon named Crowley. He is currently trying to rule Hell in Lucifer’s absence and is seeking purgatory by interrogating and torturing the captive alphas.” Another said.

“We know where he is holding them. It would be a simple matter to assault the location and free-”

“Leave them,” Gudis cut him off bluntly, “Any kin of mine weak and pathetic enough to allow themselves to be taken captive by the likes of demons and mortals do not deserve to be saved.”

“What is your plan then my lord?”

“We take back this world. Back from the humans who think they own it, the demons that seek to destroy it, and the angels who believe it is theirs to toy with.”

“What of Crowley and his quest for purgatory?”

“He shall never find it. And in time we shall take hold of it and Hell. And then finally Heaven itself.”

“Heaven? But master, what of God, what of his wrath?”

“God isn’t home anymore.” Gudis answered as everyone present burst into a whispering chorus of shock and confusion.

“Where is he?”

“That even I cannot answer. What I do know is this, he shall regret his abandonment. For if and or when he finally does return he shall find that his kingdom is no longer his. With every realm that I take my power grows a hundred fold. Once Earth, Hell and Purgatory are mine I will have the power to slay God himself. And our race, the only one that shall remain once the worthless angelic, demonic and mortal vermin are washed away, shall be the one true master race once and for all. And all that exists shall be ours my children. The future is bright for our kind and we shall drink and bathe in the blood of our enemies.” He finished as the alphas began to expound a mixture of cheers, roars and howls.

“What about right now master?”

“Now? We begin with this planet. Even the longest of journeys begins with but a single step.”

*********

In the store the defenses had been fortified as the undead scraped and pounded away outside, but for now everything was holding as those trapped inside awaited Castiel’s return.

“Friggin zombie apocalypse,” Ash grunted, “Well if I’m gonna die tonight there’s two things I wanna do first!” He proclaimed as he walked up to Buffy and slapped her on the *** as her eyes went wide.

“Gimme some sugar baby!” He grinned as he spun her around and tried to plant a lip lock on her.

Unfortunately for him the only reaction he got was a kick to the groin as he fell to his knees.

“Ah jeez lady can’t you grant a guy who’s probably gonna die his last request?” He squeaked out in a chipmunk like voice clutching his crotch.

“Touch me again and you‘ll need two prosthetic hands instead of just one.” Buffy threatened before turning and walking away as Ash smiled.

“Yeah…she wants me.” He gloated still in a squeaky voice, “Well there’s still plan B!” He went on as he got up and painfully walked towards the liquor aisle.

Meanwhile Tony shook his head as he cleared the cobwebs, his eyes slowly fluttering open to see Sam and Buffy kneeling over him.

“Hello beautiful. Am I in Heaven?” Tony smiled as Buffy smiled back.

“Okay, I hope you’re talking to her.” Sam joked.

”Indeed I am. Am I dead?”

“No, you‘re not dead.” Buffy answered.

“How am I not dead? Last thing I remember was being peeled out of my armor like a banana and stuck in a chokehold.”

“She saved you.” Sam told him as he pointed at Abby watching nearby.

“You’re kidding me right?”

“She’s not what she appears to be, she’s a vampire.” Buffy informed him.

“I guess I should thank you.” Tony said to her.

“You‘re welcome. Truth is all that matters to me is that me and Owen be allowed to go our own way when this is over. No offense.”

“None taken.” Tony confessed.

Buffy watched Abby and Owen together. Abby's demeanor toward the rest of them was cold and defensive. But I supposed being what she was in a room full of people whose mission in life was to hunt and kill things like her it was to be expected. But when she was with Owen she changed completely. She smiled and she laughed, as if she were still a child. The boy obviously brought something out of her, something she probably hadn’t felt in God only knows how long. To watch her hugging and kissing Owen playfully one wouldn’t even begin to suspect what she was or what she was capable of. Buffy recognized that look in her eyes when she gazed at Owen, because she remembered seeing it every day in the mirror when she first fell in love with Angel.

“Maybe they really do love each other?” She thought to herself.

Meanwhile Tony got up and walked over to Constantine whose eyes were deadlocked on Blade on the other side of the room.

“Don’t suppose you would mind telling me what the deal between you and Blade is? You’ve been glaring at him ever since we got here.” He said.

“He murdered someone close to me.”

“What? Why?”

“She was a vampire.”

“I see.”

“She was newly turned and hadn’t fed yet. The kind that bit her was part of the Karaku bloodline, which is one of those rare types that can actually be cured if they are administered a special potion before they feed for the first time. Me and her were investigating and trying to find the location of a huge nest of them. But it just so happens that Blade was too. When we found the nest Blade was already cleaning it out, but a fleeing straggler sunk his teeth into her before I could take it out. I hid her at my place while I made a mad dash to gather what I needed for the cure. But when I got back…”

“Was Blade there?”

“No, but he had been. There was barely enough left of her to even tell what she once was. Blade was operating like a bloodhound and sought out every single one that got away from the nest no matter where they ran to. I figure that he was able to smell the Karaku infected blood in her veins as she slowly began to turn.”

“Maybe he was unaware that there was a cure?”

“He knew, he just didn’t care. And when this is all over with. I am going to kill him.” Constantine swore.

*******

In another part of the store Owen was on his way back from the restroom when he decided to stop and help himself to the candy aisle when he turned to see Crowley.

“Well, there my fine chap, have you given any consideration to my offer?”

“Um, I’m still thinking about it.”

“I see. What if I told you that you had the power to stop all of this.”

“Stop what?”

“Gudis, the undead plague, everything.”

“How?”

“That’s why I need your soul me boy.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Souls contain great power, especially those of children. It will help us stop him once and for all. You could be a hero Owen, you could help save the world and on top of all that have everything that I already promised you before.” Crowley told him when suddenly Dean appeared behind him.

“What in the Hell are you doing?”

“Trying to seal a deal, before you so rudely interrupted.” Crowley said turning to face him.

Dean looked at Owen for a moment and then back at Crowley.

“I want a word with you, alone.” Dean hissed.

“What going to whisper sweet nothings in my ear?” Crowley joked as he followed Dean.

“I’m not going to let you do this.”

“We’ve already been through all of this Dean. If we want to stop Gudis this is how it has to be. So shove you bleeding heart BS kay?”

Dean took a swing at Crowley only to hit nothing but air.

“As your friend Bobby would say,” Crowley began to say as Dean spun around, “Do you want his world to end bloody, idget?”

“Does the kid even realize what you’re going to do, what it is you’re going to be taking from him?!”

“Actually, he does. That’s the whole point nimrod.”

“What?”

“In order for the spell I need to cast on Excalibur to work one of the children whose souls I take needs to be completely aware of what they are getting into and what it will cost them and then, freely of their own will still choose to give their soul to me. And on top of all that like the other children I’ve already bought give the soul for a selfless reason. It’s the linchpin of this whole thing. Most people just ask for money and or power. Like Adolf Hitler.”

“What that was you?”

“How else do you think the Fuher found the spear of Longinus?”

“So World War 2 was your fault?!”

“Indirectly.”

“Well the Axis lost *** clown so hey, you botched that one!”

“Did I?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Why do you think the Allies won?”

“You are so full of ****.” Dean spat.

Crowley let out a frustrated sigh before going on.

“Alright, getting back to the matter at hand. Let me put it to you in a different way that even your obviously oxygen deficient brain can process. Do you want Lisa and Ben to survive this?”

“Don’t even speak their names you *******!” Dean threatened as he grabbed Crowley by the collar of his suit.

“It ain’t me you have to worry about. But I can guarantee you that if Gudis isn’t stopped? Her, her boy and everyone that you have ever known or loved will die in unspeakable ways…or worse yet, they won’t.”

“Why the Hell should we trust you? You had your own agenda when you helped us take out Lucifer, what reason do we have to believe that things are any different now?!”

“You don’t, but then again you really don’t have a choice…do you?,” Crowley started to say with a grin, “ Now if you don’t mind, could you please let go of my suit, it cost more than your car.” He finished.

********

Off in the far corner of the store alone Hit-Girl sat upon the floor with her gun in hand. Though she had cauterized her wound, deep down she knew there was no hope for her. It was only a matter of time before she ended up like Marcus. With that she slowly put the gun barrel in her mouth as her finger hovered over the trigger. She knew what she had to do, but still she hesitated. The truth was she didn’t want to die, but she didn’t want to become one of those things either.

She broke out in a cold sweat as her hand began to shake with tears in her eyes. She was just about to pull the trigger when-

“You’re not really going to do it are you?” Abby suddenly said off to her right.

“Leave me alone, I don’t want anyone to see this.”

“What if I told you there was another way? A way that didn’t involve suicide?” Abby revealed much to Mindy’s wonderment.

*******

Meanwhile Castiel’s attempts to open a dialogue with Caboose were not going well.

“Excalibur.” Castiel repeated.

“Excelsior!”

“No.”

“Alka Seltzer!”

“No.”

“Expedition!”

“No!”

“Excementosis!”

Castiel paused for a moment after that one, “I don’t even know what that means.”

“Excedrin? Do you have a headache? Maybe you should lie down, Church says I give him headaches all the time, then he yells at me…allot.”

“Just let me come inside, I know that it’s in there I will find it myself.”

“Hey Caboose what are you whoa who the Hell are you?” Tucker asked suddenly noticing Cass.

“Please, time is of the essence, you must allow me entry.” Cass pleaded.

“Damn Caboose we thought you were just out here talking to yourself again.”

“I was, but then the birdman showed up. He has pretty wings.”

“I don’t have time for this I must- Wait, you can see my wings?” Cass asked Caboose in shock.”

“Sure, Donut has wings too, only his are in his pants.” Caboose revealed leaving Cass more confused than ever.

“Dude I do not even want to begin to know how you know that.” Tucker said adding his own befuddlement to the mix.

Meanwhile though they were all being watched from afar…

“Well, lookie there, looks like Blue base got another new recruit.” Sarge spoke.

“He doesn’t look like a new recruit to me, he’s not even wearing any armor.” Grif whined.

“Shut up Grif! How am I supposed to see what the blues are saying if you keep flapping your mouth.”

“See what they’re saying? The Hell?! That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Of course it does, I’m an expert lip reader.”

“They’re wearing their helmets you idiot!”

“Simmons?”

“Yes sir.”

“You have my permission to shoot Grif…again.”

“Yes sir, thank you sir.”

“You are such a suckass.” Grif complained.

“Hey! That’s Lieutenant senior first class suckass to you private!”

Back at Blue base Castiel had lost his patience and proceeded to go inside. A quick teleport later he found himself in Tucker’s room. He however was not prepared for what he found when he got there, which happened to be Grif’s sister…completely naked.

“Hi there!” She said with a wide grin as Castiel balked in utter surprise.

“Pardon…me. I-I am sorry for intruding,” Cass blabbed clumsily attempting to divert his eyes from her naked form.

“Hey, your cute, you wanna get kinky?” She asked nonchalantly.

“What?”

“You know, get down and dirty! I don‘t have a gag reflex you know!”

“Gag reflex?” Cass asked in complete ignorance as Grif’s sister giggled dropping to her knees in front of him.

It was then that Tucker burst in having heard the voices.

“Dude what are you doing in my room? That is not cool!” He groaned.

“Hey a threesome! Awesome!” Grif’s sister squealed.

“All I am trying…to do…is find…is find,” Cass tried to explain awkwardly while simultaneously attempting to stop Grif’s sister from unzipping his pants, “Is find…Excalibur!”

“What the Hell is going on?!” Church yelled appearing behind Tucker, “Oh man you’re screwing Grif’s sister again?! Don’t you guys ever sleep?!”

“A four way? Oh Hell yeah!” Grif’s sister exclaimed as she flung herself onto Tucker’s bed with her mouth wide open and her legs spread.

“Dude, seriously?!” Church gasped.

“Hey man, I’ve got needs! Bow chica wow wow!” Tucker answered.

“Hey is this gangbang gonna happen or not?” Grif’s sister nagged.

“And who the Hell is this?” Church asked looking at Castiel.

“A major buzz kill that’s trying to mack on my baby that’s what!” Tucker bellyached.

“ENOUGH!” Castiel commanded in a thundering voice as he outstretched his hand. As he did the entire base began to shake as a hole suddenly exploded in the floor.

“Dude! What are you doing to my room?!” Tucker bellowed.

From deep within the hole a faint glimmering could be seen as eventually rising up from what seemed like a bottomless pit came what appeared to be a useless rock. It shined with a brilliant luminescence as it hovered for a moment and then finally nestled into Castiel’s hand.

“You put a giant hole in the floor for a stupid glowing rock?” Church groaned.

“Glowing rock? It ain’t radioactive is it? I don’t wanna be rendered sterile or anything.” Tucker warned.

Church then looked at Tucker considering his statement before turning back to Cass.

“Hey dude how about you go ahead and bring that over here.” He commented.

But then the rock transformed in a bright flash into Excalibur as everyone else backed up in surprise.

“I see, it transmuted its own form so that no one else would discover it or know what it was.” Cass said as he abruptly teleported back outside where Caboose was.

Holding the sword out in front of himself he prepared to open a gateway back to his reality when he heard what appeared to be slowly building music. It sounded as if it were getting closer. A second later Cass was abruptly ran over by Sarge in the warthog! Grif and Simmons were with him.

“Ha Ha take that ya lousy blue!” Sarge gloated.

“Oh my gosh! You ran over the birdman…that was very rude.” Caboose observed.

Cass meanwhile was fine although pinned under the warthog.

“Um, while you’re down there I was just wondering if you could answer a question I had?” Caboose began to say, “Do you lay eggs?” He finished with a whisper as Castiel let out another frustrated huff.

“Uh Sarge I think he’s still alive.” Simmons said.

“Well then if need be we’ll run over him again!” Sarge proclaimed.

“Holy crap the reds ran over him!” Church said as he and Tucker ran outside.

“Good, that jackass was putting moves on my girl. And I can’t have that. After all I’m all the man she needs, bow chica wow wow!”

“Tucker! Are you nailing my sister again?!” Grif shouted angrily.

“Oh hey Grif.” Tucker responded.

“I am soooo gonna kick your ***!” Grif fumed.

“What I never touched her I swear, she’s not even here really.” Tucker lied.

“Hey guys what’s going on?” Grif’s sister suddenly said appearing in the doorway to the base still completely nude.

“I am going to ****ing kill you!” Grif menaced.

“It’s times like these that I wonder what it would be like to be a part of a normal, functional, not crazy garrison.” Simmons sighed.

Their quarreling was interrupted by Castiel throwing the warthog off of him sending the reds flying through the air.

“Hey check that out, he’s got retard strength, just like you Caboose.” Tucker discerned.

“It’s good to be special.” Caboose replied as Castiel got back up and proceeded to walk away.

“Hey man wait up!” Tucker yelled chasing after him, “Let me see that sword, please? Hey I got one too see? Wanna trade?” He asked as he whipped out his energy sword and attempted in a blundering fashion to do tricks with it…that is until he accidentally cut off his left hand.

“Ah damnit! Medic!” He yelled.

Castiel just kept on walking.

*******

Hell.

Inside Lucifer’s cage both he and Michael tore into each other again and again, in their true forms the power they wielded was terrible to behold. The towering ethereal beings repeatedly struck each other with attacks that if used on Earth would split the planet in two. But here in Hell after eviscerating one another their forms would merely reconstitute as the battle would begin all over again. In the cage with them of course was Sam’s soul shining with an incredible brilliance. In contrast to the appearance of its exterior the damage being inflicted upon it by the fallout of Lucifer and Michael’s constant warring was beyond traumatic.

In an instant though both of them suddenly found themselves pinned against opposite sides of the cell as Gudis appeared in between them dwarfing them both.

“Hello boys. I gotta say you put on one Hell of a show. You can’t buy entertainment like this.” Gudis joked.

“Gudis?!” Michael gasped in shock.

“Oh yeah, I’m back in black baby! Well okay mostly red but that’s from all the blood.” Gudis said as he walked over to Lucifer, “So how is my former pupil these days hmmm?”

“You *******! Everything that has happened to me was your fault!”

“Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, all I did was whisper in your ear. You were the one who actually took the jump. What happened afterward was on your head.”

“You betrayed me!”

“Of course I did you idiot! You were supposed to be my successor! You see unlike the two of you I’ve never underestimated my enemies, that‘s why you‘re both here now after all. Sometimes they surprise you, pulling things out of their asses that you would otherwise never see coming. That’s why I entertained the notion that someday even I might be beaten. So it made sense to groom someone to take my place. Oh you had such promise. Your hatred for the humans, the seeds of doubt and pride that were already bubbling within you. But then you had to go soft on me! I wanted someone who would cook this planet like a side of bacon but nooooooooo, you had to try to take it for yourself so that you could shape it in your own image! What I wanted was a destroyer not a happy homemaker! You loved this miserable mudball as much as your father did! You became useless to me. Any jackass can slaughter a few billion people, I should know, I‘ve done it!”

“Loathsome despicable abomination!” Michael cursed from the other side of the cage.

“Flattery will get you no where.” Gudis said walking over to the archangel.

“I smited you once and I shall do it again!”

“No, actually I recall beating you like a two dollar hooker and skinning a few thousand of your brothers and sisters. It was your Father’s magic pig sticker that did the work for you Mikey. Which last I heard told you to go **** yourself. Rather poetic I’d say. No, the only thing in all of creation that can actually kill me is your daddy…and daddy isn’t home right now. ” Gudis teased.

Michael began to speak once again but Gudis interrupted before he could even get the first syllable out.

“What was it that Zachariah used to do? Oh yes, now I remember. I’m hearing allot of this…”, Gudis started to say as he made talking gestures with his fingers, “…but all I want to hear is this.” He finished closing his fingers shut as Michael began to scream out in tortured pain.

“Hey, whadda ya know, that is kinda fun. Well, time for me to go.” Gudis announced.

“This isn’t over! You haven’t seen the last of me!” Lucifer screamed.

“Indeed you haven’t, neither of you. You see once I take the Earth I’m coming back here in force. Then we all know where I’m heading after that.” Gudis gloated with a grin as he turned and looked at Michael, “Ta ta for now boys. Feel free to start killing each other again after I’m gone.” He concluded before vanishing from the cage.

*******

Back on Earth.

“Owen what have you done?” Abby asked.

“Nothing…yet.”

“Tell me why you were speaking with Crowley.”

“He said that he needed my soul in order to stop Gudis.”

“You can’t give it to him Owen!”

“He said that he could get my parents back together, that he would make you human again!”

“The price is too high.”

“What choice do we have? If Gudis isn’t stopped we’re all going to die anyway!”

“He’s a Hellspawn Owen. Demons lie it’s what they do.”

“But when they make a deal do they have to honor it?”

Abby didn’t answer right away, part of her didn’t want to.

“Yes.”, She finally said, “From what I‘ve heard anyway.”

“I’m going to say yes, I’ve finally decided.”

“I can’t let you do that?”

“Abby, normally I would do anything you ask. But this is my choice to make. I‘m sorry.”

Nearby…

“What the Hell is your problem?!” Dean yelled as Constantine got in his face.

“You are! All of this is your fault, you and the damn angels!”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“The breaking of the seals, the imprisonment of both Lucifer and Michael back in the cage, the chaos in both Heaven and Hell. It was all a domino effect leading to Gudis’ return, it’s all on your heads!”

“Yea, well you know what? In about two seconds it’s gonna be my fist upside your head!”

“I’d like to see you try!”

“I’m gonna punch your teeth so far down your throat you’re gonna be able to chew your own *** out for pissing me off!”

“That’s enough, both of you!” Buffy shouted getting in between them, “We don’t have time for this! We have more important things to worry about!”

“And what the hell would you know?! The last time this thing came back to Earth it was your fault! You and your damn friends!” Constantine growled as Buffy turned to face him.

Meanwhile Dean’s eyes drifted to Buffy’s behind, which apparently looked rather nice in the tight jeans she was wearing as he cracked a smile.

“This isn’t about blame! What’s done is done and would you please stop looking at my ***?” She belted out in mid-sentence looking over her shoulder at Dean, who immediately averted his eyes with his hands clasped together in front of himself.

“Sorry.” He said sheepishly with a red face.

She then turned back to Constantine.

“If you still have an axe to grind when this is all over, you know where to find each of us I’m sure, but for now, shut the Hell up.” She ordered.

Constantine was probably about a second away from doing something violent when a sudden crash from the back store room got their collective attention. Outside the zombies had gathered by the thousands and had succeeded in breaking down the storage room door as they weaved through into the store itself finally.

“Oh damn!” Dean cursed as they all prepared to clash with the oncoming mass of ravenous necrotic monsters.

But before anyone else could attack Ash abruptly came charging out of the liquor aisle with every manner of gun imaginable and his trusty chainsaw as he became a whirling dervish of zombie homicide on crack and screaming like a demon possessed howler monkey! Apparently being inebriated did not hinder his ability to kill things. As he came out he rolled a huge cart full of loaded guns and ammo over to the others as the splatter began.

One of the zombies suddenly leaped onto Dean’s back, but before it could sink its teeth in a tiny fist punched out through the front of its face. Dean spun around to see Abby standing there still holding some of the slimy gray matter in her hand as Dean looked at her in shock. But there was no time for hesitation as they turned their attention back to the sprinting hungry mob that kept coming.

Despite a valiant effort it was quickly becoming obvious that they were going to be overwhelmed…that was until Castiel reappeared with Excalibur. In the mere presence of evil the sword seemingly came to life and with one swing a powerful energy shockwave reeled off of it that disintegrated every zombie for a solid mile! The energy in question passed through solid objects and people only laying waste to the undead or anything else evil that may have been in the area.

“Holy ****!” Dean exclaimed.

“So that’s it huh?” Constantine asked.

“Indeed it is.” Cass answered.

“Damn, just the sword by itself can do that?” Buffy said in astonishment.

“It’ll do allot more once the spell is cast upon it.” Crowley suddenly said reappearing once again as he turned to face little Owen, “It’s now or never little man.”

“You ain’t gonna believe this ****.” Ash boasted as he ran up to them and switched on a TV revealing a horrendous sight.

In the middle of downtown Chicago a towering monolith had appeared in the heart of the city. News choppers zoomed in on Gudis who stood atop the organic looking structure with what looked like a megaphone in his hand.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. You ever notice how in most movies its always Tokyo, New York or Los Angeles that gets trashed by monsters, aliens or natural disasters? Do you ever stop to ask yourself, why do they get all the attention? What makes them so special hmmm? I am a firm believer that any major city has the potential to be beautiful when engulphed in flames and littered with mangled bodies! I can promise you that I can and will put an end to this unfair favoritism/bias! And you can take heart in the fact that I can and will make good on my promises because I am not a politician. I am an equal opportunity destroyer who will make damn sure that everyone gets a fair shake, their shall be extinction, I mean distinction! Well, actually there will be both truth be told. I can also solve the city’s homeless problem, don’t feed the homeless, feed them to me! Disillusioned by modern religion? Believe in the Gudis gospel my children!!! You have the right to feel pain! You have the right to suffer! You have the right to experience an untimely death! And if you wish to have an attorney present, I'll kill him too! All are welcome, bring the kids! After all I simply adore children! Just keep in mind after that after eating 15 or 16 dozen I start to get really bad gas.”

It was then that a squadron of F-18 Super Hornets arrived on the scene and bombarded both Gudis and his citadel with missile fire.

“Can’t see jack in all the smoke.” Ash said.

“Who is Jack?” Cass asked honestly.

“It was a figure of speech. Like sayin you can’t see dick or ****?” Ash replied.

“Why would you want to see-”

“Done talking now!” Ash cut him off holding up his right hand.

When the smoke cleared however both Gudis and the citadel remained completely unharmed. Gudis proceeded to address them only to realize that a charred handle was all that remained of his megaphone.

“Damnit, would someone get me another megaphone!” He yelled down to one of his minions before unfolding his wings and bolting toward the jets. He smashed and blasted his way through every one of them until nothing but flaming shrapnel was left of them.

“Christ, freak’s skin must be harder than rock.” Dean suggested.

“Try something far stronger.” Cass told him.

“What’s stronger than rock?” Sam asked.

“Paper.” A voice suddenly said behind them as everyone turned to see Caboose standing there innocently.

“Uh, who is this?” Buffy asked.

“He must have followed me through the portal.” Cass realized.

“This guy is from the place you got the sword from?” Tony asked.

“MR. SPRINKLES!” Caboose blurt out rushing past all of them to stare at a cute and cuddly kitten mascot on the side of a kitty litter bag.

“So what? Are you going to send him back?” Constantine asked.

“No, we’ll take him with us.” Cass answered.

“Huh?” Dean reacted.

“He bears the mark, like you and several others in this room.” Cass went on.

“Oh you have got to be kidding me! Are you trying to tell me that this fruit loop is a warrior for God?!” Dean exclaimed in disbelief.

“I don’t like Fruit loops, I like Count Chocula. It has marshmallows.” Caboose said turning back towards them.

“This guy can’t be for real.” Dean further complained.

“Yes I am. I think I am. No wait, let me get back to you.” Caboose puzzled.

“Please tell me you’re going to take him back after this is all over? I don‘t like retards.” Ash grumbled.

“You must really hate your self then.” Hit -Girl jibbed as Ash gave her a funny look.

“Can’t argue with that logic.” Crowley agreed.

“That was awesome.” Dean confessed unable to contain a chuckle as Sam scratched the back of his own head with a smirk.

“From the mouths of babes.” Tony said.

“At least the kid’s honest.” Constantine added.

Behind them Blade could be seen cracking a smile.

“Yes, I will return him, providing we survive this.” Castiel finally answered, effectively destroying the moment of levity as everyone’s expressions went sour save Crowley’s.

“Thanks for the morale booster.” Buffy winced.

Just then Dean turned to Abby as he proceeded to try to speak but the words weren’t coming easily.

“Um listen uh, about what happened back with the zombies…I just wanted to…what I mean is-”

“You’re welcome.” She answered as Dean hung his head slightly embarrassed.

“Yeah.”

*********

Back in Chicago Gudis was reveling in his handiwork when someone shouted out to him from down below.

“Enough!” A voice commanded as he looked down to see what appeared to be a man with black hair wearing a black leather trench coat.

Gudis flew down to take a closer look at the fool who obviously welcomed death’s embrace by even being here.

“What do I my eyes spy?” Gudis muttered aloud as he took note of an S insignia upon the man’s chest as his own elevated perception told him what he needed to know, “Kryptonian?” He finished as Clark used his superspeed to quickly close the gap between them as he drilled a fist hard into Gudis’ jaw.

But Gudis rebounded from the strike and hit Clark in the chest with a punch of his own that sent him careening off of various objects and surfaces until he finally rolled and tumbled to a stop down the street. Clark got up clutching his sternum, he hadn’t felt anything like that since he fought the Kryptonian killing machine that Davis Bloome had merged with for a time. As Gudis advanced on him Clark decided to try a different tactic as he hit him with his heat vision full blast. But Gudis almost seemed to be drinking in the heat and energy as his pace quickened. Realizing that it wasn’t working he switched tactics as he blasted the abominable aberration with his cold breath instead. As Gudis got closer his movements also slowed down. Just as he reached Clark he froze solid, Clark than shattered him into pieces with another punch. But much to his dismay he watched the separate pieces proceed to melt the ice that encased them as Gudis’ body began using the heat vision it had absorbed from Clark to super heat its various parts. Clark stepped back in disbelief as Gudis regenerated and stood back up.

Once again using his speed Clark barreled into Gudis until they both raced outside city limits but Gudis gave Clark a stiff knee causing them to spiral out of control and crash into a Wal-Mart. As they blew through the wall of the store people scattered in all directions screaming as the battling duo found themselves in the electronics section. Just then Gudis caught sight of something.

“A tube? Wal-mart still sells tube Tvs? Well I know what to do with that!” He smiled as he grabbed it and smashed it on top of Clark’s head and then gave him a kick to the chest as he turned and ripped a price tag off of another TV.

“What?! $2,000 dollars for a Sony?! Save money my ***?!” He snorted as he threw it down and tackled Clark through several aisles until they ended up in the grocery section. But Clark reversed Gudis’ momentum as he flipped him over head sending him smashing through the Dairy wall at the back of the store. Clark followed him in but was unprepared for what he found as he saw Gudis with a forklift over his head that had a skid of milk jugs on it.

“Hey Clark, got milk?!” He yelled as he threw it at him. The forklift broke apart against Clark’s body as he was assailed by a seeming tidal wave of dairy.

Gudis charged forward but this time Clark was ready as gave him a double fisted backhand that sent him flying to the other end of the store as he crashed through yet another wall. Gudis got back up to see something very strange as he saw a small group of individuals in what had been a dark room before he came crashing in. They appeared to be differing nationalities including American and all wore a tiny badge with a red star on it. One of them began to speak in a foreign language in a panicked tone.

“Well whaddaya know…Wal-mart really is ran by communists.” Gudis realized as he turned his attention back to Clark who was running toward him only to get blasted back out through the front of the store by a combination of beams.

The stunned son of Jor El pulled himself up only to get smashed in between two cars that Gudis was holding in each hand. Clark attempted another swing but Gudis sidestepped him and drove a fist right into his gut as the Kal El doubled over in pain. If not for the high molecular density that the yellow sun granted him along with his other powers that punch would’ve gone clean through him. Clark fell to his knees coughing up blood, he tried to rise only to have another punch to his temple put him back down again.

“Do you ever wonder boy?” Gudis asked as he kicked him hard, “About just how your sun went supernova?” He went on punching him again, “Did you ever consider that perhaps it wasn’t a freak accident?” Again Gudis kicked him.

Clark looked up at him in shock.

“I watched from the dark void of space as your people fell screaming to their deaths in the great chasms that opened when your world began to come apart. Listened to their cries of horror abruptly cut off by the instant disintegration of their bodies as your exploding sun washed over them. It was an interesting experiment, one that I wouldn’t mind trying again.” Gudis confessed with a sick smile as Clark boiled with rage, “ Oh don’t act so surprised! Where there is carnage, where there is chaos, where there is genocide there I shall always be. Countless worlds just like yours. Races that dwarf this one that existed eons ago that have already been forgotten by time. Yours will be no different.”

With an angry hate filled scream Clark lunged up only to have Gudis catch his fist and proceed to crush it forcing him back down.

“As much fun as it would be to pound on you all night I know that you’ll eventually just heal all of these injuries and resume being a pain in my ***. And since I don’t have any kryptonite handy to actually kill you with I’ll just have to settle for putting you out of my way.” Gudis admitted as he unfolded his wings and took off into the sky with Clark in tow at blinding speed.

The next thing Clark knew, he was on the moon as he went hurtling into the lunar soil face first.

“That’s one small step for hairless monkeys, one giant face plant for an E.T., only I don’t think you’ll be phoning home. This is one place where there is definitely no reception, not even Verizon.” Gudis mocked hovering above as Clark got back up glaring at the fiend.

“Bet the whole not being able to fly yet really sucks balls right now huh?” Gudis went on as Clark leaped at him only to find himself completely unprepared for the near weightless conditions he new found himself in as he soared over Gudis.

“See ya later rocket man.” Gudis laughed as he turned and headed back to Earth.

********

Back in Ohio.

“Owen have you made your decision?” Crowley asked.

“Yes. My answer is yes.”

[Mecha74]

“Just going on record for being part of the totally against this crowd.” Dean grumbled.

“I’m sure we all agree.” Buffy added flashing Crowley a dirty look.

“My my my slayer, keep looking at me like that and I’m bound to get a stiffy.” Crowley smiled as he leaned down and kissed Owen.

Suddenly Abby shuddered as her heart began to beat and her lungs expanded for the first time in several centuries. She looked down at her normally pale skin to see the color return to it as fresh warm human blood pumped through her veins.

“Abby?” Owen said wondering if she was okay.

The warm smile that suddenly parted her lips gave its answer as Owen and Abby embraced one another. It was then that Crowley snapped his fingers causing both of them to disappear. Suddenly both Owen and Abby found themselves back in New Mexico where he used to live with both of Owen’s parents together and waiting for them with open arms as they shared a group embrace. Owen had never been happier in his life. He finally had everything he ever could have wanted…and more.

“Where’d they go?!” Sam exclaimed.

“What did you do with them?!” Blade accused.

“They’re currently with Owen’s reunited parents far away from here. It was part of the little bugger’s deal.”

He then turned towards the sword as Castiel held it out. The demon began speaking an incantation in Latin that began quietly but then grew in both volume and complexity as he went on with his own hands outstretched. As he did so Excalibur began to glow, slowly getting brighter as the spell neared its crescendo. By the end he was practically screaming the words as he summoned every bit of his strength to keep the spell going as he broke out in a sweat with the obvious strain. A wind seemingly out of nowhere blew through the room as the lights in the store began to flicker and falter. Bolts of energy shot off the blade in different directions as everyone suddenly dove for cover. When the last syllable was uttered the power in the store failed as the lights went out, but their surroundings were then illuminated by a brilliant flash of light from Excalibur as the spell finally finished. After ward Crowley had to sit down to rest and catch his breath while Ash went back to trip the circuit breaker.

Everyone came out of hiding as Castiel spoke.

“It’s time to finish this, once and for all.”

*********

In Chicago the city had quickly devolved into chaos and bloodshed as a teeming multitude of monsters had converged to wreak havoc. In the midst of this inhuman insanity Castiel and the heroes emerged.

Gudis came down off of his perch, which upon closer inspection was revealed to be made from human flesh and bone.

“Your reign of terror ends here.” Castiel swore.

“Only if you ask nice.” Gudis teased.

“We will stop you.” He countered.

“You and what army?” He snarled as a chakram suddenly whirled through the air bouncing off of Gudis’ forehead.

“Will this do?” Buffy said as the chakram returned to Xena’s hand who was standing beside her.

And walking up behind Buffy and Xena, was every activated potential on the planet. At that same moment via magic transportation and more conventional means countless heroes and vigilantes arrived on the scene. B.P.R.D. and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, hunters and superheroes in masse.

“Been a long time Gudis, or should I just call you Dahak?” Xena proclaimed.

“It’s good to see you again Xena, do you remember all the fun that we had all those centuries ago. Like when your son Solan was killed, good times.” Gudis taunted as Xena glared at the hideous creature with great anger.

In the middle of the decimated city the two opposing armies stood at the ready as an eerie silence fell over the landscape. On one side was Castiel with Excailbur in hand and an incalculable number of heroes and heroines. On the other was Gudis with a seemingly endless throng of horrific things and beasts that defied both description and sanity.

“We’re going to die now aren’t we?” Caboose asked simply.

“Yeah, kinda looks that way. So you gonna give us a hand here or what?” Dean replied.

“I can’t do that. I need both of them. That and it would hurt…allot.” Caboose explained.

“Could you try just once to say something that doesn’t make me want to punch you in the face?” Dean practically begged.

But at that point one of the larger beasts smashed through a billboard that advertised Mr. Sprinkles kitty litter with it’s adorable mascot. Suddenly something in Caboose snapped.

“Noooooooooooo! You killed Mr. Sprinkles!” He cried as he began to shake with a violent rage that culminated in a seemingly inhuman wail as Dean slowly backed away from him with a wide eyed look, “I am Michael J Caboose, and I hate babies!” He spoke in a deep booming voice as he rushed toward the monsters much to the astoundment of everyone.

As he tore through their bestial ranks he left a trail of blood and body parts in his wake until he reached the creature that in his mind had killed Mr. Sprinkles…only to have it lean down and swallow him whole. There were a few moments of silence when suddenly the monster’s head exploded revealing an angry screaming Caboose standing upon the blood gushing stump shaking his fists in the air.

“I WILL EAT YOUR UNHAPPINESS! YOU WILL DROWN IN THE SEA OF MY GRUMPINESS! MY SWARM OF SPIKE COVERED KITTENS WILL NIBBLE UPON YOUR SOUL AND CRAP RAINBOWS! I WILL LAY WASTE TO ALL YOU HOLD DEAR WITH THE CUISINART OF BROKENNESS AND THE SOLAR POWERED FLASHLIGHT OF SCAREDNESS AS I WEAVE BASKETS FROM YOUR CONSTIPATED LAWN FURNITURE THAT I WILL USE TO CARRY YOUR COLLECTED TEARS DOWN THE RIVER CHAINSAW GARGLE ON THE GOODSHIP LOLLYPOP!” He expounded hatefully as all looked on with jaws agape.

“Okay, so he has tourettes and also apparently retard strength.” Ash observed.

“Slaughter them all!” Gudis howled as the two forces charged at one another.

As the battle ensued Cass and Gudis squared off in the center of the all encompassing melee.

As Gudis blocked a sword swing from Cass he realized what he was up against as the blade bit into his bony armor.

“Excalibur!” He seethed with hatred as Cass continued to strike, only now Gudis was far more cautious as he chose to dodge the weapon instead.

Cass sent a power wave off the sword that Gudis somersaulted over as he attempted to land on top of the angel who backflipped away at the last second. Gudis shot forth a combination of beams from his eyes and mouth which Cass sidestepped before the monstrosity sent a far more powerful blast from his right hand. But Cass held Excalibur up blocking the beam as it started to push him back. Realizing he was losing ground the angel did a quick spin literally bouncing the energy back at Gudis as it struck him hard and put him into the base of the monolith. He looked up to see Castiel rushing toward him as he barely dodged at the last second with Excalibur’s edge sinking deep into the organic pillar where he had been lying but a moment before. Gudis then backhanded Castiel as he skidded across the street leaving the sword still lodged where it was. As Gudis flew toward him Cass outstretched his hand and summoned the sword to him as it pulled free and twirled into the angel’s hand just as Gudis reached him. With a mighty upward swing that was far too quick for even Gudis to dodge a deep gash was sliced in his torso as the cosmic demon reeled back in pain and surprise as he realized that the injuries being inflicted by the empowered weapon were not regenerating to his shock.

Meanwhile the battle between the two armies looked to be an even match when suddenly in the distance nightmarish kaiju-sized behemoths strode toward the city, summoned by their master’s call.

“How in the hell are we supposed to fight that?!” Dean yelled.

Luckily for the heroes they wouldn’t have to as streaming through the night air came a sudden blast of blue radioactive fire that obliterated one of them. A deafening and earth shaking roar that could only have heralded the arrival of one legendary kaiju cut through the noise and calamity of the battle. Gudis’ gigantic brethren stopped and turned to see Godzilla thundering into the fray with every kaiju from Ogasawara following close behind him as Rodan, Mothra, Angiurus and several others charged forward. And clinging to one of Godzilla’s dorsal plates…was Hellboy, firing ‘Big Baby’ at anything that moved!

“Hell yeah the Calvary’s here!” Dean hooted excitedly as the battle continued.

Hellboy leaped off of Godzilla as he smashed clean through the skull of one kaiju with the right hand of doom. As the headless beast teetered like a redwood tree the former B.P.R.D. agent rode it down sending a shot from ‘Big Baby right into the eye socket of another monster as the giant gelatinous orb that rested within exploded and burst like a ichor filled water balloon. Hellboy hit the ground rolling and ran toward the epic skirmish with the heroes in the distance as Godzilla and his titanic comrades gave battle to Gudis’ colossal legions.

Anguirus lunged locking his jaws around the throat of another creature like a pit bull as the spiky quadruped tore its jugular apart. Rodan meanwhile flying at supersonic speeds shattered the bones of any other monster stupid enough to step into its path when he collided with them. Mothra using both her hurricane generating wings and her web spinning silk hindered and immobilized several as Gorosaurus, Varan, Manda and Baragon fell upon them in their prone positions tearing them to pieces. Godzilla himself lumbered forward as a claw swipe from the kaiju king ripped the face off of one behemoth while a series of breath blasts ended several others. Suddenly though a gang of bizarre iguana mutations piled onto him biting and clawing only to be sent flying in all directions by Godzilla’s tremendous strength. One of them was still in Godzilla’s grasp as it muttered a weak roar that sounded similar to his own. Godzilla looked upon this creature with contempt and disdain as he let out a low snarl before ripping its head clean off its body.

Godzilla turned to face his next challenge only to see all of the other monsters running away as a shadow that could’ve blocked out the sun had it been shining cast itself upon him. In the city everyone else saw it too as everything grinded to a complete halt. Godzilla looked up to see the Cloverfield beast, but not the newborn that attacked New York, it’s gargantuan mother…that stood well over 2,000 meters tall! A split second later it struck like a snake snatching Godzilla up in her massive jaws and gulping him down. The living mountain proceeded to emit shrieks that could be heard miles away. But just then a bright blue glow from the monster’s torso began to show through its translucent skin. Abruptly Godzilla’s breath beam shot forth from inside the creature as it howled in agony. Several more punched their way out of the enormous brute as its insides were seared and obliterated. It flailed and convulsed wildly in all directions clawing at its very insides trying to get at the thing that was killing it from the inside out. Finally Godzilla emerged as he ripped open the monster’s chest cavity from the inside with his bare hands. It reached down to grab at him only to have it’s hand blown to bits by another breath blast as it wailed in tortured anguish. Godzilla crawled out climbing up to the beast’s head as he shot a stream of his radioactive fire into its open mouth and out the back of its skull. He then reared back and punched his fist squarely into its forehead and into it’s brain as it fell at last. It hit the ground with the force of an earthquake as everyone in the city lost their footing from the impact. Godzilla righted himself and stood tall upon his conquered adversary, roaring to the heavens as lightning from cloud cover above rained down striking his dorsal plates causing even Gudis to stop and take notice.

“Hey assbutt!” Cass yelled as Gudis turned back from the distraction to get Excalibur slammed into his face like a club as he staggered back.

Castiel charged as Gudis sent coils of tentacles growing and unfurling from his sides, but the angel hacked his way through them until he reached his intended target. Cass moved in with a downward swing but Gudis caught his wrist and then thrust his other hand out around the angel’s throat. With his left hand Castiel drew his archangel blade and stabbed it into Gudis’ left eye as the horrid creature tossed him away to remove the annoyance.

But he didn’t move quick enough to avoid a power wave from the sword that mowed him down as Cass followed through plunging Excalibur into Gudis’ belly! Gudis shrieked out as Castiel looked him directly in the eye.

“Fool, you think simply because you have a weapon that can hurt me that it will be that easy?” Gudis mocked as his physical form suddenly melted away into nothingness. Cass looked on in confusion unaware that Gudis’ essence had jumped into another body as he rose up behind the angel.

Cass spun around only to have both of his arms grabbed and abruptly broken as he screamed out in misery. Gudis then wrapped a hand around his face as he forced the angelic warrior to his knees.

“You ever play Mortal Kombat? You know what Sub Zero’s fatality is?” He smiled.

But before he could act someone suddenly landed on his shoulders as Gudis looked up to see Hit Girl, her eyes were blood red and her mouth filled with razor sharp teeth.

“What?” He managed to spout before she sank her fangs into his jugular.

He reached up struggling to pry her free as she drank deeply before finally being wrenched off of him. He bore down upon her only to discover that with his blood came some of his strength as she hit him with a punch that sent him crashing into a building on the side of the street. But from within the structure a powerful pair of beams shot forth plowing her over as he advanced on the prone vampire as she tried to shake her disorientation. But she didn’t recover fast enough as he reached down and grabbed her by the neck yanking her up off the pavement. It was then however that the mysterious motorcycle rider from the S-mart rolled onto the scene. As he sped toward Gudis his bike began to transform as the wheels and then even the rider’s skull burst into flame. Gudis saw him coming at the last second as the cycle slammed into him head on causing him to drop Hit-Girl. As Ghost Rider was launched from the bike he flipped over top of Gudis unloading shots from his hellfire gun until he landed on the other side of him. Once there he laid into Gudis with his mystical chain as the monster was jolted back and forth. But on one particular swing Gudis caught the chain and yanked Ghost Rider toward him as he connected with a punch that sent him flying for a country mile.

At that same moment in New Mexico…

At home in his bedroom, Owen was enjoying something that he hadn’t done in ages, a sleepover, with Abby as his guest. And Abby was rediscovering what it was like to actually eat human food as she put a chocolate chip cookie in her mouth. Her reaction was amusing to say the least as her palette experienced something altogether alien to her.

“I’m guessing they didn’t have chocolate chip cookies back when you were still human?” Owen smiled.

“No, they didn’t,” She responded as she looked at the cookie curiously and then back at Owen, “I still can’t believe what you’ve sacrificed for me Owen.”

“It’s okay, it’s what I wanted.”

“But what about when Crowley comes to take you ten years from now?”

“Ten years of being happy is allot better than being unhappy for the rest of my life.”

Suddenly though Abby’s face went pale as she took on a look of disorientation.

“Abby? What’s wrong are you okay?” Owen asked as she tried to get up only to collapse and slip into unconsciousness.

“Abby!” Owen screamed as he rolled her over and tried to awaken her to no avail.

After several moments of sheer panic an angry notion occurred to him.

“Crowley!” He yelled.

“You rang?” He suddenly said from behind Owen as the child spun around.

“What did you do to her?!”

“Me? I didn’t do a thing.”

“You’re lying!”

“No really, I swear to Lucifer.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Something that she apparently had back when she was still human. That’s the funny thing about vampirism, it not only removes your humanity but also any ailments you might have had as well.”, He explained as he used his enhanced demon senses to identify what was going on inside her, “Oh my, that isn’t good.”

“What?!”

“Looks like Glioblastoma multiform.”

“What is that?”

“A rare form of brain cancer that effects young children.”

“Is she going to be okay?”

“Oh Hell no, she’ll be dead in about ten minutes.”

“We’ve got to get her to a hospital!”

“Too late for that, disease is terminal.”

“Cure her damn you!”

“Fraid I can’t do that.”

“Why?!”

“That wasn’t part of our deal.”

“Then I’ll make another!”

“Can’t do that, we already have one and you have nothing else to offer me. And I don’t see anyone else lining up for the task.”

“No! She can’t die!” He sobbed.

“Listen, since I made a real killing today I’m actually feeling a little charitable so I’ll drop you a line…Excalibur.”

“Excalibur? What about it?”

“It can cure her.”

“Then send me to it!”

“Ohhhh that’s really not a good idea right now, things are getting pretty hot and heavy where it is at the moment. And besides why the Hell would I? I think you keep mistaking me for one of the good guys, ergo, someone who actually gives a damn.” He smirked as he began to turn away.

Desperate to save Abby Owen tried to quickly come up with an argument that he hoped would appeal to the cruel demon.

“If you send me there and I die then you wouldn’t have to wait ten years to claim my soul.”

Crowley paused for a moment as he then looked back over his shoulder at the young boy.

********

Back on the battlefield Gudis had begun to blast and mutilate his way through everyone and anything that stood in his path as several heroes attempted to come to the fallen Castiel’s aid, but there were none that could stand up to Gudis’ power. At one point however he found himself face to face with Dean.

“I never did get to thank you for making this all possible Dean. How does it feel knowing that the death of this world can be laid squarely at your feet? Must be a hard pill to swallow.”

“Swallow this!” Dean said as he pulled out the Colt and blasted Gudis squarely between the eyes.

Everything seemed to go into slow motion as the bullet traveled through the air and into Gudis’ skull. Once it hit he staggered for a moment before abruptly falling down.

The warring factions ceased all motion in response as all bore witness to what appeared to be Gudis’ demise.

“Is, is that it?” Sam asked unbelievingly.

“I, I didn’t think it would actually work.” Dean admitted equally shocked.

“It didn’t.” Gudis spat popping back up, “Bah! Merely a flesh wound!” He joked in a bad British accent.

“Ah Hell!” Dean cursed.

“Nice try boys. But remember what Lucifer mentioned last year about five things that that gun couldn’t kill?” He smiled as he thrust his hands out grabbing the brothers by their throats, “Time to play pop the weasel!”

But suddenly a chainsaw gored through his back from behind from Ash causing him to drop the Winchesters who quickly pulled out their shot guns unloading round after round while Constantine dove by unleashing his dragon fire blaster in his face. Blade and Saya’s swords suddenly sliced into Gudis’ legs from behind before getting run through the back of his neck. Buffy then flipped through the air as she slammed her mystical scythe down on top of Gudis’ skull as Iron Man bolted in with a pointblank shot from both repulsors and his tank buster rocket right into his chest. Michael and Seline fired their machine guns while Hellboy emptied the Samaritan from behind as Xena’s chakram flew clean through his abdomen! Hit-Girl ran him through with the Mindy Stick before tossing an entire grenade belt around his neck with all the pins pulled resulting in a horrendous explosion! Finally, Gudis went down! The heroes dog piled Gudis trying desperately to restrain him as nearby Castiel had finally healed his broken arms and now leaped through the air with Excalibur in hand!

It was then that Gudis brought forth a terrible power from deep within himself as an incredible shockwave of energy erupted forth from him that sent everyone flying in all directions. The blast leveled several city blocks and completely incapacitated every hero and monster on the battle field including the kaiju leaving only Gudis standing tall.

"Infinitesimal, detestable, insignificant microbes! Do you not know death when you see it?! How many times do I have to tell you I cannot die?! I always come back! I always rise from the ashes and a time will come when you will beg for death and be denied it and I shall delight in your torment, showing you suffering the likes of which you have never known! Races billions of years old across the vastness of time and space who dreamt of my destruction are now dust in my hands! I was there in the beginning and shall be there at the end when all is dead and gone, and all of you are nothing but a forgotten footnote in the history of creation! There I shall still be, reigning supreme over all that is! I am the alpha, the omega. I AM GUDIS!!” He bellowed as his grievous injuries regenerated.

Gudis thought he heard something behind him and turned around to see a terrified Owen looking up at him, his little eyes frozen with fear.

“Well, what have we here?” Gudis grinned slyly as he slowly walked toward little Owen who tried to back away from Gudis only to trip over a severed appendage as he started to crawl backwards across the concrete.

“Just what I needed, a little snack. Gutting people works up a fierce appetite you know.”

As the child continued moving backward his hand brushed up against something as he looked down to see Excalibur. But when he gripped it the sword suddenly exploded in an awesome display of power as Gudis backed away from the blinding light. The sword seemed to come to life in Owen’s hands as it rose up levitating in the air. Owen tried to let go of it but couldn’t, his hands were locked around the hilt and unable to release it. As Excalibur’s power intensified energy suddenly rose up from the comatose bodies of all the heroes present as it coalesced into floating glowing orbs above them. They then all flew into Excalibur resulting in an incredible blast that illuminated the entire city as Owen screamed. When it faded neither Owen or Excalibur remained. In their place was a tall shimmering warrior whose appearance defied description as he shone so brightly that it was practically impossible to look directly at him. Owen and the sword had merged and become one. But Owen wasn’t there anymore, standing before Gudis now was the physical embodiment of the wrath of God. And their combined body had become the vessel for the combined might of every hero on the field of battle!

“No! I will not be denied!” Gudis snarled in disbelief.

“Yes…you will!” Owen thundered with a voice that shattered every window in the city as the unified heroes spoke through him in a singular vociferation, “United we stand…and you…shall…fall!” He finished.

Gudis uttered an earsplitting roar as the two juggernauts rushed each other beginning a rapid exchange of punches which ended when Owen blocked Gudis’ right hand while catching the other as he then flipped both of his feet up into the beast’s chin staggering him back. Bolting back in Gudis attempted to land a series of swings but the empowered being proved to be a little too fast for him as he ducked and sidestepped this way and that. A downward swinging overhead punch smashed a hole in the street as Owen back flipped away from the strike. Coming back up Gudis fired his eye beams but the entity used a form of telekinesis to not only stop the beams but make them arc back around and hit Gudis head on, granted they were merely absorbed back into his body. Owen then used his telekinesis to suddenly pull the creature toward him as he hit the clone with a downward spiraling somersault kick followed by a roundhouse kick and a low jab to the gut sending him flying back. But as he did his tail lashed out wrapping around Owen’s neck as he went flying with him through the air. They both landed hard and rolled to a stop but sprang back up again quickly as Owen went for a low sweep kick to take Gudis back off his feet, but this time it was Gudis that showed off his agility as he flipped overtop of him landing directly behind him. With his back up against his Gudis hooked his adversary’s arms and swung him overtop of himself slamming him down on the back of his head and neck in a Razor‘s edge manuver. Disoriented by this attack Owen was left wide open for a brutal uppercut that put him all the way into a building down the street. Gudis bolted in pushing his advantage as he aimed a strait punch directly for Owen’s head, but he dodged it at the last moment causing Gudis to get his arm lodged in the side of the structure and stuck there as Owen gave him a stiff head butt and then kick to his immobilized arm actually causing the elbow joint to bend backwards from the sheer force of it breaking the arm in the process as Gudis let out a shriek of pain.

Wrenching it back out he attempted a backhand that Owen ducked as he counterstriked with a double throat jab and a standing crane kick as he remained on his left leg while he bent forward swinging his right all the way overtop of himself and booting Gudis squarely between the eyes showing amazing flexibility and dexterity. Gudis lunged only to be caught in mid air and thrown but as he went the abomination swung his right foot out planting it directly in Owen’s chest, but as he flipped back from the blow he managed another backwards somersault and landed on his feet. Gudis hadn’t even gotten all the way back up yet when Owen rushed in hitting him with a rapid fire combo of roundhouse punches and backhands which he capped with a front spinning tornado kick for good measure. While the monster was still down Owen mounted him and proceeded to hammer away on him only to have Gudis’ tail wrap around his neck from behind and pull him off as it lifted him up and then plowed him headfirst into the pavement. Gudis charged the still dazed warrior as hit him with a shoulder block tackle sending him rolling. Owen looked up to see Gudis twirling in midair as he compacted his own body into what appeared to be a wrecking ball.

WHAM!

Gudis charged in again with his arms outstretched but in a fit of frustration and anger he hit the walking nightmare with a blast of psionic energy so powerful it punched him clear across the city and sent him smashing clean through several buildings.

For the moment, all was quiet. But it was not to last.

Gudis suddenly exploded up through the street directly behind Owen as he wrapped his arms around his waist and gave him a release German suplex onto the back of his head followed by an hand beam blast so powerful it put the warrior clean through several structures himself. Gudis tried to go after him but suddenly pieces and shards of various shattered objects levitated off the ground and flew strait at Gudis as several pieces skewered him right before a larger chunk mowed him down. Owen literally floated back onto the battlefield as he practically flew toward his opponent as the living embodiment of Excalibur glowed with power. Gudis tried for another beam blast but they apparently hit an invisible psionic barrier as they bounced off Owen’s body. He then launched a bus at Owen like a javelin but it when it reached him it ripped in two down the middle as the separate pieces flew by him on either side. Gudis next tore up a massive section of the street itself to throw but Owen once again used his powers as he made the pavement bend and contort in Gudis’ hands until it wrapped around him like a concrete cocoon as he proceeded to make it compress and crush Gudis inside. But a few moments later Gudis demonstrated his own psionic power as a sudden explosive shockwave of energy reeled off of him obliterating the shell he was incased in and slamming hard into Owen who hit the ground. The two super beings then charged at each other and lunged striking each other in midair at the exact same time as they both went flying in opposite directions.

Gudis then exhibited a new ability as he literally began to drain the power from the entire city as the lights and everything else imaginable began to fail and shut down from the drain. All the while a ball of energy began forming between Gudis’ hands as he suddenly launched it at Owen who pushed against it with more psionic energy bringing it to a stop right in front of himself. This however was exactly what Gudis wanted as he then detonated the ball causing it to explode right in Owen’s face. Stunned by the blast but still exerting his psionic power Owen briefly lost control as he suddenly pulled part of a building itself down as it ripped free from its foundation. Gudis looked up just in time to have it come crashing down on top of him! Gudis then erupted forth from the rubble heaving a massive hunk of debris over his head and hurling it at Owen who stopped it in midair as well only to have Gudis steamroll through it. Owen then used his psionic powers to rip up two buildings as they smashed together on Gudis sandwiching him in between them. But a moment later he exploded out of them as he kept coming. This time Owen used his telekinesis in a different manner as he stopped Gudis dead in his tracks and proceeded to crush his very body as it began implode on itself. Gudis bellowed in pain and anger as his bones were pulverized and his organs crushed into jelly, but the epitome of evil was far from finished as he summoned another powerful shockwave that broke Owen’s hold and sent him crashing to the street below.

Gudis follwed through quickly darting right up to him as he drilled once punch after another into him. Owen looked back from one of the punches only to have a truck smashed on top of him followed by a double arm beam blast. Owen was dizzy but still standing as Gudis slammed into him hard and flew with him strait into the base of the building formerly known as the Sears Tower. Once inside the edifice Gudis flew strait upward smashing Owen up through every floor of the 110 story structure and eventually out through the top, but undaunted Owen took control of their flight trajectory and then shot out into deep space at almost the speed of light as entire galaxies passed by in milliseconds.

“No matter how much power you possess you still do not have the strength to slay me!” Gudis bragged.

“You’re right, which is why I have something different in mind. If you desire power so much than see if you can take mine!” Owen challenged as he suddenly became the epicenter of a cosmic explosion powerful enough to shatter a hundred planets. As a result a tear was ripped in the fabric of space and time itself that collapsed into a small black hole that proceeded to pull and rip at Gudis.

“No! No! I shall not be locked away again! This is my time, my destiny, my existence! Noooooo!” He screamed as he fought futilely against the tear that overwhelmed him as it finally pulled him in. It then slammed shut with a crack of thunder that was lost to the vacuum of space.

Owen then reappeared on Earth back in Chicago as all of the heroes began to regain consciousness. Finally it was over, Gudis…had been defeated.

But that didn’t mean that Owen was done. With another powerful blast of energy the remaining monsters that served Gudis’ will were disintegrated. He then decided to address a different matter.

“Crowley!” He clamored as his voice reverberated throughout the city.

Instantly Crowley materialized before them as much to his own surprise as everyone else’s. As he gazed upon the omnipotent being that had forcibly summoned him only one word escaped his lips.

“Bollocks.”

As Owen closed his fist the demon hit the ground in pain and lie their screaming for several moments before he finally stopped.

“The souls of the children have been returned, along with yours as well.” Owen explained looking over at Buffy and Constantine.

Crowley awkwardly and painfully got back up as Owen turned back to him.

“I should smite you where you stand.”

“Well, lets not be hasty-”

“But I don’t need to.” He cut the demon off.

“Alrighty then sherry and giggles all around.” Crowley said with great relief.

“I can see your future.”

“And what does that mean?” The demon asked with a look of concern.

“Now now, that would be telling.” Owen replied with a knowing smile, “Be gone.” He spoke as he waved his hand sending Crowley back from whence he came.

He then turned back around to face the heroes who had gathered behind him as Castiel stepped forward.

“Abby must be saved…use the sword.” Owen said as with a soft glow he transformed back into a 12 year old boy.

He proceeded to fall into a deep sleep as Cass caught his body to prevent him from falling over. Excalibur reappeared and floated down into Castiel’s hand. Cass then transported himself back to Owen’s house as he gently lie the child down upon his bed. He then gently touched Excalibur to Abby’s body healing her instantly as her eyes slowly fluttered open.

“What happened?” She asked.

“The threat is over. You’re both going to be fine.” Cass told her.

“Thank you.” She said.

“Don’t thank me, thank him.” He started to tell her, “He saved us all.”

After departing Owen’s home Castiel picked up on a powerful life force that he could sense was drifting near Earth. He teleported finding Clark there before returning him to Smallville.

“An angel? Seriously? Well, anyway thanks for the save who ever you are. The whole being the only Kryptonian who can‘t fly bit is really starting to get old. But I suppose that isn‘t a problem for you if you are what you say you are.” He said.

“You are welcome.”

“Was that thing stopped? I saw it and something else come shooting out of orbit while I was drifting.”

“Yes, Gudis has been dealt with.” Cass told him as he began to stare intently at Clark.

“What?” the last son of Krypton asked as Cass did something that he very rarely did if ever…he smiled.

“What is it?” Clark asked again.

“There's something about your aura. Something that tells me that you are going to be someone very important someday.” Cass informed him.

“Oddly enough that isn’t the first time I’ve heard that.”

“Stay true to your path Kal El and you will see it for yourself.” Cass told him as he started to turn away but then stopped.

“Clark?”

“Yes?”

“There is no need to envy my abilities as an angel. For there will come a day when you will not need wings to fly.” The angel assured him as he disappeared from sight.


*********

Back in Chicago the Ghost Rider finally returned after Gudis had sent him flying. As he walked up he revealed his human form as Hit-Girl’s jaw dropped.

“Daddy?” She finally muttered as Damon Macready stepped off the bike.

“Hello baby girl.” He said with a half smile as she rushed up and embraced him.

For an interminable amount of time she just stood there and hugged her father tightly as all of the heroes looked on, but finally she spoke.

“How is this possible? You’re supposed to be dead.” She spoke with tears in her eyes.

“I am. And apparently so are you.” He said as his own supernatural senses detected the vampire infection within her.

“It was this or become a crazed flesh eating zombie.”

“Do you fully realize what you’ve done? What kind of life that you are in for?”

“Truth is I didn’t expect to survive this. I just wanted to be around long enough to put my foot up Gudis’ ***.”

“The best laid plans of mice and men…” Her father started to say.

“And monkeys with head injuries.” She finished with a smile.

There was a moment of silence before Hit-Girl started speaking again.

“Who woulda thunk that we would both still be walking around after we were dead?”

“It’s a strange new world we live in honey bunch.”

“Tell me what happened Daddy.”

“When I died Mindy I went before the heavenly host and was judged. This is my penance.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Perhaps I can explain.” Castiel said as he appeared next to them, “I was present for this man’s arraignment in Heaven.”

“There are trials in Heaven?” Sam asked.

“On rare occasions yes. When someone’s judgment is not what you would call clear cut. Damon Macready lead a life of righteous integrity when he was a cop. But then descended into a cold and calculated madness that led him down a dark path of vengeance after his imprisonment and death of his wife. As a result during the course of his life he perpetrated acts that on one hand lifted him to the heights of salvation but then also committed sins that condemned him to the depths of Hell. This was the sentence handed down by the court.”

“Our family was torn apart because of a drug lord scumbag and God punishes my father?!” Hit-Girl hissed angrily.

“If it is of any condolence to you Frank D’Amico is currently festering in one Hell’s foulest pits, alongside men like Adolf Hitler and Jack The Ripper.”

“It’s alright Mindy.” Her father told her, “I have accepted their judgment, and now understand that what I did was wrong.”

“Wrong?! Our family was destroyed and they just walked away! You going to try and tell me that was right?! Where was justice for us?!” Mindy seethed.

“You’re looking at it. That’s why I’m here, not in Hell.”

“The verdict was deemed fair and generous by my peers, the number of individuals who have gotten the kind of second chance your father has can be counted on one hand. God does care Mindy.” Castiel tried to explain.

“Bullshit! Screw you and your God!” Mindy spat as Cass let out a disappointed sigh.

“Mindy, he’s right. Another angel appeared before me and told me of what was coming and where this battle was going to happen, and that if I didn’t get there in time you would die. Otherwise I wouldn’t even be here right now…and neither would you.”

With this affirmation Mindy finally simmered down.

“This second chance has also made me realize that what I did to you was wrong too. Marcus was right, the childhood you had shouldn’t have been how it was.”

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean I regret it.” She admitted.

“That’s my girl. You were always strong. Even stronger than me.”

“So what do you have to do now?” She asked.

“Hunt down souls that have escaped heaven’s judgment.”

“For how long?”

“I don’t know honestly.”

“Will I ever see you again?”

“I’m not sure. But know this, even if you never see me again. I will always be with you my child.” He told her as he pulled her in for another embrace, “I love you Mindy.” He finished as he kissed her on her forehead.

“And I love you Daddy.” She responded as her father pulled away and got back on his cycle.

He smiled at her one last time before revving it up and taking off, his skull bursting into flame as he rode off into the night. Hit-Girl then noticed Castiel staring at her curiously.

“What?”

“You willingly allowed Abby to turn you into a vampire in an attempt to stave off the zombie infection?” Cass realized scrutinizing her closely.

“Yeah I know, crazy huh?”

“Considering that your only other options were becoming a zombie or being exterminated yourself, your solution to the problem was nothing if not unique. How did you know it would work?”

“I didn’t. It was Abby’s idea.”

“How will you deal with the bloodlust?”

“Still working on that, and I’m sorry about what I said before.” She admitted.

“No apology is necessary. For someone so young you have endured much pain and hardship. Your anger was justified. As higher powers we tend to forget sometimes just how much humankind suffers down here. It’s something that I plan to pay closer attention to in the future.”

Just a short distance away the hunters were enjoying beers from a stash that Bobby had thrown in Rufus’ truck on the off chance that they didn’t die. All accept for Rufus himself, who had a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label Whisky in hand. He stopped for a moment and snatched up an apple from an overturned fruit cart. As he got out his ginsu knife and started to peel it Michael walked up to him.

“See, still sharp.” He smiled as Michael started to laugh.

Meanwhile Dean felt the need to comment on Caboose’s performance in battle.

“Dude, I take back everything I said. The maximum strength crazy you pulled off out there, awesome! Just plain awesome!”

“What?! What did I do?! Whatever I did, it wasn’t my fault! I swear!” Caboose spouted in a hyperactive fashion.

Dean stared at him blankly for a few more moments before turning away shaking his head.

Nearby Saya was staring at Caboose as a grin started to tug at her lips. Truth was, it was all she could do to keep from busting out in laughter at his antics.

“My God you’re actually smiling.” Seline noticed, “Guess we need to mark this down on a calendar.” She joked.

It was then that Buffy and Xena approached Cass.

“Where’s Blade and Constantine? They were both here a minute ago.” Buffy said.

“Gone. Blade departed with Constantine following after him. It would seem that John refuses to let his personal vendetta against Blade go.” Cass informed, “I don’t understand it. They worked together to help stop the greatest evil ever known but were ready to kill each other once again when it was over.”

“Being crazy and unpredictable is part of what makes us human.” Xena explained.

“Hey that sounds familiar.”, Buffy joked, “All’s well that ends well?” Buffy commented turning to Castiel.

“So it would seem.” Cass replied as Ash walked over to him.

“Gotta admit you handled yourself pretty well for a fairy.” He said.

“I’m not a fairy.”

“Whatever. Hey you two ladies wouldn‘t be interested in a little three‘s company action would ya?” Ash smiled with a perverted leer.

“No thanks.” Xena smirked.

“Eh, your loss.”

“I’m sure.” Buffy retorted.

“Would you like me to return you to your place of business?” Cass asked.

“No way, Dean told me what happened the last time you did that to him. I’ll take a bus, later screwheads.” He countered as he started to walk away grumbling to himself about how he was going to explain the store damages to the insurance company.

“Truly a class act.” Buffy offered sarcastically.

“Did someone mention me?” Tony said abruptly hovering down next to them as his helmet opened up.

“Nice entrance.” Xena said.

“It’s what I do.” Tony responded.

“You don’t have those in a girl’s size do you?” Buffy asked checking out the armor.

“No, not yet. But if you wouldn’t mind coming back with me to my place I’m sure we could work something out.” He grinned mischievously.

“God is every man here hopelessly horny or what? I still keep catching Dean staring at my ***! Anyhoo I don’t think Pepper would like that very much.” She grinned back.

“Just kiddin. I’m still allowed to flirt aren’t I?”

“Well wings I guess you were right about me.” Hellboy confessed joining them.

“I’m glad you made the choice you did.” Cass said.

“Yeah you really saved our asses out there.” Xena told him.

“Me and the big G, can’t forget the big guns.” He reminded them as they all turned to see Godzilla and the other kaiju walking off in the distance.

Just then S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Coulson walked up.

“Should’ve known you’d be in the middle of this mess.” He said to Tony.

“Of course, just think how boring your life would be without me.”

“I’d like to find out.”

“Oh c’mon you know you love me, you’d be a mess without me.”

“Speaking of a mess that wasn’t you that hacked our database last week by any chance would it?”

“Who me? Of course not, ridiculous. Had to be some one else.”

“Someone else with an I.Q. in excess of 200 with a quantum computer capable of hacking the most advanced firewall on the planet?”

“Almost the most advanced.” Tony reminded him with a sly smile.

“Well I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Marilyn Vos Savant or Kim Ung-Yong who breached our cyber-defenses so I’m going to have to ask you to come with-”

“Hey I’m hungry, who wants donuts? I want donuts, I think we should have donuts.” Tony blurted out cutting Coulson off.

“Can we have jelly filled?” Buffy asked.

“Jelly filled? Don’t want ruin that figure do ya?” Xena asked.

“Hey I just helped save the world…again. I deserve a treat.”

“Mmmmm donuts.” Hellboy drooled.

“Hey did someone say donuts? Can we have pie too?” Dean asked rushing up to the group with Sam following behind shaking his head with a laugh.

“Let me get Seline and the others.” Buffy suggested as she went after them.

“C’mon Captain deadpan, you too.” Tony said to Castiel.

“That isn’t my name.” He replied in his usual monotone fashion.

“So you ever been to a Krispy Kreme?” Tony asked throwing an arm over Cass’ back as the angel looked at the hand that now rested on his shoulder and then slowly back over at Tony as if unsure how to react.

“I have no idea what that is.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah he don’t get out much. He’s still a virgin too. Tried to get him laid once but it didn’t go so well. Well, actually it didn‘t end well for him, I thought it was hilarious.” Dean laughed.

“This isn’t funny Dean. And I need to return to Heaven I don’t have time for-”

“Nonsense, all work no play? Unacceptable, your coming with us grumpy.” Tony interrupted as the group of heroes walked off together.

********

Sometime later.

Washington D.C.

“Well it appears that the zombie infection went bye bye when Gudis did.” Hodgins explained as he examined a sample of Hit-Girl’s blood under a microscope.

Hit-Girl sat nearby on an examination table, with her were Sam and Dean.

“Why do I get the impression that there’s a but coming.” Hit-Girl asked.

“Cause I’m afraid there is one. Without having the two virus’ jocking for position in your bloodstream the vampirism is spreading fast now. It will probably only be a matter of hours before you start getting a case of the munchies for human candy.”

“What about the cure we administered?” Sam asked.

“It didn’t work, perhaps her taking a bite out of Gudis negated the no feeding rule for the cure? Or maybe it’s just because it’s a different strain of vampirism than the kind you guys are used to dealing with? It’s anybody’s guess really.”

“Has anyone ever resisted the hunger?” She asked turning to Sam and Dean.

“Well, we encountered a group of vamps once that fed on animal blood, but I’d say it’s still one Hell of a gamble.” Dean told her.

“So more than likely I’m ****ed.” She stated bluntly.

After a long pause Dean finally spoke up.

“Yeah…for what it’s worth we’re sorry kid.”

“Guess that leaves only one option.” She declared hopping off the table, “You know what to do.”

“You realize what you’re asking us to do right? You don’t really want to die do you?” Sam questioned.

“No.” She began to say as tears started to roll out of the corners of her eyes, “But I don’t want to be a monster either. I have no intention of waiting to see if I have enough willpower to keep myself from ripping out some poor *******’s throat.” She proclaimed as she sucked it up wiping the tears from her eyes.

Eventually they headed outside finding a secluded alley where they wouldn’t be seen. Dean pulled out his machete but didn’t do anything else right away.

“What’s wrong?” Hit-Girl asked.

“Having a hard time doing this.”

“You guys have killed vamps before haven’t you?”

“Yeah but they weren’t kids, and they were heartless bloodthirsty parasites.” Sam told her.

“And you know that’s what I will become if you don’t do this.” She reminded them.

After several more moments Dean finally steeped up lifting his machete up in the air as Hit-Girl closed her eyes.

“I am so sorry.” Dean spouted remorsefully, “I wish we didn’t have to do this.” He confessed.

“Then don’t.” A voice suddenly said behind them as they all turned to see Blade who abruptly walked up and stabbed Mindy in the arm with something as she let out a slight yelp.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked in shock.

“It’s the serum I use to fend off the thirst, this should take care of her for a while, especially considering that by vampire standards she’s still a newborn. As time passes though the thirst will get stronger requiring higher doses of the serum, I can hook you up.” He explained looking back down at her.

“Why are you helping me? I thought your vampire policy was kill first ask questions later.” She asked.

“There are times that I’ve regretted that choice. No, not everyone can be saved. But there have been ones that could’ve been. This is my way of making up for that.”

“Constantine said you were a murdering monster, that you don’t care.” She said.

“There was a time when I didn’t. What happened with his friend was…a mistake.” Blade admitted forlornly.

“Is he still chasing you?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, but I lost him in Virginia. He’ll catch up though, he always does.”

“Will a time come when the serum won’t work anymore?” Mindy asked.

“Possibly, even now I’m having a hard time with it.”

“What happens then?” Dean asked.

“That’s where I come in.” Booth said entering the alley with them.

“Who are you?” Mindy asked.

“Someone who used to be what you are.”

“Are you saying you found a cure?” Sam queried.

“No, it was magic, a spell. A powerful one.”

“Well then get your magic doc on the phone!” Dean exclaimed.

“Not that simple. The shaman who did this to me did it so it would be easier to kill me and he’s dead now anyway.”

“Then what are you suggesting?” Mindy jumped back in.

“I still have supernatural connections. I promise you I will find a way to cure you. For over 250 years I dealt with the hunger, and I promise you that you will not go through what I did. I will find a cure…I promise.

“Thank you.” She said stopping for a moment, “I just have one other question.”

“What is it?” Booth asked.

“Can I still eat hot fudge sundaes?”

*********

“Well, that was crazy wasn’t it?’ Sam asked as he and Dean drove down the road.

“Wouldn’t have believed it myself if we weren’t there.”

“A whole slew of heroes, vigilantes, hunters, slayers, monsters etc. All banding together to fight the greatest evil the world has ever known.”

“Yeah I know, sounds like a real crappy fan fic don’t it?”

“Well, it can’t be worse than some of the stuff that’s been written about us.”

“I swear to God if you start talking about that Wincest crap again I am so going to kick your ***.”

“I know, I’m just sayin.”

“I know what you’re sayin, now stop sayin it!”

“Homophobe.” Sam muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“No that wasn’t nothing that was something.”

“Meh, it’s just your hearing going bad, must be getting old.”

“Your mouth is getting old.”

“See your even starting to nag like an old man.”

“Oh that’s it I’m pulling the car over.”









END