What am I doing wrong?

[godofPH]

I get like slim-to-none feedback on my storys. The only feedback I get is from the ppl that I specifically ask to read them. How come nobody is reading my storys?

[Monsturra-Jake]

It depends. Something I have noticed is that you should, at least, spaced out the dialogue a little.

Like this:

"Tony is looking for some pizza," said June.

She looked for him at the pizza palor, but could not find him.

Notice that I spaced the dialogue a little.

Here's how you do it:

Tony is looking for some pizza," said June. She looked for him at the pizza palor, but could not find him.

This way isn't too terrible, but, when in a paragraph, it gets rather confusing. That is my only complaint, cause your stories are good. They aren't like amazing or anything, but, they aren't like *****.

[CII]

Format is an important thing to getting things read. If you put the whole story into one paragraph, it gets confusing. One of the reasons why I don't like reading most of the stories here. All of you seem to do the same thing, put everything into one paragraph.

[Monsturra-Jake]

Actually, he at least spaces, so he got the format down a little. I was just telling him about the dialogue spacing. Believe me, I know what CII is talking about.

[godofPH]

Hmm, I'll have to get on that dialogue spacing issue. Thank you for pointing that out Monstura. But I hit enter after each paragraph. I used to double space, but I stopped doing that.

[CII]

Actually, he at least spaces, so he got the format down a little. I was just telling him about the dialogue spacing. Believe me, I know what CII is talking about.

Yeah, because I told you the same thing.

It's the thing with every fanfic I see here...with the exception of my own, Juan, SA, and Angilus. Those fics have the readable format.

[godofPH]

Originally Posted by CII

Yeah, because I told you the same thing.

It's the thing with every fanfic I see here...with the exception of my own, Juan, SA, and Angilus. Those fics have the readable format.

I did dialogue spacing for the longer coversations in Gigaraptor vs Dracorial.

[Raptor]

IMO, EVERY story should at least be READABLE. See the Mechanics thread. If you do mess up (or in the case of forum changes), the EDIT feature lets you go back and fix stuff. Imagine if this forum didn't have all those little buttons at the top of the message field! Bet folks would scream because they couldn't post in red, make numbered lists as easy, center, link, etc.

Hitting ENTER twice gives spacing like this. AT LEAST hit the thing once when a different character starts talking! Same if you're changing the location or TIME of the action. This is the PARAGRAPH that is used in books and other written media to tell readers there is a "shift" of some kind. There are RULES how to use them that were (hopefully) presented back in grade school when we first learned how to write and got past the name at the top of the page stage...

[CII]

Originally Posted by godofPH

I did dialogue spacing for the longer coversations in Gigaraptor vs Dracorial.

You know, from what I've read, there wasn't much on dialog spacing.

Yeah, you may have many different paragraphs, but still, your dialog is still jumbled. Go back and fix it. That technique Monstura suggested, was my suggestion to him about his paragraphs.

[CII]

Originally Posted by Raptor

This is the PARAGRAPH that is used in books and other written media to tell readers there is a "shift" of some kind.

Actually, it's an indention. And yes I use them in the original MS docs I write in. You just don't see them here because of the way the board is set up.

[RyougaSaotome]

Indeed. To my knowledge, Most messageboards make it difficult for a user to indent. Everyone who mentioned the spacing in dialogue is absolutely correct. There's no way a reader will put themselves through your work if it strains their eyes to do so.

[godofPH]

Originally Posted by RyougaSaotome

Indeed. To my knowledge, Most messageboards make it difficult for a user to indent. Everyone who mentioned the spacing in dialogue is absolutely correct. There's no way a reader will put themselves through your work if it strains their eyes to do so.

I just fixed the dialogue spacing, but I found I cannot indent. That sucks.

[CII]

Thank you, Ryo.

Okay.......PH...when you write your document in your choice of word processor.....does the format look like this?

http://monsters4u.com/kedzuel/indentions.jpg

Because if it doesn't, that might be your problem here. Note the half inch indention to every paragraph I created, including the dialog. The dialog has its own paragraph. Please note this. I expect everyone to note this style. This is THE style published writers use. They indent the first sentence to note a new paragraph has started. I told Monstura this because one time he sent me his Word doc. And it didn't look this neat. Neat as in...readable...organized...not as in...'cool story' neat.

And I would appreciate that NO ONE READS WHAT'S ON THAT PICTURE. PLEASE. Don't. Nothing dirty about that story, it's just it's not intended for y'all. It was a joke that a friend of mine and I did one time. I wrote that for him, he took it to Iraq and read it to entertain himself while he was on his beaks from working on tanks. Okay, let's leave it.

Just look at the format, don't read the story...look at format....

[CII]

Originally Posted by godofPH

I just fixed the dialogue spacing, but I found I cannot indent. That sucks.

No no...the spacing should have been done in the word document. The indentions are done in the word document. The board doesn't indent. This is why you double space each paragraph when you post it on the board. But for the word document....you don't need to double space, just indent every beginning paragraph sentence. This should be your guideline for when you DO post it on the board.

[godofPH]

Thing is, it looks just like that in Word. It just doesn't survive the trip between Word and KP.

[CII]

really.......

Do you put in 'hard returns' in the word document, or do you do the 'hard returns' when you post it up on KP?